Always In My Heart

Chapter 1- Someday

The cold, blue water rushing over my toes sends shivers down my spine. I can feel the wet sand morph to the shape of my feet as I wriggle my toes. A smile stretches across my face. I feel amazing, so free, so at ease for once in my life. Then all of a sudden, all I can see is black. Water. Everywhere. Rushing over my face and flooding my nose. I gasp and choke in a huge gulp of sea water. The salt stings the back of my throat as I attempt to cry out. My head resurfaces and I can see a blurry image of violent waves crashing against me, knocking me underneath of the water once more. I am beginning to grow exhausted from fighting the gruesome, rough water.
My head bobs above the waves once more and I can now see a dark silhouette approaching me. The figure wades frantically toward me as I am yet again knocked beneath the waves. I feel a strong hand grab my arm and quickly pull me up; my face breaking the surface of the water, the sun blinding me. I violently gasp for air, but am still unable to breathe. I feel the gritty sand beneath my back as a very soft, yet masculine, set of hands shakes my shoulders. I hear a muffled voice yelling, muted by the sharp ringing in my ears . . .

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I gasp loudly, choking on my own breath as I jolt awake in bed.

"Louis! Louis, wake up!!!" I open my eyes to find a wide, concerned set of green eyes meeting mine. My best friend, Nikki, is kneeling on the bed next to me, staring wide-eyed at me with her hands on my shoulders.

"Louis, are you okay???" I nod, breathing hard. I clear my throat before I speak.

"Yeah..." I respond, my voice raspy and shaky. She blinks at me, slowly removing her hands from my shoulders. She runs her fingers through my hair, gently removing my sweaty fringe from my forehead. She swallows hard and sighs.

"I worry about you, Lou," she says quietly, a hint of grief in her voice. I give her my best you-worry-too-much-I'm-fine-I-promise look. She nods, as if reading my mind. How does she do that? A hint of a smile plays across my lips, lightening the mood of the dim, early morning bedroom.

"It was just a nightmare, nothing out of the ordinary, Nica," I tell her, trying to be reassuring, even though I'm not very assured myself. I have no idea why I have always had such horrific nightmares. And they have only grown more frequent and disturbing just recently. Maybe it's the London weather? Yeah, that's it.

"I woke up when I heard you screaming..." she says quietly, looking down at my fingers that she is now playing with nervously. "I... I just worry, Lou, I..." I cut her off by playfully putting my finger up to her lips. We both heartily laugh at each other. She glances over at the digital clock on the nightstand that glows with the time, '5:13'. She looks at me warmly and leans down to kiss my cheek gently.

"Go back to sleep, Lou. I'll be in my room if you need me." she says, standing up and slowly making her way out of the room, closing the door behind her. I roll over onto my right side and pull the duvet up to my neck, trying to relax. I let out a deep sigh as I slowly and gradually drift off to sleep.

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I wake to the smell of eggs frying in the kitchen, the delectable scent teasing my nose. I cannot bring myself to open my eyes. I can feel the warmth of the sun, cascading through the windows, on my closed eyelids. I groan at the sensation. I have never been a morning person and have vowed that I never will be.

I slowly pad down the cold, hardwood stairs of the apartment with the duvet still wrapped around me. As I make my way down the narrow hallway leading to the kitchen, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the wall. I have dark circles under my eyes and my hair is a bloody mess. I almost shriek out loud, but manage to stifle my horror to a quiet gasp. Is this what uncontrollable nightmares do to a man? Yikes, is all my brain manages to say.