Leave a Trace: Book Two

Chapter Twenty Five: Signature

Chapter Twenty Five: Signature

I left. I took the twins and walked out. I went to the hotel and I cried myself to sleep. I woke up when the twins did and was up the whole time they were and slept when they were sleeping. I couldn't move. It hurt.

I forced myself to put them in the bath. I took a shower when they were sleeping.

I got dressed and I forced myself to go back to the hospital.

Now, for the first time ever, my hope is gone. It's been three days.

I push the stroller down the hallway, nearly crashing into my twin on the way. He grabs my arm.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"How is he?" I whisper.

"He's...he feels really guilty." He says. "And he keeps asking if you're okay."

If I can't have the man I married, I'll teach him. I'll make him fall back in love with me.

I won't give up on him. Never.

Never.

"I'm going in to see him." I say.

"I'll come with you." He says.

Nodding, we walk together to his hospital room.

Before I go in, Reagan turns to me.

"Bella, you should know that Dr. Ries said-"

But I was already stepping in the room when he said it so his voice cuts off.

I walk into the room at the way and see Zane sitting up in bed scrolling through his phone.

Everyone looks up when I walk in. All side conversations end.

"You came back." Zane says, slowly setting his phone down.

"Yeah."

Something is going to happen.

Even this version of Zane I know. I know the old Zane's facial expression. At least he kept that.

Before he has a chance to say what he's going to tell me, I speak.

"You're filing for divorce."

His eyes study me for a moment.

"Yeah." He whispers.

I stuff my hands in the pockets of my sweatshirt.

I don't cry. I don't flip out. I don't tell him I'm going to keep fighting.

There's nothing left to fight for. He knows it and so do I.

I don't say anything, so he continues. "I want to remember you, Rose." He whispers. "I do. I want to remember so bad. It kills me." He swallows. "But I just...I just don't. I'm sorry.

I want to cuss him out. I want to tell him I fucking hate him.

"And the doctor said that if I don't remember yet, I probably never will."

But I can't. I don't hate him. I love him. I love him so much that I'm going to let him leave. He deserves to be happy.

"Please say something." He whispers.

I can't find my voice, so I gesture to the stroller where the twins are.

"I don't..." he trails off.

"You don't want them." I whisper.

"I want them." He says. "But I can't. I just...can't. I don't remember anything, Rose. In my mind, I'm a virgin. In my mind, there's no way they're mine."

"But they are yours." I say, and a tear rolls down my cheek.

I'm so fucking tired of crying. I'm so sick of it. I wipe it away angrily and fold my arms across my chest.

"I know." He looks pained. "But I don't remember. They're just babies. They're not my babies. Not to me."

This is so fucking unfair.

I hate everything. I hate the world. I hate the fucking bitch that hit him with her car. I hate my life. I hate it. I hate everything.

"You can have everything." He continues. "I just want the truck."

This isn't real. This isn't fucking real.

I want to bash my head against a wall.

"And money..."

He has the papers in front of him. He already got the papers.

Why can't he just remember? Why the hell can't he just remember?

If I step forward and sign those papers...that's it.

"I won't take a lot of money." He says. "I-"

"You can take as much money as you want."

Silence.

He wants me to sign.

He's waiting for me to sign.

Just sign and run. Sign and run.

I cross the room and grab the pen.

"Where do I sign?"

My voice if flat and void of any emotion.

He points to the right spot and I look directly into his eyes.

But there's no change. He doesn't remember.

So I press the pen to the paper and I sign, and then I drop the pen into his hand.

It felt like it weighed a million pounds when it was just a few ounces.

"Promise me something." He whispers. I just nod. "If the twins see pictures of me...of us..." he swallows. "Please tell them the truth."

I just nod again.

"Promise."

He scribbles his signature on the other line and I hear a few sniffles around the room.

I stare at the two signatures, and the realization hits me.

I'm divorced. We're divorced.

We got divorced.

I'm single.

I feel like the walls are closing in on me. I need to get the fuck out of here and I need to do it now.

So I run. I grab the twins and I run as hard as I can, taking the elevator to the first floor. I run out of the hospital and I just keep running until I stop next to some alley and throw up. The twins are crying and I feel like the world is crashing down around me.

I need to get the fuck out of here.

I need to go.

_____

I'm sobbing it sounds like I'm being strangled I'm not kidding the only reason I can type this is because I know the keyboard without looking at it

~Sam