Y/N and the Avengers

Lost

"Y/n, it's not real, come with me." "No, I... it's a trap, Q. If we both go we're doomed." Q grabbed your arm and pulled you with her but a few meters in, you got rid of her grip.
"I can't."
"But what you saw wasn't real and what you see here is not real either. How do you think I can be here?" Q gestured at her body.
"I know you're not really here. But I know that Hydra got us, Q. They got us. And if we both go to them, we die. I die and you get hurt." A tear rolled down Q's face. "Y/n, how can you be so dumb? How can you be so stubborn?" She felt helpless and all she wanted was for you to be safe but you were so much against it that she couldn't help.
"I'm not dumb. Q, don't you understand? I will die if we go in the same direction." "Nothing you say makes sense, don't you get that? This whole thing makes no sense. Nothing makes sense." "How do you know that your reality is real? How do you 100% know it's not a trap?" "I...", Q stopped, you had a point. Things were going way too well.
Everything that happened could have been directed by her feelings. She was scared Bucky would do something and he did. She wanted to be with him and she ended up with him. It didn't make sense as well to her now. She wasn't a lucky person and this was luck.
Bucky was luck.
"You... you're right", she said low. "See? This whole thing... Hydra is manipulating us. Using us. Like they used to." Q couldn't believe that all she ever wanted should be a lie. "No, it...", she shook her head while talking, "it's not true. We left. We got away. We're free." "Sure about this?" Q stepped back and ran away. She didn't know where but it didn't matter at this point.

But where she ended up suddenly did matter and as soon as she realized she couldn't leave the room anymore. The man grabbed her arm and shoved her against the wall, his disgusting smell was filling her nose and he got down her body with his hand. His lips moved along her neck.
She froze.
Felt helpless.
"Not again...", she whimpered and he looked at her face smiling. "You're cute, you know that? But you should talk less."
Anger rose in her.
She had enough.
Her knee rushed up and hit him between his legs which led him to fall to the ground whimpering.
She was scared yet angry and ran.
But the door was locked.
"No, no, not again." Q turned around and the man was slowly standing up again.
"Fuck... open up, please just open up." He got closer, she could hear his steps. "Помоги мне! (Help me!)", she yelled as loud as she could. "No one's going to help you, you little slut!", he yelled, grabbed her hair, and pulled her down to the ground. "Y/n, please! Help me! Help me!"
The man was kicking and letting out his anger on her. "Y/n!", Q yelled crying. "It's not real...", she tried to tell herself but it didn't help her to get out of the situation. "Stop!", Q yelled but just got kicked in the face and warm blood was running out of her nose.
The door burst open and someone yelled: "Leave! Now!"
The man stopped and it was quiet for a few seconds. "You want to join? But you're not my type. Too annoying." Q looked at the door. "Y/n..."
Slowly she got up and wiped away the blood. "Either you leave or we will kill you. It's two well-trained soldiers against a stupid one. Who do you think will win?" The man turned back to Q, his face angry but defeated.
Without a word, he left and you rushed to Q. "Are you okay?", you asked worried, and looked at her from top to bottom. "I think so", Q said low and you dropped to your knees. "Are you okay?" "I... God, that was scary. Was I convincing? Well, yeah, he wouldn't have left otherwise but... oh god. I did it. He left." A smile appeared on your face. "I could finally help you in this mess... I'm so sorry you had to get through all this..."
"It's okay, but we have to get back. Let's leave this nightmare behind." "I can't... I don't..." "Wasn't this enough proof? What else do you need?" "I just..." "You won't die, I'll make sure of it. I promise. Y/n, I promise nothing will happen." You took a deep breath. "I can't..."
Q grabbed your arm and ran out of the room with you. "Show me where he is", she commanded. "Who?" "Bucky, the team, you know what I mean. Where are they?" "Well... but they will..." "Show me."

