Lost Alpha

Journal January 4, 2024

Nat has been staying with me for the last couple of days. He does not want to be at home right now. Max is sitting on his doorstep waiting to be forgiven and Nat can't deal with that right now.

All I can do for my bestie is to hold him when he cries and take care of him. He is in my nest right now and looks like a little worm with a Nat face. I gave him kitty and then wrapped him up in my softest blanket. I make sure he sleeps and eats and is not idle. Mostly I hold him while he cries these heart-wrenching sobs that sound like they come from the bottom of his soul.

I know I should not make this about me, but I feel responsible. Because of my selfishness, Nat does not have an alpha anymore and my besties were hurt. Nat tried to tell us, but all I cared about was keeping Strawberry a secret. Because of me, Nat is going through the worst trial of his life, and I can't do anything to help him.

James has gone dark. We don't know what he is thinking or how he is. While he was in custody, Max arranged to have a new door installed. James should be safe, but I worry that he does not feel safe. Mom is going to give me a ride over to his house. We will bring him back with us if he is unwell.

Ω

Just got back from going to visit James. You will never believe what we found. James has a semi-permanent visitor taking care of him. Remember the beta from NYE, Net? He has not left James' side since everything happened. Apparently, they are both smitten kittens and have been ordering takeout and have not left the house in three days. That is what I call a sexcation.

That does not mean James is okay, but it is not the dark pit of despair that I thought it was. For now, James is taking a leave from work and wants to stay in his bubble with Net a little longer. Then he will face Nat, and decide what to do about Max.