Into heart's very depths

Bleeding heart

~ My POV ~
We didn't wait. I was shocked when I heard about the fates of Boromir and the Hobbits. Especially another death shook my heart like a machine. Why? Why was their so much death? I cried. I cried almost a whole day long. But Aragorn was right, we had to move on. He comforted me and took me into his arms, and I sobbed at his shoulder. We were there for each other. Still, never ever we got so close again like in this one night.
The destination of our journey was Minas Tirith, the White City, for Pippin had been seeing it in the Palantir. With us rode the riders of Rohan. It was a long journey, so we decided to stop in the mountains. Gandalf and Pip had been already left, and I felt so useless. What could I do? The air felt cold and silent, and the horses were obviously anxious. Something dark was in the air.
I sat on a stone, alone, and was throwing smaller ones through the air. Suddenly, I heard a noise. It was Éowyn. Although this was absolutely mean, I decided to follow her. I had nothing do; and nothing to do. That's what I thought.
Aragorn. She was looking for him. And when she found him and I saw the look in her eyes, I immediately knew: I had only been one of many for him. How wrong I had been: There had been something to lose.
"So this was it", I whispered desperately and turned away. Sure, I should've known it. Run, just run away from the pain. I ran back to my horse, my eyes swimming with tears, but I didn't cry.
Just... Wanted to get away from here. Aragorn saw me and began running after me. "It is..." My heart was bleeding, like a knife sticking out of it. I felt like nearly getting unconscious. There was no sound I could hear.
I only saw his lips moving, but didn't care. "I know", I whispered. "I know." Before climbing my horse and finally leaving.

The journey was hard. I had to follow my instincts, for I didn't know the way. But not even my instincts worked correctly. The blood runnin' out of my heart was way too much, and so I didn't even recognize the days fading.
When I finally arrived in Minas Tirith, I was totally exhausted. The troops werde already taking their places on the towers. Battle was near, I could smell it in the air.
Still, the gates of the city were open.
A guard stood in front of them. "What's your desire?" "I want to defend the White City", I said. "By my death if I must." And I really meant it. I wanted to find death here.
There was nothing left for me. I missed Aragorn with everything in my body, but it was only a false desire. Never in all my life it had been so much pain at once. I hated myself, I hated the world, and above all, I hated my life. If I had been half-Elven, I'd probably choose a mortal life now and kill myself. But I wanted to fight for good once more before.
Suddenly, death seemed a good opportunity for me to go. "Mylady. Let me accompain you into the city", the guard said and I recognized it was a woman. A woman I knew. "Rána", I whispered, and before she could answer, I threw myseld into her arms. Rána's eyes opened widely. "Anariël", she answered. And old friend. Here. It was amazing. A tear ran down my face from happiness. "Show me the way, please."
She lead my into Minas Tirith, for - as she said - her guarding turn was over now.
I could feel the smell of fear in the air. The sky was darkening with every minute, and I already heard the dark forces far away.
"I am happy to have you here', Rána said silently, trying to smile, when we pushed ourselves through the soldiers to find a proper spot.
"Same over here." Yes. If I should die tonight, I wanted to know that there was someone to tell my brother.
We arrived the top of the wall.
And then, we saw the forces.