Into heart's very depths

Heartbroken

~ My POV ~
There was too much feeling in me. And none of them was good. Mostly anger it was, filling my stomach, my mind, and freezing my heart to cold stone. Not even tears I was able to cry.
What Lady Galadriel just had told me, was a break in the life I was just trying to fix.
Thranduil was not my father. Indiriël and Legolas not my siblings. In fact, I was only adopted by them.
And you know why? Because my mother had powers over the air, and Thranduil did not want to have anyone in his kingdom with such great powers! So he thought: Let's banish them, so they can't get dangerous anymore, but I'll keep the daughter. Well, "Ada", whereever you are, let me tell you, it was not that easy, for Galadriel took my parents into her services. Soon after that, Idril was born. Vilya, my mother, took my dad and sailed to Valinor, but Idril stayed.
So, that was the story I got to know. She was not told like that, of course not, but it's the essence. I reacted like I always do when getting panic: Making ironic jokes and going totally mad.
And if I say totally, I mean totally. It was like the first time my heart had broken.

~ Flashback ~
"Yána!", I had been crying, tears streaming over my face. She was defending Kili, her face spilled with blood stains. I ran, ran, ran, as fast as my feet could carry me, but it was already too late.
The stroke fell and my best friend fell down, down, down, onto a rock. "Yána!", I cried again. She lay there, beside Kili, and stretched out her hand with the last strength that was given to her.
"I am gonna kill you, you filth!", I screamed louder than I ever had in all my life, and with all my fury, I really brought him down.
My sword shattered on the rock and I ran over to my best friends. There they lay, hand in hand, the faces full of blood, but love, smiling one last time.
"You are so brave, Anariël", Kili whispered, as I sat down next to him. "It was a pleasure to call you my friend..." The last word, he nearly swallowed, then took his last breathe. Yána's eyes were filled with her last tears, as now it was she turning towards me, never letting go of Kili's hand.
"Never forget what I said to you, mellon-nin. You are the best friend I ever met in all my long years. Use the life, that is given to you and whatever you do... Don't forget..." She coughed.
I pulled her head onto my knees and stroke through her hair. "Don't forget me...", Yána whispered. "Please."
And then, she as well, closed her eyes forever.