Hope. [COMPLETED]

Chapter Twenty-Seven.

Blaze's POV.

It was official i was in love with Levi Rivers. 

It was his birthday today and i text him saying happy birthday and that i'll be over later. Which he replied with.

Thank you baby, see you later:) x

I couldn't stop smiling. 

To be honest I think i was getting better, i wasn't having as many nightmares as i would. I haven't cut in a while, now all that there is, is white scars. Whenever i had this urge to do cut I would think about Levi or my nan how i was living because I was important in their lives, i mattered.

I come to realisation that I was worth living, and that my mum will always and forever be in my heart. 

I stared at the Anns Summer bag that Dante brought over the other day. I haven't dared to look inside it yet but I had to admit this was causing some serious butterflies. I picked up the bag and and put it on my bed.

"Oh god oh god." I paced up and down. I brought my hands up to my face and stared at them while i pulled at my lip. "Just do it." I said to myself.

I pulled out the black lingerie and my jaw dropped. I checked the sizes and they were the right size. What how the hell did he find them out? I was pretty blessed in the boob department and bum. 

I locked my door so nan couldn't barge in. Once I done it, i quickly undressed and put on the lingerie. 

I think my eyes fell out of their sockets, my boobs were pushed up and the knickers were practically thongs which were highly uncomfortable but reached up to my belly button. It had like high socks that came up mid thigh and like clips which connected the knickers to the socks. 

I was skinny skinny like i didn't have abs, but i thought i was an okay sight. I saw the look of my scars on my thighs which were very visible. No one knew about my thighs. I quickly grabbed my dressing gown and shoved it on. 

I didn't know what to get Levi, so i got him a load of art supplies because his art is amazing. I want him to design my tattoos. I got him a silver ring, it was just a band but it had B+L in it. I know we haven't been dating long but he has helped me so much. 

I finally gained the confidence to wear this lingerie. So I took it off and showered making sure i shaved and washed my hair. Once i was done, I wrapped a towel around me and stood in front of the mirror. I wiped my hand over it because it had fogged up from the hot water. 

I stared at the girl looking in the mirror. The sadness wasn't in her eyes, bags were standing out anymore. Her skin was so much clearer. She had a faint smile on her face.

That girl was me. 

I looked up to the ceiling, "I love you mum." I whispered. 

I quickly dried my body before slipping on the lingerie. I dried my hair and curled it which i haven't done in a long time. I slipped on a black dress i bought for today. I smiled at my appearance and smoothed out the invisible lines and dirt.

Dante told me it would hurt, but in the end everything will be fine. 

Oh god i was sweaty, i felt my hands become all clammy. 

"It will be okay." I whispered. "Everything will be okay." 

if a thing loves, it is infinite- william blake