Qulsum

Am I Attractive?

I leaned back onto the couch while my mother in law was up gone to sleep. It wasn't that late but on somedays she sleeps so early.

I managed to exchange numbers with my friends but I didn't really know if now was a good time for them to talk.

So I just stared at my phone contemplating on life.

"What're you staring at?" His voice startled me and I almost dropped my phone.

"Nothing."

"Let me see that." He says holding his hand out for me to give him my phone

"Whats the matter with you?" I ask.

"I said give me the phone. "

"You seriously don't trust me?"

"I trust Allah. I won't say more. Before you really get on my nerve give me the damn phone." He says and accepting my loss I gave it to him.

"Whatever you do, don't call or give out number out to guys. If you do and I catch you, I will not hesitate to kick you out."

"I wear the hijab. Boys don't have interest in me. Just take a look. Do I look like the type that boys will find 'attractive'? I don't think so. So you can relax."

"What do you mean boys wouldn't like you?"

"I mean they wouldn't have an attraction to me." I said staring at him blankly.

"Yes they would. You're small and cute and easy to manipulate- I mean you're not no. That's not what I meant!" He says putting his hand on his forehead looking down and I could tell he was embarrassed.

"I mean you're good look- how do I say this" he says sounding ever so frustrated. It's so funny to watch.

"What I mean to say is that you're naive .Some guys have no boundaries." He says and I smile and it just grows.

"How 'bout you?" I ask and his whole face just became red. It was like he was suffocated.

"What?"

"Did you ever get attracted to other women. Because I know women would be attracted to you." I say and he just stares at me blankly and then sat down onto the couch.

"What? Why's that."

"Because you're... Good looking and fit and you have this mysterious character, you're also rich and have nice cars. " I said folding my arms.

He just looked so lost.

"How about you?" He asks.

"What?"

"Are.. Do..Are you attracted to me?" He asks and I could feel my cheeks burning and I bursted out laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"Just the way you asked..."

He clears his throat and leans forward.

"You haven't answered my question." He says and I raise my brow. He was being serious? Okay I would never think he could be so cute. Is it weird that I found him cute by this?

"Oh, I thought you were kidding."

"No. I was not. Answer."

"When I say attraction I mean just attraction not love or feelings."

"Go on?"

"But no. I'm not." I say with full confidence. He nods his head.

"Then why would other women..."

"Because they don't know your character they just see your outside, but I see your character and its..not a good sight"

"No offence" I add in

He nods his head.

"Well what about you? About me?" I ask, even though I know it's no I just wanted to see how he'd react.

"I don't find you attractive either."

"Good."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to attract gross people like you, I'd be insulted."

"No offence." I add in once again just to protect myself. But he seemed to be cool about it.

"Well then what do you find attractive? Anyone?"

He thought long and hard and I sat in silence. What was he thinking about? Does he actually find someone attractive?

"Yeah, at work. She's attractive to me" He says. For some reason this was bothering me. The minute he said that I was in slight shock.

"Interesting. One day if we meet do let me know." I say. I feel like he's lying. Just to try and prove to me that he hates me that much.

"Sure, in fact you can meet her tomorrow. I'm sure she wont mind having dinner with us" he says staring at me waiting for a reaction.

I didn't react. I just stayed quiet.

"Um..do you.. Do you like her?" I ask, trying not to show that I cared. Because I don't and I shouldn't.

"Why do you ask?"

"Just.."

"Yeah. She's someone I can talk to without wanting to beat someone up."

"So you like her?"

"Yeah. "

"Does she like you?" I ask. My voice was getting shaky now. I don't need to be annoyed by this. He's not nice and I don't find him attractive and I just genuinely don't like him!

"Yeah. She knows how I am."

"Oh."

"What happened to your voice?" He asks.

"Nothing."

"Um..is she Muslim?" I ask. Why do I feel a little insecure about this.

"Yeah."

"Might I ask, why didn't you just marry her?"

"I don't know."

"Does she make you happy?" I ask.

"Some what."

If she was doing something good for him that I couldn't, and he needs happiness and if I am unable to do so someone else could. I shouldn't be selfish.

Right?

"If she makes you happy then maybe you could ask if she would like to marry you. Because you need to be happier. If she can do that then... Perhaps thats the right thing. Like if you had a rock made of gold or just a plain rock you'd take the golden one because it has more value. So you can ask if you want. But can you still let me stay. I like it here." I say trying not to tear up like a kid.

Hold it together woman. Don't be a selfish brat.

He didn't reply and he just walked off.

Yaseen's POV.

What is this? She is willing to let me marry another woman for the sake of my happiness. She doesn't like me but she mentioned the fact that its for my happiness not her hate.

Why? After everything I do and say she still puts herself after me. Regardless of her not liking me she still puts me before her. She's so selfless it makes me hate myself.

It kills me inside. But she thinks otherwise. Unless she's trying to get rid of me and go to Another guy.

Great. Now I have to bring in Maria. Should I?

I don't want her to think I was lying. I lied. She doesn't make me happy. She makes me feel the same way as everyone else, however, something about her does pop out. Her confidence.

-

~Be Loyal and Stay Royal~