The Big Reveal

Chapter 32 | Pen Down

Jungkook's diary

[02/13]

The old memory flashes in my mind, as soon as I see her.

The day she bumped into me, I knew she wasn't just anybody. Her voice left me shaking. How is this possible? How can she be standing here in front of me?

But,

She doesn't recognize me.

Not how people knew me today, but years before, when there was no existence of Jungkook. I won't lie, I was disappointed. But, I ran, before she could know. The gap between us has increased to uncertain heights.

[03/06]

The other time I saw her, I was trembling, though I masked it well. She was anxious and shivering. I stared at her to make her know what I wanted her to remember, but she never looked at me. I wish I was that model on the chair that she was working on; at least she would look at me. It ended up with me messing things, and getting out my anger on her that was buried inside me for years. I wish it ends here and we never meet again, but I don't want to stop looking at her. It's better not to reveal myself and not open new doors for her. I may be guilty of my anger at her, but I hope this is the end, and we never meet again.

[03/07]

She comes to my house, dressed up cutely. But again, she was even more attracted to Namjoon hyung than me. She isn't looking at me again. How can I make her comfortable and tell her I am not who she thinks. She read the contract and I just wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked while doing that. But, she doesn't sign it. So, I stood up and signed it before her eyes, and offered her to sign it, but she didn't do that. So, I made sure she brings it with her tomorrow- signed.

[03/08]

She is working on me. The way she swung down the hair strings, that I purposely kept there, from her light fingers made my heart flutter. She is just not beautiful, but she has polished her skills to the best. I always knew this, whenever I used to think about her. But the point that she still doesn't recognize me wants me to wretch my heart out. I won't tell her, she has to remember. How can she forget?

When she slides into the car, sitting in front of me, I blindly scroll on my phone to avoid looking at her. She is uncomfortable. I wish I could arrange a whole car for her, so she is at peace. And then, the first contact she made, clutching my thighs. I expected it to be something better than this, but I can go with it. I just wanted to kick everyone out and make her choose her favorite seat, but I couldn't. She wants to go by bus. I want her to be comfortable any way she wants to be. So, she gets out of the car, leaving me concerned. I stopped Yoongi from driving. How can she stand there all alone? I never left her alone; never will I leave her alone. We just wait. I can wait a million years, but this world-

[03/10]

Namjoon is calling her again and again. I want to destroy that little device from his hand. What if she is sleeping? I know she hates being called up when she is taking a nap. I just want her to sleep calmly.

She comes, suddenly. I wish Mom didn't call me to meet so that I could spend the night looking at her. I refuse her, as quickly as I could, so she doesn't question me. But woah woah woah, she is angry. I missed her anger. More than her affection, I loved when she used to get angry. But her next words make me want to kill myself. Am I making her uncomfortable? How can i-? At that brink, I wanted to tell her who I was. I was so close to her, I wanted to kiss her, out of my anger. The point of her leaving her job makes me terrified. I cannot part again from her.