LOVE AND DEATH, edward cullen

thirty

━━ love and death. (2024)
edward cullen x fem!oc
chapter thirty

My back was firmly pressed against the wall — like I was a deer mounted up as a trophy to show off. I couldn't move my arms or my legs, not even my fingers could twitch at my sides but my eyes couldn't seem to close either. I was being forced to stare out into the empty room.

There was only one spot of sunlight coming from a small window towards the ceiling. The beam was shining directly over me like a spot light — the rest of the room completely black. I couldn't make out where I was or who I was possibly with.

I wanted to call out to someone and ask if they could see me — maybe even help me down, but my voice was trapped inside my throat and I couldn't even make a sound.

Someone or something made the wooden floor creek beneath their feet. I could locate the sound coming from in front of me, way back into the darkness where I couldn't see.

I squinted — forcing my head to lift up but an invisible strength was keeping me from moving completely.

That same something a second ago now laughed at me. A deep chuckled laughter that caused the hairs on my arms to stand up straight. I recognized that voice — the taunting behind it that made me feel incredibly ill at the pit of my stomach.

James came out from the shadows, still wearing the same outfit I remembered him in from before, and his blonde hair slicked back in a ponytail.

I tried my hardest to flinch and pull at whatever restraint that was holding me back. I opened my mouth to let out a gut-wrenching scream in hopes someone could hear it but nothing came out.

The fearful tears flooded my vision as James stalked closer to me, his figure becoming more visible by the single beam of light in the room.

Help me. Help me. Help me.

Something else emerged from the shadows and I quickly recognized it to be Edward. I wanted to cry out to him and beg for his help — beg for forgiveness over whatever I could've done that pushed him away if it meant he would save me.

He stood there staring at me — watching me sob silently like someone had muted a movie on the tv. No sound could be heard and I immediately started wishing for this nightmare to be over quickly.

Edward — he didn't care. I was trapped and begging to be set free — to be saved from the very monster that almost killed me in the first place.

James got closer and closer until suddenly he wasn't James anymore. It was Edward now in his place, staring up at me with dark eyes and pupils blown so wide that it indicated he hasn't eaten in a while. At least that's what I could remember him explaining to me once before — when vampires see or smell something that they want, their senses change and that animal instinct overcomes them.

He was going to kill me — Edward was going to kill me.

I tried to scream again as loudly as I could. To the point I swore a tear was forming inside my throat by the amount of force I was using to be heard.

Suddenly the scenery was changing and my eyes were forced open, a firm grip shaking my shoulder roughly to pull me out of my sleeping state.

I grabbed the hand and forced it away from me in panic, but settled almost immediately when I realized it was Charlie trying to help me from my lucid dream.

"Pen! Aspen!" He yelled sternly, both hands up in defense when I tried to shove him away.

"I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry," I panicked, sitting up in bed while wrapping my arms tightly around myself like a shield.

My dad's face twisted with heartbreak, his head dropping briefly before carefully taking a spot on the edge of my bed. He dragged his hand down his face before speaking. "I heard you screaming — you screamed his — " he started to shake his head then sighed in defeat. "Scared the hell out of me, Pen."

I pulled my knees up to my chest and visibly frowned, looking down at my purple comforter. "Sorry dad, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay," he quickly assured me. "It's been awhile since you've been like this — I thought maybe the medicine was starting to work."

I glanced over my shoulder at the nightstand next to my bed. The orange bottle of pills staring at back at me. "It does work. I sleep through the night — "

" — But it doesn't help with the nightmares."

I slowly nodded my head. "Yeah."

Charlie cautiously reached over and placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder before giving it a small squeeze. "Maybe we should talk about getting you out of Forks for a while. Go and visit your mother — "

"No." I stopped him sternly then lowered my voice to a more softer tone immediately after. "No, I'm fine. I just need time."

I could see him nodding his head understandingly beside me. "I know what it's like, you know. When your mom left me. I had a hell of a time. Imagined doing all kinds of crazy things, just to stop the pain."

I purposely avoided his gaze. Any time I caught him looking over old photos of their marriage or holiday dinners with me and Beau, I could see his pained expression every time. Charlie was really good at hiding how he felt — maybe a little bit too good, but every now and then I could catch a glimpse of it when he thinks nobody is watching.

"You came back the other day after visiting Julie and seemed like you were in a decent mood. Did you get to see Embry?"

I nodded my head and reached up to rub my eyes tiredly. "Yeah, a few of us were hanging out and eating pizza. It was kind of nice — even Beau was there."

"That's good." He hummed. "Really good. You and your brother should be spending more time together — bonding — and what not. You're both fighting similar battles."

I looked over at Charlie and released a small sigh. "Dad, I'm really tired. I should try to go back to bed."

"Right, you're right." He bobbed his head and slowly got off my bed to stand up. "But if you can't just — give me a shout, i'll come running."

I briefly smiled up at him knowingly. "You always do."

"Sweet dreams kiddo." He left my room and softly closed the door behind him.

My smiled faltered and I got up from my bed, walking towards my window to stare out into the woods. It's was quiet out there — unbelievably quiet but knowing that brought me some comfort.

But even if it was silent — I couldn't shake the feeling that maybe someone or something was watching me, just like in my dream.

Something was out there the past few nights and I could sense an uncertainty in myself that made me feel nervous. I wasn't sure how to address it yet or maybe I should act oblivious by ignoring it.

Whatever it was — it would disappear over time, just like everything else does.