The Big Reveal

Chapter 28 | Advise

"Waiting for you at my apartment, love."

Miss Ombre's text sounded sweet enough, but I just wanted to escape. I wish I shouldn't have told her to meet me today. My mind is clouded. But, I cannot refuse Miss Ombre like that too. She could have probably taken out some time to see me. I'll have to go.

I made my way towards her address, which wasn't too far from Jungkook's apartment. My mind could burst anytime now, it's exhausting. It's not like I am disappointed in Jungkook for not loving me back, I never expected that. I will love him forever, I will find him attractive forever, but I don't want anyone to pity me.

Back in America, I barely interacted with my dad's friends' kids. They never initiated to meet us; even mom never met any of their wives. But, as soon as she died, everyone was too nice. It became too toxic.

That is when I asked dad, do you always have to lose something to make people treat you nicely? Can it not come without any cost?

Dad never replied. Not because he had no answer, but because he didn't want to tell me the bitter truth of this world.

"It will be okay, sweetheart," was all he said.

I walked to Miss Ombre's apartment. She opened the door with a wide smile, lightning a bit of my pain. Her apartment was even more spacious and posh than that of Jungkook's. The lounge was big enough to fit a hundred people together. She hugged me warmly and made me sit on the couch.

"How are you, my love?" she asks, pouring wine in the glass.

"I am good!" I lied.

She passed a suspicious look. "This is a mediocre answer, that didn't convince me even a little."

"I am absolutely great!" I said with an energetic tone.

She laughed and nodded.

My mood brightened up seeing her walking here and there. She is just so full of positivity. She hands me the glass of wine, which I gulp down, instantly, not realizing that I have to act normal.

"Hana, are you okay?" she asked, watching me, astonished.

"I am okay!"

"No. You are not."

Her eyes were scrutinizing me now. She kept her wine glass aside and held my hand.

"If there's something.."

"I think I am just a bit tired. Nothing else," I replied, assuring her with a fake smile.

"Oh, I am sorry Hana. I understand that you are very busy nowadays due to Jungkook's hectic schedule. If you are too tired, you can go home and rest."

Jungkook's hectic routine? Does Jungkook tell her everything?

"No, miss Ombre. I am not that tired. I am glad I could meet you today!" I smiled.

"I told you to come over whenever you want to. You're always welcome here, Hana."

From her words, I felt at home. I don't know if Miss Ombre pities me too, but her words are always genuine and kind. Just for once, I let this thought go away. It has been a long time since I talked to anyone.

{Two hours later}

"Can we have another shot, lastly?" I asked as Miss Ombre wiped her mouth with her handkerchief. The dinner was delicious, and to my surprise, Miss Ombre made it all herself. Just for me.

"Sure!" she almost screamed.

We grabbed our glasses again and poured each other some wine.

"Miss Ombre?"

"Hmm?" she said, looking at me.

"There's something that is troubling me, over and over." She places her glass on the table hearing my words.

"What is it?" She is clearly bothered.

"Umm, nothing to worry about, just you know random thoughts." Her expressions didn't change, just silence existed.

"Umm, it's just..,"

"Hana, I am not your mentor or manager or colleague or anything else, but just a friend who wants to hear you out. What's bothering you, sweetheart?"

I take a long breath, releasing it slowly.

"Can one pity you and love you at the same time?"

My question left her surprised. She nods slightly and smiles.

"This is out of the box."

"Just tell me from your personal experience. What do you think?" I said.

"Umm, okay.." Miss Ombre straightens herself. "If I am being honest, my answer would be between yes and no."

"Why?" I asked, almost immediately.

She just smiles and thinks looking at the wall clock.

"I just think pity is the first step towards love. When you feel compassion for someone, that's when you start thinking about them from a different perspective."

"But, it cannot always be that way," I shot back.

"For sure. Although every other relationship starts with care for each other, pity shouldn't be mixed with love. That's why I cannot say either yes or no. But, I believe, there's nothing wrong with starting a relationship with pity and care for each other."

"But, don't you think pitying someone makes you superior? Like though you care for them, but you are just considering their reason for suffering?"

Miss Ombre takes a deep sigh.

"Hana darling! It's like a wounded animal. When you see a wounded animal around you, the first thing you feel is not love, but compassion and sadness for it. You try your best to heal it until the animal is okay. Just within that process, you realize if you really want to let go of that animal or not."

"What if the wound is healed and you realize that you just cared for that animal, but not really loved it?"

My question left her silent again.

"Then obviously, it was just pity that you felt, not love. Love always accompanies Compassion, but Pity cannot always accompany love, darling."

I could see in her eyes how confidently she answered it. She was sure, and now I was too. It's either pity or it's love. You just cannot drag the two together. At a certain point, one feeling will vanish and when you realize it, it's too late.

I nodded as Miss Ombre sipped from her glass.

"Thank you, Miss Ombre. It helped me a lot," I said, gulping the last draught of wines and getting up to leave. "I'll leave now."

Miss Ombre is still sipping from her glass and is unresponsive as if she is lost somewhere and doesn't even realize my movement.

Umm, okay. I think I should just go.

I turned around, stepping closer to the door.

"Hana!" says Miss Ombre's inquiring voice, without turning. "Won't you answer one of my questions?"

I smiled. "What is it?"

She turns halfway and faces me.

"You will heal the animal's wound and then you'll let it go if you only pity It."

"Umm, yes."

"But what if the animal doesn't leave you? And instead of you, it starts loving you? Would it win the love of the caretaker?"

What?

I stood straight, expressionless as soon as I realized the hidden meaning in her example.

She looks for a minute and then smiles with a sound.

"Think about it. There can be multiple possibilities every time, my love!"

As my feet stepped out of the door, with Miss Ombre waving at me, the only thing I was trying to do was answer her question.

I don't really know.

But, I can find it.