Senior Standoff | RETIRED VERSION

Season 5 - Episode 5 | REVISED

Dedicated to punktrashchase because she was practically shitting herself waiting for this chapter.

The fire reflected on the gems of my tiara, glittering between my fingers. My thumbs ran over the delicate details absent-mindedly while I watched them, a small smile stuck on my face. I was curled up on the couch beside Asher, listening to the chatter and Finn's guitar strummings.

A familiar weight had disappeared with Senior Standoff being over. All of the pressure of being under the spotlight and drowning in constant drama was gone. I could breathe again. Somehow, I'd survived with my sanity in place.

I reached for my bottle of cider, cradled in the crook of my knees. Liv passed me a smoldering joint, struggling not to cough herself. I took it between my thumb and forefinger, placing the tip of it in my lips and sucking in a deep breath that burned my lungs. The first time, I coughed uncontrollably, unfamiliar with the feeling. Now I welcomed it. Passing the joint to Asher, I blew the smoke into the air above our heads.

I'd once felt so uncomfortable here, staying only to prove something to myself. Now, I had friends. A place where I belonged.

Finn passed the guitar off to Shane. The tone changed as he plucked a rough tune he'd begun to learn. I took a sip of my drink, watching Finn sink back into his chair with his arms crossed tightly. His lips were pressed together as he eyed Asher.

"Finn," Asher said quietly, trying to avoid looking him in the eye.

"No. We talked about this. Go," Finn said.

Asher sighed, hesitating for a moment. He stood up, holding his hand out to me. My blood pressure spiked. We walked up the hill together to the driveway, far enough away that we could barely see the fire through the trees. The porch light barely lit Asher's face.

He ran a shaking hand through his hair, keeping his eyes on the pavement. We stood there in silence for a moment, Asher shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"Asher?" I asked quietly.

He reached out and grabbed my hand, squeezing it gently.

"Pen, you've gotta know, this isn't coming easy for me," he said quietly. "You were right, and I'm sorry. I fell so damn hard for you, and when you told me you loved me, I panicked. I spent so much of my time trashed or stoned that week, doing anything I could to forget you, and I couldn't. Nothing I did to you that week was okay."

I sucked in a deep breath. "Yeah. You were awful."

"I know I was, and I'm sorry. I've been telling myself you deserve better than that ever since. You... deserve better than me." Asher paused. "You know, we both know who I was, but I don't want to be that way anymore. I don't want to feel like I don't deserve you, or like you could do better than me. I love you, and I want to be the guy you deserve."

"You what?" I asked breathlessly.

"I wasted so much time trying to keep you off my mind. You're the most amazing girl I know, and I can't keep doing this 'friends' thing. I just need you. No matter what it takes."

He let out a shaky breath.

"Can I be your girlfriend?" I asked, just wanting to hear the word. To know that was what he wanted, too.

"Can you?" Asher replied, laughing with disbelief. "Can I be your boyfriend?"

A laugh escaped me. I nodded my head, feeling tears begin to pool at my waterline. For all the times I'd pictured this moment in my head, I wasn't sure I had ever actually expected it to happen.

"Oh, thank God," he said quietly, chuckling himself. "I was afraid you'd turn me down."

"Why would I ever do that?"

Asher grinned, looking down to his feet. Then, he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me in, kissing me so hard I had to hold him for balance. His kisses were fierce, almost frantic, like he needed to get every bit of me before I was gone. We were so raw. So vulnerable.

"Fuck," he muttered. His forehead was on mine. "I have no idea what I'm doing now that I made it this far."

"You're off to a good start."

"Thanks." Asher was quiet for a moment. Putting his lips to my ear, he murmured, "Do you want to join me upstairs?"

I remembered the last couple of times Asher had touched me, in the bathroom and on Valentine's Day, both tied to negative memories. I wanted the good ones back.

"I'm tipsy and just had love professed to me by the guy I've been pining over all year. What do you think the answer is?"

Shaking his head slightly, Asher smirked. "You've changed from when I met you."

"Thank God," I replied.

Taking his hand, I pulled him towards the front door of the house. We found our way upstairs to an empty bedroom. Asher locked the door behind us. The window was open to circulate the warm almost-Summer air. I could hear the sounds of the party going on below.

"You know, when I was up here with Bryony, I couldn't do it. I kept thinking about you, and how I was never going to do that with you again, and it made me feel sick to my stomach."

I didn't know what to say.

"Did you actually overhear me and Finn talking?"

He hesitated. "Yes." Shrug. "But I think I needed to."

"I love you, too, you know."

Asher grinned. "Yeah, I know."

"So, did we come up here to talk, or what?"

Asher laughed. "What did I do to you?"

"Nothing yet; that's why I'm pissed."

"God damn," Asher said breathlessly, still chuckling under his breath. He pushed me back against the door and began to kiss me again. "I'm so in love with you, Aspen Faust."

The butterflies filled my stomach hearing those words. Feeling his body pressed against mine in the most pleasant way once again. He carefully removed my tiara from my head and placed it on the dresser beside us.

"Wouldn't want to break that. You earned it," he said.

"Thank you."

"Anything."

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My heart is starting to hurt.  Only one more chapter and maybe an epilogue.  We're down here to the ending.