Y/N and the Avengers

No matter what

You were home again and finally felt a bit better. "Home... but is it still my home?", you asked yourself. No one had said a word about the incident and every time you started to talk about it, they changed the topic.

"Hey, y/n", someone said from behind. You were standing in the kitchen, the fridge open and staring into emptiness. Turning around you realized that it was Clint, who greeted you.
"Hey", you said in almost a whisper. "I think you can close it, it won't refill like that." "What?" You turned around again and realized that the fridge was still open and empty. "Oh..." After closing it, you sat down.
"Natasha is in the store, just wait a bit and you can grab something again", Clint said with a little laugh. "Natasha?" "Yeah", he nodded and laughed, "couldn't believe it myself first." A little smile crossed your lips. "How are you?", he asked and drank a little out of his mug. "I am okay. But... how are you? How is everyone else?" "We are fine, don't worry! By the way, this coffee is pretty good, want some?" "Uhm... sure", you nodded and watched him making coffee.
"Why is no one talking with me about what happened?" Clint froze for a few seconds until he kept going with making coffee. "Please, it's driving me crazy. I feel awful." He turned around and sighed. "Don't you think we all should just forget about it?" You shook your head slowly. "Fine... What do you want to talk about?" "Tell me the truth, how is everyone?"
Clint sighed again but spoke after a short silence: "We don't really know how to get along with you, to be honest. Barnes said that we should be like we always are, so we try to do that, but you know, things happened. We can't forget that." "I know... I am so sorry about that. I knew all this was a bad idea. I should have-" "No, y/n. You're thinking the wrong way. Yes, it's difficult for us. Yes, this is kinda new for us. Yes, bad things happened and will happen. But no, we don't want you to leave. And neither do we want to leave you, alright? So get this out of your head. Things will be easier again, trust me." A tear ran over your cheek and dropped down on your thigh. "And don't forget that you saved me", he said, handing you the finished cup of coffee. "Well, I didn't really save you. I just lowered the danger that I was to you." "So, you saved me." "I just-" "Saved me, yes." You sighed. "You're not the soldier, y/n. You are you. The soldier attacked me, but you saved me, okay?" "Well, I am both." "No, you're not. Hydra implemented the soldier into you. That's different. It's nothing you became by yourself, it's just a Virus in your head that you need to get rid of." You sighed again. "Thank you." "Ah, not for that. It's simply the truth."
While Clint had already finished his coffee you still slowly drank from it. "Come on kid, you ready for some training?" Your eyes widened and Clint just laughed and stood up. The coffee was still half full but you didn't want to miss the training so you ran after him after another sip.

"Fuck this...!", you swore. "Don't be harsh to yourself, it's been a while since our last training." "Come on, you are just happy that you are way better right now", you scoffed. He laughed and handed you another arrow.
The focus was all alone on the bow and arrow in your hand, you closed your eyes for a second, took a deep breath, looked at your target again, and shot. "See? Told you you just need a little warmup." The arrow had landed right in the middle of the target. You did it. And as soon as you realized your confidence came back. "Ha! You have a competitor again, Clint! I will be better than you, you'll see!" "Sure", he laughed. "I see old times coming back", Natasha said from behind and Clint smiled, but you wondered what she meant with that. "Ready for our training?", Natasha asked. "Already? But I am not fully-" "I know. We will take it slow, don't worry." She smiled and you looked over to Clint who just nodded so you followed Natasha.

"That's not, that's-", you began but were so out of breath that you couldn't continue. With your hands on your sides, you leaned a bit forward and let your head drop a little. Natasha on the other hand was far away, now running in place and looking at you. "You coming?", she called. "Funny!", you yelled back. "Thought you... spare me." She laughed and yelled a "Never!" back. Your head began to hurt and some images of you being pretty much out of shape and trying to keep up with her shot into your mind. Slowly you sat down and held your head.
A few seconds later Natasha was next to you and asked: "Hey, what's wrong? Are you okay?" "Yeah... yeah... it's just, it's nothing actually. My head just hurts." "Did you remember something?" "I'm not too sure", you said, took a deep breath and told her what you saw. "I think you remembered the time you began working here. You were pretty... ambitioned to keep up, let's say it like that." "I see. Well... Let's keep going now, I already feel better", you lied. Your headache was still pretty bad but the voice in your head, telling you you're useless if you didn't finally get better was loud and annoying, so you had to follow it. "Are you sure? You can just go back, I mean you are still injured." "No, no no. I'm okay. Don't worry", you said and smiled at her. She watched you standing up and running.
After a few seconds, she followed you. "You don't have to run slow." "I just prefer this right now", she replied and gave you a weak smile. You knew that she was just trying to slow you down a little which just made you angry. It felt like she was making fun of you. You took all your energy and ran as fast as possible, leaving Natasha a little behind. "Slow down", she called but you ignored her. You needed to get better - be better. "Y/N Y/L/N! Stop already!", she commanded and so you slowed down and eventually stopped.
"Go back to your room." "What?" "That's a command, go back to your room. Now." "Copied", you said irritated and left her behind.