𝕰𝖝𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖓𝖆𝖑 { 𝕵.𝕺 } (ON HOLD)

11.

Kiyomi

I put on my black leather jacket grabbing my keys ready to walk out the door. Im going to my moms funeral.

It's for me, not for her.

I just wanna get some things off my mind. I'm not ready to see my family tho. My moms side of the family is super messy and I don't fuck with most of them. And I don't like my step-dad or his 14 fucking kids. Then all his grand kids gonna be there so I'm just gonna take my time getting there.

I got in my car and drove to the gas station.
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The burial was now over and I was talking to my uncle. The only person on my mom side I really like, aside from cousins. He was basically telling me how she loved me so much and she used to cry about me all the time. Saying I should've forgave her before she died.

Bullshit.

She didn't care about us. The only person she cared about was my youngest brother and her husband. And even before that she barely cared, we were never her first priority. Every time she had a boyfriend  he treated us like shit and she let him. And when she didn't have one, which was rare, she was at work all the time or out. For her to work so much we sure didn't have shit, she spent her money on everything but us.

And it burns me inside.

I spent so many years in denial and hating my dad just because he was tryna tell me the truth. I regret it but our relationship is better now. After not listening to what my uncle was saying he left and I was alone.

I walked up to the grave and sat down. "This is for me and me only. I'm doing this for myself. I just want you to know I regret nothing I said. After so long I'm finally going to let it go. For me and just so I could put it past myself. I never really was mad.....I was hurt. It did slowly turned into anger but for the most part I was hurt. I hated seeing everyone else run to their mom after school while I had to walk home by myself in 3rd grade. I hated not being able to talk vent to my mom cause she was always in the room with her boyfriend and never around. I hated that I wasn't wanted there unless I was babysitting for you. Hated seeing you be there for my younger brother and doing better for him than you did for the rest of us. I hated seeing my brother mistreated and being guilt tripped when I stood up for him. I hated seeing you and my sister arguing all the time when she tried to talk to you. I hated that you blamed everything on us. I hated that you regret having us. I hated that when you look at me you see my dad. I hated everything, but the one thing I hated the most was feeling like my mother wasn't in my life even though she was. But you made me who I am today, and I'm not the best person but I like me this way. Thank you" I let out a breath wiping my tears and getting up.

I finally got to let that out. I got in my car and drove home

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Shutting the door with my foot I slid down on the floor. Today was a long day. I'm glad I don't have to work tonight.

I hate it here.

I got in the shower and put on some sweatpants and a tank top with no bra. I slid on my crocs and walked out the door.

"What the fuck" I mumbled walking into the boy's apartment. Shit was every where, it looked like somebody robbed the place but all the valuable stuff was still here. "Yo where y'all at" "we at the store why" "someone broke in" "huh" "nigga you heard me,somebody broke into y'all house and shit is everywhere" I told them. I was pacing back and forth. Shit like this makes me mad. And it had to be somebody he know. I hung up the phone and sat down on the couch.

Whoever did this shit I'm fuckin them up ong.

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Any of y'all wanna write my smut??