Before I Go

Chapter 14- You Look Cute

Music from the party can be heard from at least a block away, which makes me feel increasingly anxious as we get closer to the house. The rumbling vibrations of the bass can be felt through the ground, rattling every nerve in my body. Doubt clouds my mind, and insecurities rear their ugly heads, prepared to battle to the death right in the pit of my cramped stomach. I should have known better than to try to go to a party... loud noises are not my favorite thing. And crowds. Crowds are definitely not my favorite, either.

But... Ashton is my favorite. And Parker... he's my favorite. And... completing my list... yeah, that's my favorite, too.

I don't want to have any regrets when I...

"You okay there, Morgs?" Ashton's voice asks, pulling me back to reality. She looks concerned as her eyes rake over my face. I know she's reading me, worriedly assessing my current mental state. "I asked if you're ready to go in," she says, caution evident in her tone.

I suddenly feel stupid, guilty even, for worrying her right now. I wonder if I'll ever get the hang of this friend thing. "O-oh," I say dumbly, immediately wishing that I could somehow string together a more appropriate response. I was so caught up in thoughts that I hadn't even noticed that we had arrived at our destination. As I look at my friend, embarrassment hits me as I realize where my thoughts had wandered. "Y-yeah, I g-guess," my voice mumbles. I know my response is less than convincing, even as I try to contain my obvious discomfort. I hate that I can't just force myself to put on a mask of confidence for once.

"Okay, but first, take a deep breath for me," she instructs, moving to stand directly in front of me. The difference in our heights causes me to look at her, instantly distracting my vision from the chaotic and terrifying house before us. "And close your eyes."

I do as I'm told, closing my eyes and taking a couple of deep breaths. When I open my eyes again, Ash is smiling at me.

"Better?" she asks, as if she already knows the answer to her question.

I nod in response, not sure if I can get any words out without further embarrassing myself right now. I don't even want to try; I'm afraid that if I open my mouth to speak, I'll just end up begging Ashton to take me home. I can't do that.

"Great," she replies, linking our arms together and leading the way to the party.

I can do this...

Right?

I guess I don't have any choice but to try, now that we're here... Otherwise, I'll look stupid. And probably upset Ashton by making her miss the party because of me.

We enter the front door, and I immediately notice that the house is packed full of people. It's crowded with drunken, dancing bodies, all crammed into the space like sardines in a can. I keep reminding myself that everything is okay. That I'm not alone. That I can do this. Ash leads the way through the house toward the kitchen, being careful not to leave my sight, and I can't help but feel entirely grateful for her right now. I'm so wholly engrossed with the task of following her that I accidentally bump right into someone. A very tall, slightly muscular someone with good taste in shirts, who happens to smell nice...

Well, that's creepy. I'm officially a creep.

A rude creep who bumps into people...

"Oh, I'm so sorry," I mumble, immediately recognizing the familiar heat in my cheeks. Slowly, I raise my gaze to look up at the face of the person I ran into.

Holy crap.

It's Parker.

He smiles at me and replies, "It's okay, Morgan. No harm done."

"H-hey, Parker..." I say, embarrassed enough to wish that the floor would swallow me whole right this second.

"Hey, yourself," he responds, his eyes glimmering with an emotion I can't identify. "You look cute tonight."

I think I might have just died...

I look cute...? Parker Adams told me that I looked cute!

My brain is having a hard time functioning right now...

"I'm glad you came tonight," Parker says, smiling down at me.

"Uh, y-yeah... you know, when Parker Adams tells you he'd like to see you at a party, you kinda have to show up," I respond, suddenly feeling uncharacteristically brave. I must admit that it scares me a bit.

"You came to the party just for me?" he asks, a hint of surprise in his voice. It's also clearly displayed on his face, and I find myself melting slightly at the entirely adorable expression.

I shrug, trying my best to maintain my composure. I really do not want to turn into a puddle in the middle of this party-- that would be an embarrassment I could never live down. "No, you were just an added bonus," I reply.

If it were possible, I would swear that Parker's smile got even brighter the second those words escaped my lips. My heart threatens to jump clear out of my chest.

Ugh, he's so fricken cute!

"So, are you here with anyone?" he asks me.

Oh, crap.

Ashton.

Where did she go? She promised not to leave me...

Before I can completely panic, I take a look around. I can see Ashton in the kitchen, only about five or so feet away from where I'm standing. A wave of relief washes over me as she smiles at me, urging me to continue talking to the cute boy standing next to me.

"I came with my friend, Ashton," I tell Parker.

"Ashton... Ripley?" he asks curiously.

I nod in response, biting my lip. Insecurity fills my stomach, and my thoughts start racing. Does Parker not like Ashton? Is it wrong that I'm here with her...?

"Oh, I didn't realize you two were friends," he says. "Ashton doesn't seem to like people being too close to her."

I shrug again. It's like some kind of instinctual response to my own awkwardness or something. "It's kinda new, I guess," I admit quietly. "But she's my best friend."

My only friend, but you don't need to know that.

Parker smiles his adorable smile and says, "Well, good. You two actually seem like you'd get along perfectly."

What the heck does that mean? I'm so confused right now...

Suddenly, a body crashes into me, pushing me directly into Parker. His arms lock around me, catching me, preventing me from hitting the ground. I'm overcome with emotions, both by the feeling of being in Parker's arms and how incredibly stupid I feel right now.

Oh, FML... I can't even make it a few minutes without embarrassing myself...

"Watch it, Loser," an angry voice says from behind me, most likely directing the insult at me, even though this minor incident wasn't even my fault.

"Are you okay?" Parker asks, steadying me on my feet. His hands linger on my arms for several seconds, and I'm almost certain I feel tiny sparks of electricity where our skin touches. Is that weird? Gah, maybe I'm imagining things.

I nod, trying my best to hold back embarrassed tears... or maybe tears of frustration, I don't know. At this point, I don't think it really even matters. "Thanks..." I mumble, afraid to speak any louder, fearing my voice will crack and the tears will fall. "I'm gonna go find Ash..." With that, I quickly leave the area, making a beeline straight to Ash, who happens to be already on her way to me. I need to get out of her as soon as possible. No more party for me...