Hope. [COMPLETED]

Chapter Thirty-One.

Blaze's POV.

It's been around 3 weeks since Levi's Birthday. After we kicked Dante out we did a few more rounds. I was exhausted. I wasn't that sore, I think Levi really enjoyed it.

Today was the anniversary of my mums death and I feel like shit. My depression has hit me full force today.

I can hear my nan quietly sobbing in her room. I know she misses mum so much. We both do, we were shut a close family.

Sometimes I run through scenarios that I could of save her or the things I could of done differently. Like maybe of been running a few minute late or just enjoyed her singing.

I reached over to my desk and grabbed the picture of her, me and gran in.

"I miss you so much, so fucking much." I felt vomit rising up and I ran towards the bathroom and threw up in the toilet.

I felt my nan come in and rub my back whilst holding my hair back.

"Oh dear. Come on let's get you to bed." She helped me up and walked me to my bed.

She walked out and soon came back with some water and pills. "Here take these. It will be okay Blaze, it will get easier."

"Stay please." I looked up at her.

She nodded and got under the duvet with me. I cuddled into her side.

"You know your mum used to do this when she broke up with her boyfriends or she was ill." Nan giggled.

"Really?"

"Yep she would come in crying looking all ugly and want to cuddle with her mumma." She smiled.

"When there was storm I would run into her room and she would be waiting for me with her arms open. I would just run into her arms and hug her tight while she would sing horribly in my ear." I said thinking about the memory.

"You still are scared of storms Blaze, and she did have a horrible voice. I remember she asked for singing lessons and I did have the heart to say no." I laughed at that.

For the rest of day we spoke about memories with mum, I have several cups of tea in my room from how much we drunk.

I soon fell asleep after throwing up again.

"I think she has the stomach bug, have you clothes to sleep in?" I heard a women talk.

"Alright and yeah I do, see you Pearl." I heard a mans voice.

I opened one eye and saw Levi shutting my door.

"I've told it's creepy to stare." He spoke up.

"I'm just admiring Levi." I said sleep evident in my voice.

"How you feeling? Pearl said you was sick." He took of his shoes.

"I'm okay, just a small headache." Levi pulled himself under the covers and pulled me against him.

"Hmm I love you so fucking much." He whispers. "You know I want a whole bunch of kids."

"A bunch?" I screech.

"Yeah like 11 or 12." He just grins.

"No way in hell am I pushing out that many kids Levi." I stare at him.

"Fine okay maybe 8."

"Levi. The most I'm having it like 3 or 4." I said wrapping myself around him.

"What? No way." He shakes his head like he can't believe it.

"Yes way." I kiss his nose. "I want to get a tattoo soon and I want you to design it."

"Really? What do you want?" He asked.

"Mum with some roses or flowers around it. Make it pretty."

"Alright, I'll take you to wear I get mine done. I trust him to do it." He says placing his lips on my forehead and leaving them there.

"Okay." I say with a yawn at the end.

"Go sleep I'll be here when you wake up."

Fear doesn't shut you down, it wakes you up

- Unknown