Waddup bitch? Yeah, I'm talking to you, you non curable disease! The reason why I, at 39, consider myself to be an early retiree rather than someone who is disabled...and technically I'm "disabled" because of my kidney transplant. But still! You're a fucking bitch and I hate you!!
Yet, I would never wish this disease on even my worst enemies. Then again I don't have any to my knowledge but endo is literally torture. Y'all know, I mean if you're reading this, chances are you were curious at what I had to say about my own experience. It fucking sucks and weed isn't legal in New York yet. Fucking Cuomo!
I may sound cranky and it is before 7 am on a Monday morning but I'm actually in a good head space. I just wanted to put a little spotlight on the fact that March is Endometriosis Awareness month. I suffered for 10 years, excruciating pain and I had never even heard of the disease until 2 years ago.
Now that I know I have it, (Fuck the doctor who won't confirm it without laparoscopic surgery, like an MRI wand up my hooha can't see shit any clearer), I like learning as much as I can about treatments and natural healing. I tried an IUD birth control to help and Mirena is the devil y'all. Almost a year of the worst pain I've ever felt in my life and I wasn't even having sex.
Then there's the aforementioned surgery. Listen, you want to put lasers on my stomach where my kidney transplant is? You must be out of your damn mind. I've had this little guy for 10 and a half years now and even a routine kidney stone surgery nearly killed me. Fuck that. Option C please.
Oh yeah, there are 3 options to deal with endo; birth control and I'm including early menopause and hysterectomies in that category, the dang on surgery and finally pain therapy. Yes. Yes to pain medication. Give me the drugs but mostly weed although even that sometimes doesn't work and a percocet will put me to sleep. If it doesn't make me vomit.
Having endo is like that Pepto Bismo commercial where they name all the things they treat e.g. diarrhea, upset stomach and indigestion. My insides feel all screwed up because of it. It...it just plain sucks balls. But I'm glad people are becoming more aware of it. They see how debilitating it is and I hope they understand that the pain ain't no joke *in my Rakim voice*
I want to give a shout out to all my fellow Endo warriors. Ladies, it's our month or whatever. Let's wear yellow ribbons or whatever corresponds to the disease and be proud of our scars. Be proud of those days and nights you spent crying in pain. Be proud that you get up and fight everyday with this shit in your life. Even if some people don't believe you or can't accept the disease and what comes with it, girl, I do. I see you and I hear you...and we got this shit!
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Dear Diary: But Seriously, What the Fuck?
Non-FictionI don't blog, just needed a place to vent. Who knows, maybe someone will read it and empathize or sympathize with me. All I know is, we're not alone. No matter how different we look on the outside, we all go through the same bloody bullshit. So this...
