Into heart's very depths

No choice but fear

~ My POV ~
I reacted as fast as I could. I had sworn an oath on protecting Frodo Baggins, and I didn't mean to break it.
Not at all.
When he was grabbed and pulled back by one of the arms, I ran forward to cut it, but Aragorn was faster. He had heard Sam's call. (I put him there before this whole thing!) He was a great fighter, I had to admit it. The way he moved was special. 'Anariël!' His voice seemed to call for help. And I helped.
Together, we freed Frodo from the monster and led the company safely into the mines. At least we thought, it was safe.
Until the wall broke down behind us.

The wall broke down. 'We now have but one choice', I heard a voice from what seemed so far away. The way back was closed. At first, it was only the foreseeing of my own death under the earth scaring me, until the darkness reached out for my heart.
Such black places always remembered me of these lonely days, on which I sat there, crying out my eyes for all the mental pain I suffered, mostly caused by this destructive self-hate.
Trying to hold back upcoming tears, my hands automatically tried to grab the wall. Just anything to hold. Anariël of Mirkwood was not going to show any weakness, not while wandering around with nine men.
'Are you alright, mylady?', Gimli asked. 'Sure', I muttered.
No, I was not at all. The shadow above my mind was not going to possess me again. Hardly, I pushed away from the wall and ran directly into Aragorn. 'I am sorry, mylord, it was an accident.' He smiled at me softly, his light eyes sparkling in the dark. 'There is nothing to feel sorry for, Anariël.'
I always felt sorry. For everything. If this mission should fail, it would be my fault. If anyone of us ten died, I'd say it was my fault. I already knew.