Q followed you until you entered a board game evening in the tower.
Hesitantly you stepped closer and then turned to Q.
"There they are! Finally!", Tony exclaimed. Confused you faced him. "They?", you asked. "Yeah, you and Q. Who else do you think I mean?", he asked and laughed.
Q walked up next to you and took your hand. "I told you it doesn't make sense", she said but you shook your head. Getting closer you noticed they finished playing. "Are you okay?", Bucky asked. "I...", you just got out and grabbed Peter's arm because for you it looked like he was about to stab you. You turned his arm around so the knife was slightly against his throat. "Put that away, y/n. You don't have to do this", Natasha said but you pressed the knife even more against it. "I'm not... it's..." "Y/n, hey... it's us. You're safe." You moved the knife away and pushed Peter aside. You could hear a loud gasp and Tony's blasters powering. Looking to the side you saw Peter's lifeless body. "I didn't... meant to... I..."
Throwing the knife away Clint got stabbed in his chest. "What...?", you asked low. "Don't move", Tony ordered and shot at you, but you dodged and it got directed back at him, which caused a malfunctioning of his suit and shocked him. "Y/n... stop already...", Bucky said shocked.
Natasha got closer and began to fight you but she had no chance and eventually fell unresponsive to the ground, not breathing. "Nat... no... I..." "Y/n, please. Don't make it worse. You almost killed everyone already", Bucky said. You wanted to hug him but there was a knife in his body suddenly.
"I didn't do that... I..." "It's okay, y/n. I love you... I know it's not you..." Q walked closer. "Q, I didn't do that. I didn't mean to. I wasn't-" "I know. I told you it doesn't make sense. You could do whatever and it would end in the same way."
You were still holding him when a gun appeared in your hand. "Don't end it", Q said and watched your hand closely which was shaking. "Bucky... I... I never deserved any of this... I never deserved you... I did so much harm... and I killed you... Oh god..." You studied the gun a little and your gaze wandered to Bucky and back to the gun right after.
"Y/n, don't", Q commanded. "I have to die..." "Y/n, you're back in that part again. But it's fake. It's fake, y/n." "I'm so sorry...", you held the gun closer to your head but Q grabbed your hand and lowered it. "It's fake. Bucky is alive. It's just a dream", Q whispered and tried to loosen your grip on the gun. "Bucky..." "Yes, he's waiting for you. Outside. In reality. Come let's say goodbye to this Bucky together."
Your hands were scooping his face now. "Goodbye my love", you whispered and tears rushed down. "Я тебя люблю... Пока", Q said because it felt all just too real. Even though she was 98% sure, these 2% scared her of being wrong, therefore she wanted to use some meaningful words to say goodbye to him.
"Let's leave", Q said and you both got up slowly. You looked traumatized and your eyes were watery. "It's not real", Q said again and pulled you with her.

You arrived at your room, the one where you helped Q for the first time.
Now it was her turn.
You sat down on the couch and she lay a blanket around your shoulders carefully.
After she turned on the TV she gave you a cup of tea. "Peppermint", she said smiling, "I'll never forget that, Bucky always makes it for me and I never even liked it." She laughed and you joined her slightly.
"He's there...?", you asked hesitantly. "He is. And he's waiting for us. We got a present from him a few days ago... but you have to see it yourself when you wake up." "So... if you are right... I missed out on a lot then, hm..?" "Yeah. Definitely." You sighed.
"Alright... I'm ready...", you said and stood up. Q hugged you one last time and nodded assuring. "It's alright. He'll be happy to see you, believe me." "Thank you", you said.

Opening your eyes you found yourself laying in Q's room and stood up. Carefully you walked into the common room where Natasha, Bucky and Steve sat worried on the couch. They thought they had lost you.
Even though Steve had tried to assure Bucky you were alright, he didn't believe himself. But as soon as he noticed you, you felt a mix of shock, relief and happiness wash over him.
"Q", he said and the other two looked at you. Bucky stood up and almost fell over but he found his balance and pulled you into a tight hug.
"Oh god, I love you so much, please never do that again... I thought I lost you..." "I... I thought I lost you", you said and began to cry. He pulled back and wiped away your tears.
"Why? What happened?" "I... I killed all of you over and over again... I'm a monster, I... shit I shouldn't-" You stepped back and were about to run away but Bucky grabbed your arm so you couldn't leave. "Stay. Whatever you saw... it wasn't real. You didn't hurt us." "He's right, y/n", Natasha said but Bucky wasn't even surprised.
"I thought you left me...", he whispered and a tear fell down.
"I could never...", you said with a sad smile.