The Big Reveal

Chapter 72 | Forgive, Forget

I push him one last time and walk towards the wall. My hand approaches the biggest poster of his and I pull it from one of the corners. Without looking back, I pull another poster and it tears apart amidst the pulling, dividing his face into two parts.

I didn't care and kept on doing it. One by one, I pull his posters and pictures from the wall, tearing half of them. He doesn't say a word or even stop me from doing it, but stands silently. When I pulled half of the things and my arms ached, I turned back to him. I can see a tear dropping down from his eyes. I hate it.

"You are not anywhere, now," I say, looking into his eyes. He sobs, but doesn't say anything for long. We stand silent with so much distance between us, not of our bodies, but our minds and thoughts. Finally, he cleans his face from his wrist and walks toward me. I open my mouth to stop him, but surprisingly, he walks past me and then, to the wall. He raises his hand that almost reaches the top-most poster on the wall and pulls it off. He keeps on doing it and takes all the pictures off the wall, even the ones in which we are together. After a minute, the wall stands blank and all of the pictures are on the ground, at our feet. He turns his face towards me.

"I don't deserve to stay here either, in your room." He moves the torn posters with his feet and tosses them around. "I don't complain, because this is what I deserve. I can never pay for your loss..." He rolls his tongue on his lips and lets out a sarcastic laugh. "Thank you for bearing me up till now."

I am nibbling on my inner cheek and trying to hold my tears back. He silently walks towards the door and walks past me and his shoulder hits mine, with his fingers lightly brushing mine. His body was solid, the sensations of his skin against mine and his scent were intoxicating. I stand still for a second and turn towards the door, he has gone.

I gulped down and when I was about to break into an ugly cry, he appeared again holding my oxygen cylinder and the cannula in his hands. He stands close and places the cylinder on the ground.

"If you'll go away," he places the cannula in my nose and I hold it, our hands briefly holding each other. "I'll forget to live." He placed the tubes behind my ears and made sure the cannula was perfectly fit. He presses his hands on my shoulders and I sit on the bed beside him. "And if it's because of me," he shifts the cylinder to my side table and lies me down on the bed. "I swear I'll die."

Instead of leaving right away, he stares at me for a moment, standing on my head, and then makes his way towards the door.

He turns for one last time, before closing the door

"Forget about me. Forget I even exist."

And then, he closes the door after him.

***************

"How was your dinner, dad?" I asked him while beating the egg in the bowl. My body feels so much better now, although my mind is storage of rummaging thoughts.

"Hmm, it was good." He says across the lounge while reading the newspaper. "Though, everybody has changed quite a bit now. Distance makes everything awkward."

Yes, it does.

I pour the egg onto the heated pan and it sizzles almost immediately. My appetite has died, but dad won't let me live until I eat. I put the scrambled egg on the plate and picked up the glass of orange juice, sitting on the counter that dad made me. I walk and sit on the couch, right in front of him. His newspaper lies on the table and is replaced by one of his books.

I blindly scroll down my Twitter, not even considering a word, and eating my egg side by side.

"Hana?"