Yes it's true. I finally met a lover who understands my pain yet isn't afraid to be rough with me. I am into kink after all. But stupid endometriosis pain slowed down my slutty ways. That is until I met him. I now call him Daddy.
Daddy isn't any one I would consider dating. I mean, I've basically dated this guy before except this version is more empathetic...just not quite on my level. I know I ask for too much and prefer to stay alone otherwise but finding someone you can talk to and that can fuck is rare for me.
It's probably because he's Puerto Rican. Every Puerto Rican guy, not including my unfortunate first time, has been able to fuck the shit out of me. Like, we keep up with each other and everything. Nevertheless there are flaws and possible red flags and I can't afford any precious time to spare.
We went from talking on the phone for hours and long texts to sporadic texts and no phone calls and I wonder if its because I'm having my period and I'm in pain or is it just his own pain, which he's stated was the cause?
It's annoying because I didn't want to care and almost started to care but these long lapses in between texts are starting to turn me off. I have mental health issues dude, like you can't just change shit up on me. And he knows this. Now though, I see things for what they truly are.
Call it a lesson. Call it stating the obvious to the oblivious. But I need to slow down and take things day by day. I get that. He is in another relationship but I thought they both wanted another woman in the mix. Now I'm just here by myself. In pain and a little horny lol weed helps and hinders when you're by yourself.
He bought me two collars and a new vibrator and I like presents like that but I love attention even more. In the kink community I'm what is known as a submissive Brat and...well it's self explanatory or look it up on urban dictionary. Either way, I want what I want or I shut down. I don't want to.
I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but I'm impatient. I want to be patient. Being in pain with my period keeps me patient. I just wish he could master polygamy and not make me feel like a side chick. I shouldn't have committed right away but it felt so natural. I just got to take it easy. Rest my mind, journal it out and go with the flow. Again, weed helps. Xoxox
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Dear Diary: But Seriously, What the Fuck?
Non-FictionI don't blog, just needed a place to vent. Who knows, maybe someone will read it and empathize or sympathize with me. All I know is, we're not alone. No matter how different we look on the outside, we all go through the same bloody bullshit. So this...
