Y/N and the Avengers

The things you don't know

When you woke up Bucky lay next to you, his back against yours. You wanted to turn around and cuddle but since the circumstances were a bit difficult, you let it be and focused on the warmth of his back and the subtle movements you could feel coming from him.
This time you had slept way better, still haunted by nightmares you only dreamed about Hydra looking out for you and trying to catch you but luckily you could always escape.

Bucky began to move a lot more now. "Bucky. Hey, Bucky. Wake up. Bucky!", you said getting louder and he finally woke up, sitting straight now and looking at you in terror.
You sat up as well and were worried about what he had dreamt this time, he was panting and sweating a lot. "It was just a nightmare Bucky", you said low.
Suddenly he pulled you close and hugged you tight. It startled you a little but you didn't let it show. "It's okay Bucky...", you whispered and caressed his back, "It was just a nightmare." You heard a sob and a few very quiet sniffs.
"Bucky, hey, it's alright. Nothing happened while you were asleep. Everything's fine." But you knew better. He had probably dreamt about killing someone like you did so often lately. And just because it didn't happen while you were asleep, it didn't mean you hadn't done it. Bucky must have felt the same. He squeezed you even more now so you were a little scared he could break any bones with it but you knew he wouldn't actually do it so you trusted him, hoping he wasn't too much in his mind and still noticing his environment.
Putting your hand up to the back of his head, you stroked gently through his hair and eventually the squeezing lessened and he let go.
You looked at a still frightened and sad man who just tried to get himself together so you placed your hand on his cheek, waiting for and with him to let this nightmare pass. While waiting you caressed his cheek with your thumb gently.

After a while he grabbed your hand and placed it in his, studying it like he was seeing something interesting.
"Do you want to talk about it?", you asked him softly.
It took him a while until he took a deep breath and began: "I... I was at Hydra and they were wiping me again. They used me like they've done it years ago... after killing several people and... destroying... so many families, my next target...", he was close to crying, "my target was... it was you. And inside I yelled at myself to leave, but I didn't. I could only watch killing you..."
Now it was you who pulled him into a hug.
"Nothing happened to me, see? I'm alive and I know you wouldn't kill me. Everything is okay. I am fine", you whispered reassuringly. Bucky gave you a little squeeze before he ended the hug and his gaze met the coffee mess. "I better go and get some stuff to clean this", he said after clearing his throat. You nodded and he left. Wondering if he needed a distraction or just wanted to leave, you waited for him to come back.

The door opened and he had some cleaning stuff in his hands. "Just put it down wherever you want", you said but he shook his head. "No, I'm gonna clean it real quick", he said and blocked the cleaning things every time you got closer.

When he had finished and the stuff was gone again, he sat down next to you on your bed. "Want to tell me what happened there?" "The coffee harassed me, I thought I'd show him who the boss is, you know?" You both laughed. "No, but for real." "I remembered something. And I think it was about Natasha but... I don't know. There is a person but I can't recall who it is, I can't 'see' them. You know what I mean? It's so blurry. But deep down I know it was Nat." "I see... I'll take down Hydra one by one if I have to", he growled. "You know they will just rebuild it again... You won't achieve anything. But if you want... we could have a little training fight. I can't stand sitting with my feelings right now. I have to do anything. And don't spare me." Bucky thought about it but agreed in the end.

You both were standing in front of each other and since Bucky didn't make a move, you started.
You threw a punch in his direction but he dodged it, grabbing your arm, but you kicked him, grabbed his arm and pulled it down so he let go.
Bucky tried to sweep away your feet with his leg but you jumped over it and he grabbed your foot, letting the gravity pull you down. You landed on your back which hurt a lot and you were unable to breathe for a few seconds. Bucky was worried but you waved him away.
Coughing you stood up again, indicating a punch so he tried to dodge it but the real punch came with your other fist which hit him. "I thought you're right-handed?", he asked confused because your fake punch was with the right one. "Yeah. Still am. Doesn't mean I cannot fight with my left", you said smirking and he scoffed.