Before I Go

Chapter 17- 6. Kiss A Cute Boy

Ashton barges into my room with her arms overflowing with snacks and a bright smile illuminating her face. Whatever she's so excited about, I have no idea. But I definitely don't want to dampen her mood with my usual negativity. I gulp down my feelings and force my lips to tip upwards into a smile of my own. Obviously, my display of shared happiness is entirely fake, but Ash has the courtesy to not call me out on it; I can't help but wonder if that's a typical thing between friends or if Ashton is just so in-tune to what I need that she's simply made a habit of it. I wouldn't really know either way, as she's the first friend I've ever had.

"I figured we could just hang out here and gorge ourselves while we make a plan for the next item on the list," she announces, unceremoniously dropping the pile of goodies onto the foot of my bed. "So?" she asks eagerly, bouncing a little on her feet as she looks at me expectantly. "What are we working with today?"

My eyes hesitantly flicker over to the desk, the list the only thing lying atop its surface. I unconsciously chew on my lower lip, unsure whether or not I'm ready for this. Not only is Ashton going to think that I'm certifiably out of my mind, but number six is... huge. It's the most massive step out of my comfort zone that I could ever imagine. I'm terrified of what the results will be, of Ash's reaction when she reads the words written on the page. And yet, her response isn't the one I'm most afraid of. My heart thrums in my chest, the individual beats blending into more of a humming vibration instead. A sliver of panic wiggles into the back of my mind, slowly bleeding through my entire body.

Understanding that I likely won't say the words aloud nor willingly offer up the paper to her, Ash takes matters into her own hands and crosses over to the desk. I watch silently as she picks up the object of my current distress, holding my breath as her eyes search the page for the answer she's seeking.

I almost regret agreeing to let her help me complete the tasks on the list right at this moment. Almost.

My head spins as the smile on Ashton's face stretches when she reads the words beside the number six, attempting to prepare myself for a squeal or some other kind of loud and slightly obnoxious noise, but... it doesn't come, much to my surprise. I observe her for a few moments, waiting anxiously for something to happen. For the shoe to drop. But Ash just stands there, eyes focused as she stares at the paper in her hand, her lips spread wide as if she's just read something absolutely crazy.

Oh, God. It is crazy, isn't it?

Like a turtle, I feel the pressing instinctual need to retreat into the safety of my shell until the threat of utter humiliation passes. What the hell was I thinking, letting Ash have free access to my bucket list, knowing what it contains? I feel my cheeks flame hotly, the heat of my embarrassment eating me alive from the inside out. Honestly, I feel like I'm going to melt into a puddle of absolutely mortified Morgan right where I stand. Wouldn't that be something? As if I'm not enough of a mess already, turning into a molten glob of sticky goo would undoubtedly solidify the idea that I could probably use some psychiatric help.

Several minutes go by, with neither of us saying a word. I begin to feel lightheaded as I can't seem to catch my breath, my brain developing all kinds of scenarios about how this could possibly go from here. I teeter on my feet, falling backward until I land seated on my bed. Covering my face with my hands, I close my eyes and try my best to formulate a sentence, anything to break the unnerving silence. "Ashton?" I ask cautiously, my voice quiet as I force it out. "Are you broken...?"

"I'm so excited for number six!!" she squeals excitedly, tossing the list back onto the desktop and hurrying toward the bed. She pushes the snacks aside, clearing a space for herself beside me before climbing up next to me.

Ah, there it is...

6. Kiss a cute boy- a real kiss. Preferably Parker Adams, but any cute boy might do.

"You know this is totally doable, right?" she asks, eyeing me as if I have absolutely nothing to worry about right now. "This is gonna be a piece of cake for you."

Ashton's words do little to ease my doubts, but I don't verbally disagree with her. Instead, I sit quietly as she rambles on; I can see her mouth moving, but my brain is unable to process whatever she's saying. My mind is far too focused on the idea of trying to lock lips with the only boy I've ever had a crush on to pay any attention to the conversation.

"Morgs?" Ash asks, concern taking over her features. The sound of her calling my name is enough to snap me out of my train of thought. I blink rapidly, focusing my vision on my friend as I concentrate on returning to the task at hand. "Parker is totally into you," she adds, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Trust me, you'll have no problem snagging that kiss. Honestly, I don't even think you'll have to work very hard to get it."

I give a short nod in response, my cheeks reddening again at the thought. "So... we don't really need a plan, then?" I ask carefully, my nose scrunched in my state of combined anxiousness and confusion.

Smiling warmly at me, Ash replies, "I'd be willing to bet that if we just let things progress naturally, Parker Adams will be stealing kisses from you in no time."

My eyes widen slightly before I avert my gaze from Ashton's face, feeling the blush on my cheeks deepening every second. I mentally mull over the words she's just said, unable to stop the slow curl of my lips as a rush of excitement floods my veins.

I'm going to kiss Parker Adams.