Lost Alpha

Event February 12, 2024

It is eleven in the morning. The call with Nat ended about an hour ago. Everyone carried on with their day. Film and Max had their heads together discussing something. Mom is washing the dishes and Dad is drying. I am feeling restless. Now that I know Zee could be here within days, I find the days to be endless.

I wander down the hall open the door to my room and sprawl in my nest. I check my email, go on social media, and get caught in an Instagram death scroll that I snap out of when I hear Max let out a loud whoop. I pause to see if anything else happens, but nothing does. Strawberry goes crazy. It's like she is playing the drums in there. I have a feeling I am not going to get a calm child like Zee. My phone pings. I have a text message.

"Nhu, it's Zee. Can you talk?"

I stare at the phone. My lower lip starts trembling. I wipe tears that have begun to fall. I have been waiting for this moment for so many months. What am I doing? Answer him you fool.

"Yes."

My phone rings. I answer it.

"Hello?", I say.

"Hey, baby.", Zee says.

Please don't start balling NuNew. Hold it in. You can do it.

"Hia, where have you been? Hia.", I ask.

Damn it, I am crying now.

"I'm coming home, baby. I am so sorry. I am coming home, and I am going to take care of everything. Okay? Baby?, Zee says.

"Hiccup! Mm. Hm.", I say.

"Nhu, are you crying?"

"Mm. Hm."

"How are you? How is Strawberry?"

I put him on speaker so Strawberry can hear his voice.

"You're on speaker Hia. Say hi to your daughter."

"We are having a girl?"

"Mm. Hiccup."

He doesn't say anything for a good ten seconds. I hear him take a shaky breath.

"Hello Little Strawberry. It's Daddy.

I swear to God, I feel her kicking like crazy.

"She is kicking, Zee. She hears you."

"Nhu, I can't wait to see you and our little girl."

"You can't?", I ask.

"Yes, baby. Of course, I have waited so long to have you. We may have done this a little backward, but I don't care."

I can't talk because I am sobbing. The relief I feel is indescribable. You don't know how much you are really worrying about something until you get good news, and your body lets go of all that fear and worry like a dam rupturing, and the feelings you compartmentalized and held at bay release with an unstoppable force.

"Don't cry baby. Don't cry when I can't be there to hug you and kiss it better. I am so sorry sweetheart, my Teerak. I promise, if you will have me, I will never leave your side again. Can you wait a little bit longer?", Zee asks.

"Ye..ye..yes. Hiaaaa...Your coming home? For real?"

"Yes, baby. I am in Bamako right now at an internet café. I get on a flight in a couple of hours to Paris."

"When will you be home.", I ask.

"Tomorrow or the day after.", Zee says.

"I'm going to be a father.", Zee says.

He starts giggling. We both start laughing. It is the best sound I have ever heard in my entire life.

"Did you get my letter?"

"Yes.", he says softly.

"What you said in that letter Nhu. I will never forget that letter for the rest of my life. I found out I was going to be a father, that you loved me, and that you were dying without me. I was shocked worried, and happy. I would have stolen the 4x4 and driven off alone as soon as I read it if not for stranding the project team in the middle of the desert.", Zee says.

"Did you get my emails?", I ask.

I had a suspicion that someone was messing with his email.

"What emails Teerak?", Zee asks.

I knew it.

"Hia, I sent you so many emails while you were gone all about Strawberry. You sure you did not get any?"

"Positive Nhu."

"Did you get my email?", he asks.

"You sent me an email?", I ask.

My entire body is shaking. This entire time I thought he had forgotten about me and left. Or he was ghosting me. If he contacted me before he left, that would change everything. It would be another huge knot in my heart that I can untangle.

"Yeah, before I left. So, you got nothing?", Zee asks.

"Nothing, Hia. You just disappeared without a trace."

He says nothing for a long time, and I realize he is crying, somewhere all by himself, in some internet café, surrounded by strangers, and my heart hurts for him.

"Hia, you're coming home. None of that matters anymore. Come home safe to us, we can figure out what happened later. Okay! I still have all the emails in my sent folder. Do you want me to resend them so you can read them?", I ask.

"Hia?"

"Yes, but to a different account. I am sending you the information."

"Can you send me the email you wrote?"

He is quiet again.

"Hia?"

"It's gone Nhu. I swear I wrote it, but I can't find it anywhere. It's not in drafts or the sent folder.", Zee says.

"We will find it Hia. I believe you wrote it Teerak. I am so relieved to hear your voice. I can't wait to see you."

We talked until he needed to leave for his flight. I tell him about all the tea he missed while he was gone. He tells me about the amazing people he met. He asks me about his parents. He makes me send him a selfie of his pregnant omega. He sends me a selfie. He looks so tan and mysterious. He keeps telling me how sorry he is. Especially after he sees my selfie. He tells me he loves me and Strawberry. I told him I would say it back only after he came home.

Poor Hia. I did not have the heart to tell him everything. I don't want him to be alone flying across the world with all of that weighing on his heart.