Before I Go

Chapter 22- 7. Do Something Bold

7. Do something bold- something spontaneous, without overthinking too much

Getting out of my comfort zone could almost be considered some kind of strenuous activity for me. I'm talking, like, Olympic-level sports or something. It may sound like I'm drastically stretching the truth here, but that's pretty much exactly what it feels like to me. Sure, it actually takes little to no physical exertion, but it is mentally exhausting and all-consuming. The drastic way my heart rate increases, slamming against the inside of my ribcage as if it's trying to break free. Combine that with the way my lungs spasm as they desperately try to intake enough oxygen to sustain my breathing, which should be something that requires little to no actual effort, as it's the body's innate reaction to... I don't know, stay alive? The results could be easily and sufficiently compared to running a marathon or something, and that's not even an exaggeration. The toll it takes on my mental and emotional state to do anything out of the ordinary is practically inexplicable. It can take an excruciatingly long period of time just to convince myself to break my routine in the first place.

And even then, sometimes I just can't do it.

Trying something new is absolutely terrifying to me. If I'm honest, it's almost paralyzing at times. It's traumatizing, even. I constantly struggle to find the courage to accept that it's okay to make changes. To recognize that it isn't the end of the world when something new happens or things don't go according to my original plan. To be comfortable taking the risk. I overthink any and all possible outcomes until my brain feels like gelatin. Honestly, just thinking about stepping out of my little box of safety sends both my heart and thoughts racing.

But that's precisely why I put it on my list.

Now, what kind of "something crazy" do I have in mind? I have to admit that it sounds absolutely ridiculous. Don't get me wrong; I know this. But there's something in my gut telling me I have to do it anyway. There's a little voice screaming at me that not only is it necessary, but it will be wholly worth every ounce of strain it holds over my well-being.

I'm gonna put Serena Harrison in her place.

As I walk into the school, a whirlwind of emotions runs through me, and my mind is overflowing with thousands of what-ifs. My stomach churns at the idea that I'm going to mess up and make a fool of myself in front of the entire school. Anxiety prickles at my skin, the flesh peaking into tiny bumps as I try to swallow down the fear that is slowly possessing me. I shake my head, trying to clear the questions that are swarming me, and silently reassure myself that everything will be okay.

No one is going to laugh at me. My plan won't backfire. Parker won't get mad at me for what I'm about to do. I've got this.

Taking a deep breath, I lock eyes on my target and approach the intimidatingly large group that is primarily made up of popular people standing near Parker's locker. I notice Serena's close proximity to Parker, and I can't help the green-eyed monster that tries to rear its head at the sight of her invading his space like that. Gosh, jealousy can be an evil witch, I'm telling you.

You can do it, Morgan.

With one last deep breath, I step up beside Parker, making sure to keep the distance between our bodies minimal. "Hey, Parker," I say, trying my best to sound flirtatious. I'm not entirely sure if I've pulled it off, but I've come much too far already to back out now. So, I place my hand on his arm as he turns to look at me, looking up at him through my lashes.

"Hey, Morgan," Parker replies with a bright smile that warms me from the inside out. Just the sight of him almost makes me forget my plan altogether. And my name. Maybe even how to breathe.

Snapping myself out of my Parker-induced daze, I ask, "Can I talk to you before class?" Biting my bottom lip, I slide my hand down his arm until I reach his palm, interlocking our fingers together.

Parker nods at me, still smiling, and silently leads us away from the group hand-in-hand. As we pass by Serena, I casually lean into his side as if being so close to Parker doesn't send my pulse skyrocketing. I can't help but shoot a wink in her direction, further enraging the already fuming girl.

If looks could kill right now...

"What did you want to talk about?" Parker asks once we're out of earshot of everyone else, his melodic voice breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Okay, I hope you don't hate me for this, but... I just wanted to annoy Serena, I guess... she gave me a 'final warning' to stay away from you yesterday..." I embarrassedly admit, feeling the heat fill my cheeks as a blush suddenly takes over.

"She did what?" he asks, looking less than happy. In fact, I'd probably say that the gleam in his eyes clearly expresses some underlying anger he's likely feeling right now. The expression on his face makes my heart sink into my stomach. Even though I know it's not directed at me, I definitely don't like seeing Parker Adams upset.

I unconsciously bite my bottom lip, telling myself that Parker's distress isn't because of me. That it's Serena causing his unpleasant feelings. Still, I can't stop the apology from slipping past my lips. "So... I'm really sorry that I kinda used you to get to her right now," I say quietly, hoping that the words might relieve some of the tension currently surrounding us.

"Don't be sorry," Parker says before leaning closer to me, his presence and closeness taking over every single one of my senses. "I like flirty Morgan," he whispers, causing my cheeks to instantly inflame and my breath to catch in my throat.

This boy really does something to me.

Not that I'm complaining.