Levi + Reader Oneshots

Depressed Levi + Reader

⚠️⚠️⚠️ Warning: There are themes of self-harm in this oneshot. If this is something you aren't comfortable with please skip this oneshot.

Words: 1524

Your eyes naturally flicked to the door as it opened, but only for a second. They flicked back to the cadet you were talking to when you saw that it wasn't the person you were dying to see. Worry bubbled up and in your gut as you let out a little sigh to try and calm yourself. This didn't go unnoticed, a spectacled woman's eyes zeroing in on your form. You were a captain so you had to hide how you were really feeling, you had to remain in control of your emotions and body language.

"-and tomorrow please make sure that you actually turn up to training. You've all had a couple of days rest after... after..." your words faltered in your mouth "so just turn up".

The cadet saluted and ran off before being replaced by Hange, you gave her a small smile, but nothing got past her "you're worried about Levi aren't you?" She asked.

"Of course I am. I understand that he's upset and grieving but we haven't seen him since we got back, I mean... is he even eating?"

You had just gotten back from the 57th expedition, which was widely regarded as one of the worst expeditions in the history of the scouts. The mood in HQ was dim at best and Captain Levi had shut himself away in his office-bedroom ever since, everyone was worried but you were the most, you had grown to love the man since he had been dragged up from the underground.

"I know, but I wouldn't worry, you know he just has to work through something's. He just grieves different to the rest of us that's all" Hange nodded to you.

"The last time he shut himself away, or tried to, was when he lost Furlan and Isabel. But then he was stuck in the halls so he wasn't alone, even if he had felt it, I'm going to have to check on him at some point I'll drive myself mad otherwise." You mumbled.

"You love him, I get that, but don't let that run you. You know how angry he gets when someone bursts into his office without knocking" Hange laughed.

You have a short laugh as well "I won't burst in I promise I just want to check on him and bring him something to eat. I'll go later tonight so that I don't draw attention to him, he'll hate that even more"

Hange nodded "just don't annoy him. I would hate for him to throw something at that pretty face".

You just nodded back and thankfully the conversation turned elsewhere, mainly to Hange's research and crazy experiments. You were glad for the distraction but your mind couldn't help thinking about the missing coal haired man, it was a small voice in the back of your head constantly reminding you that he was missing and alone.

*Time Skip*

When night fell you did as you said and headed to Levi's office, you made sure that it was past curfew as no one would be out and walking around. You had a tray of food you that you had grabbed from the mess hall on the way from your office, you kept it steady in your hand as you quietly moved through the hallways.

You paused once you reached his door, you hand was raised, ready to knock on the door, but you second guessed. If you knocked he either wouldn't answer or tell you to go away in his usual harsh and abrasive manner, so instead you just gently pushed open the door and peaked you head around the look at the room.

The plate in your hand instantly dropped to the floor sounding a crash that echoed around his dark and silent room, it caught the attention of the man who caused your shock in the first place. Levi was sat at his empty desk a sharp piece of his ODM gear pressed against his wrist, blood coating his arm, blade and desk.

His eyes were empty and gaunt-less as he looked at you like he didn't care, you had made it in time - he had only done one arm, but the sight of his blood stopped you on the spot. He didn't yell at you for barging in, he didn't yell at you for dropping the food and making a mess, he just turned away from you and went to keep cutting into his arm. But he didn't get far.

You yelled and dashed forward faster than you had moved in your life, your hand grabbed his cut wrist and pulled it away the blade slipping a bit and slightly catching you fingers before you could slap it away. Levi didn't react only dropping the blade which went flying across the room from the force of your slap, it was harder than you intended to hit him, you were just in shock.

You squeezed your hand tight around the wound trying to stop the flow of blood, his blood moved through the gaps in your fingers covering your hand and dripping to the floor. The blood began to slow thanks to your tight grip. But this also meant that you couldn't let his wrist go until you had the correct medical equipment to replace it.

"What the hell are you doing!" You didn't mean the shout like that but the scene had shocked you so much that you couldn't help it.

Levi said nothing his eyes stuck to the floor, you didn't say anything more and hauled him to his feet knowing that he wouldn't say anything no matter how much you pried. You dragged him from his room forcefully, not that he was putting up much of a fight, and took him straight to the infirmary internally panicking the entire time. A wave of relief also washed over you when you realised that you got to him just in time any later and you dread to think what you would find.

You had never gotten to the infirmary faster, you sat him on one of the beds still holding his wrist and did your best to pull the covers around you both to hide him from the other patients, who were lucky enough to survive the 57th expedition. Levi was still silent, very uncharacteristically quiet, he was a quiet man, but not like this, not upset quiet.

You stayed quiet letting him think while you began to patch him up, you needed desperately to get answers from him but you had to be carful not to push him over the edge. You pried you're hand away from his wrist the blood beginning to dry, slightly sticking your hand to him, you quickly placed the bandage over his arm tying it tight before it could reopen. You let out a sad sigh which finally drew his eyes to you.

"Why...?" Your voice broke as you fought back tears.

You heard him let out a sigh "...I ...can't. I've lost everyone... who cares... about me"

"I care about you Levi! I love you Levi and it hurts me when you hurt yourself like this" your voices raised again.

"No, you just think you do. In reality... I'm... alone" he mumbled.

"Don't you dare tell me how I feel about you! I love you and that's, that. Not only that, but think of everyone you'll leave behind who cares about you" you growled "Hange, Erwin even the new cadets all respect and care about you"

"(Y/N)..." he shook his head.

"You aren't the only one who lost people on that mission, or even in your life" you fell to your knees crying.

You felt the weight of everything that you had been repressing from that mission hit you at once, you sobbed loud enough to wake up the entire of HQ. Your squad was part of the support group that followed Levi's squad to keep the female titan at bay as they raced through the forest of giant trees, you watched them all get murdered by blunt force, blood flying, that image forever painted in your head.

Even worse...

You knew they were heading to their deaths, but you couldn't say anything as there was a spy among the scouts. You had been with them for so long and trusted them with anything's day to the end, but that clear instruction from Erwin kept your mouth shut and simultaneously sent them to their deaths.

You felt a rough hand on your head brushing through your hair, prompting you to speak "please, please Levi. Just talk to me, I can't lose you too we've been together for so long"

"On one condition..." you heard Levi's voice, it seemed to be turning back to normal.

"Anything to stop this" you looked up ignoring the wet patch your tears left in his thigh.

"You have to rely on me too" he smiled.

"Like I said... anything" you met his smile with one of your dazzling own.