Before I Go

Chapter 10- Girl Talk

"Hey, says Ashton chirpily, leaning against the locker immediately next to mine. Her head falls back against the metal door, her wavy red hair cascading over her shoulder. Looking at me expectantly, she asks, "You wanna hang out tonight?"

I'm momentarily stunned by the invitation itself, but the sheer sincerity in its delivery has this strange sensation fluttering my stomach. It's so completely unfamiliar to me that I feel like I might throw up or something. I do my best to portray a more unaffected expression, softly clearing my throat before replying, "Yeah, that sounds like fun." As the words leave my lips, they set off another wave of flutters, and the weird reaction makes me believe that I might actually mean it; maybe it actually does sound like fun. It's entirely foreign to me, but I have to admit that I don't hate it. In fact, maybe I'm somewhat looking forward to spending some time with Ashton.

That's something I never thought I'd experience.

Ash smiles at me and happily responds, "Cool. Should we just chill at your place?"

I'm silent for a moment as I mentally debate her question. Would my parents be okay with that? With me bringing a friend over unannounced? Without asking for prior permission? Suddenly, I'm feeling particularly overwhelmed at the prospect of having Ashton in my house today. I take a deep breath, hoping that I can prevent any stupidly obvious and embarrassing display in the middle of the crowded hallway. What is wrong with me? I glance at Ash, noting the lack of judgment on her face and in her eyes. It calms me slightly. My parents would be okay with it, right? Who knows, they might even appreciate seeing me socializing with someone for a change. Swallowing down as much of my emotions as I can, I quietly respond, "Sure." Closing my own locker, I continue, "Doofy would probably enjoy the extra company. He's a spoiled little thing and hates being alone."

With a hearty laugh, Ashton replies, "Just like a princess, huh? He wants all of the attention."

I smile back at her, relieved that she hasn't disappeared yet; for some reason, she has willingly decided to stick by me, even after knowing some of the worst things about me. She's seen my struggles, witnessed my awkwardness, and she's still here. How did I get so lucky? "I suppose you're right," I agree, a quiet chuckle leaving my lips. I can't help but think that today feels like a good day. I feel... happy. And while it's new and unfamiliar, it's also far from terrible. In fact, I think I like it. I like being friends with Ashton. It's nice to have someone to talk to... someone who understands me.

Someone who makes me feel like I'm not entirely screwed up...

It's not long before we're hanging out in my room with Doofy curled up between us on the bed. It feels... strange to have a friend over, to have some other person sharing my space. But it's strange in a good way, I think. I think I could get used to it.

"Did you see Link's new haircut today?" Ash gushes, a silly grin plastered to her face. "Ugh, he's just the cutest thing..." she adds, a dreamy sigh passing her lips as she falls backward onto the bed.

"Um... yeah, I noticed he looked different," I reply uneasily. While it isn't entirely a lie, I honestly didn't pay much attention to Link at school today; I try not to pay much attention to anyone, if I'm honest. Regardless of that, I feel a tinge of pink warming my cheeks at the topic. I've never had anyone to talk about boys with before...

It's weird.

"Different? Morgan, the boy is gorgeous!" she exclaims, pressing one hand to her chest while using the other to prop herself up so she can look at me. "Like, the butterflies-in-the-stomach, heart-racing-like-NASCAR kind of beautiful."

"He's not really my type, I guess," I say quietly, doing my best to avoid eye contact with her. I'm suddenly uncomfortable, wondering whether or not I should share my own crush with her. That's what friends do, right? I mean, she did just tell me hers.

"Well, who is your type then?" she asks curiously. A momentary heaviness presses against my chest as Ash voices the exact question I was expecting. She's my friend; she won't judge me. Right?

After a short pause and a deep breath, I whisper, "Parker Adams." The name slips from my lips so quietly that I'm unsure if she can hear me. I'm not sure if I want her to hear me... but it's out there now, and I can't take it back.

What if she makes fun of me?

"Ooh, Parker Adams!" Ashton squeals excitedly, and I can't decide whether I regret telling her or not. "Yes, girl! I was worried you didn't have good taste," she laughs.

My embarrassment is short-lived as a further confession slips past my lips. "I've kinda had a crush on him since, like, second grade..." I admit, a small smile of my own turning up the corners of my mouth.

"Morgan! Oh, goodness, that's so cute! We've gotta get you two together!" she gushes.

"Oh, no," I protest, almost entirely certain that I do not want the boy of my dreams to know about my feelings for him; it couldn't possibly lead to anything good. "Parker would never like me back. We're too different."

Ash replies with a shrug, "Well, they say opposites attract. You never know what will happen."

Oh, no... What have I done? Is she gonna tell Parker about my crush on him? If she does, is he gonna laugh at me? Is the whole school gonna find out that Loser Morgan has a giant crush on Popular Parker?

"Don't worry, Morgan, I won't tell anyone," she reassures me. It's almost as if Ashton has read my mind or something. She must have sensed my uneasiness somehow. Is that a normal thing for friends to do? Or maybe I'm just that easy to read?

Either way, it really is good to have a friend who gets me.