The Big Reveal

Chapter 74 | Falling

[3 weeks later]

"I am glad we met here," I dragged my baggage out of the elevator. "It was so helpful for me."

Jenny smiles at me and cups my shoulder.

"Hana, you are a beautiful human being." Her voice is sweet and low. "You deserve so much in this life. Don't let your fear take over you."

"I certainly won't."

Jenny embraces me in a warm hug and it feels so comforting. I never knew that with the beautiful scenery of this island, I'll make friends too. And even to my advantage, Jenny is one of Seoul's best psychiatrists. The way she comforted me with her words was beautiful. I opened everything in front of her without a bit of hesitation and yes, she was surprised.

"Your life isn't a normal one, for sure."

I couldn't agree more. My life is an adventure. I would associate my last year as the most surprising one, but overall, my whole life has been a lie; layers and layers of it.

"You are definitely visiting me, back in Seoul, okay?"

I nodded and held her hand between mine.

"Thank you, Jenny. You are a blessing to humankind."

I hug her one last time and drag my baggage to the taxi. I never wanted to leave this place, it was so soothing. The lingering thoughts were finally settled in my mind, and I have been breathing quite a lot, ah.

I admire the beauty of the island through the window when the taxi stops at the airport. I pay him and excitedly walk towards the terminal. I miss dad so much now, but I am so glad he thought about this trip. I couldn't be more thankful to him for this.

[Evening- eight hours later]

"You look so much better, Hana." Dad's voice is as light as his hand's movement in my hair. My head rested gently on his thighs, while I read a food magazine.

"Umm.." he utters. I pick my head from his thighs and look up at him.

"Tell me already! You always change the topic whenever you want to say this."

He smiles at me. "You know me well, haha."

I bind my arms on my chest and wait for his nervous laugh to end. "Well, I was thinking about your job." I don't move even a little. "Are you going back?"

I pout and pretend to concentrate on my magazine.

"Hana, tell me?"

I take a sigh and close the magazine. It won't be wrong to say that I miss him. I miss how I prepared him for his events, I miss the boys, I miss the brightly lit lounge from their laughter, and I miss being their teammate. Each one of them has texted me a million times asking if I was doing fine, bet if I were in Seoul they wouldn't have left me alone, except Jungkook, of course. I appreciate how he understands me and never texted me.

"I haven't thought about that," I lied and he gazed at me as if my sentence was incomplete. "And if you have to think about it?"

"Yeah, the chances are zero."

"So, you aren't going back?"

"No." It was surprising how bluntly I said that. 'No' was always a hesitant word for me, but not this time. Dad just nods.

****************

I drove my car to the next grocery store. I have literally strolled through five of the stores by now, roaming around the whole city to find what I have been craving for a long; mayonnaise. It was always one brand in America for me, I never moved on from it and here, I can't find it.

The next grocery store is fifteen kilometers away and lies on the outskirts. I am hoping against hope to find it there, as it shows on its online store site. But thanks to this store, I got to see a bit of the warm beach on the side of the road.

I tap on my car's audiotape and turn on the radio. It has been a while since I have heard any songs. I have deleted every social media app from my phone, including the many pictures I didn't need anymore, because they always make me remember something.

The radio catches a signal and is anticipated by a woman's voice, who's greeting her 'radio fans'. She really seems happy.

"So, starting with the song requests today, we will take one request from an Indian fan.."

She stops, briefly. "Oh, it's a newly-released song."

My ears eagerly wait for the song to start, I need to hear some new music.

"So, I am playing 'Falling' by the soloist, Jungkook." I step on the break which makes me jerk forward and almost hit the steering wheel.

"It's the first time we are playing this music, as it was just released three days back. Let's enjoy it!"

My eyes are still on the windscreen when the piano beats cross my ears. My mind was forcing me to tap the tape, to stop it before it discloses something I shouldn't hear, but my heart.

Shit.

It's too late now.

🎧 Falling by Jungkook- (Plugin)

I'm in my bed

And you're not here

And there's no one to blame

But the drink in my wandering hands

Forget what I said

It's not what I meant

And I can't take it back

I can't unpack the baggage you left

What am I now? What am I now?

What if I'm someone I don't want around?

I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm falling

What if I'm down?

What if I'm out?

What if I'm someone you won't talk about?

I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm falling

You said you care

And you missed me too

And I'm well aware I write too many songs about you

And the coffee's out

At the Beachwood Cafe

And it kills me 'cause I know we've run out of things we can say

What am I now? What am I now?

What if I'm someone I don't want around?

I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm falling

What if I'm down?

What if I'm out?

What if I'm someone you won't talk about?

I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm falling

And I get the feeling that you'll never need me again

What am I now? What am I now?

What if you're someone I just want around

I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm falling

What if I'm down?

What if I'm out?

What if I'm someone you won't talk about?

I'm falling again, I'm falling again, I'm falling

His voice will be the death of me.

His words will be the death of me.

He shouldn't have done this...