for better or for worse // mitchel cave (completed)

part XLIII

*jesse's pov*

it was eating me alive. the guilt, the heartbreak, the knowledge that i was a terrible person, and the fact that i couldn't help how i felt. it was burning a hole in my gut, and this was the only way i knew how to get it out.

i trusted him honestly. i was hoping he would never mutter a word of this to anyone else, and the only thing i could do was pray it all worked out. so now let's see.

i mustered the courage to raise my fist, my eyes scanning the white frame of the door, trying to distract myself while my knuckles made contact with the wood, hitting on the entrance of the room.

i winced, waiting on the inevitable reply. part of me was hoping he wouldn't even answer. maybe he wouldn't answer and i could drink a couple of coronas until the searing guilt faded away temporarily. part of me knew this had to be done though. maybe it wasn't quite as good as the real confession, but it was a practice confession almost. didn't mean it didn't scare the shit out of me though.

as the thoughts flooded my mind, i heard a deep voice come out of the room, and i swore my knees felt almost weak.

"who is it?"

"jesse," i answered, my tone behaving much cooler than the way i felt right now.

"oh come in dude."

i took a long breath and breathed out slowly, closing my eyes for a moment to collect my thoughts and then i turned the silver door knob, swinging open the entrance to my fate. well, almost.

clinton's hair was in a mess of curls, his usual bun and too-thick black headband nowhere to be seen. he had no shirt on and basketball shorts, his hairy chest exposed as he swiveled around on his desk chair, facing me.

"what's up?" he said nonchalantly, unaware of the nervous vibes i was putting out.

i managed to sit down on the edge of the bed, studying the beige carpet as if it was the most interesting thing in the world to me at this moment. "i just kinda felt like i needed to talk to you."

he knitted his thick eyebrows together, nodding slowly and leaning back in the cushioned chair, waiting for me to go on.

i don't know why i chose clinton to tell this to. i could've confided in christian i supposed, maybe pat,  but clinton and i's bond seemed to go beyond a bandmate/friend bond. we were practically brothers.

i managed to swallow the golfball-sized lump in my throat and took in enough air to push the next sentence out, as much as i didn't want it to be heard.

"i...i fucked laralyn."

...silence. complete and total silence. i wasn't sure what his reaction was, as my eyes were shut immediately, wincing at the way those words coming out of my mouth seemed so so wrong.

about a minute or so of silence seemed to pass, and it felt like i was on the edge of that bed for years, time stretching as i waited for anything.

i needed some kind of reaction. i needed him to hit me, to yell, to curse me out, to run downstairs and tell mitchel as fast as he could. but what came next surprised me.

he laughed. his thunderous laugh erupted from his throat, the loud noise coming from his throat seeming almost alien-like to his usual quiet behavior.

he laughed and laughed, his eyes becoming red brimmed from tears of amusement, clutching his toned stomach as he gasped for air.

i gripped the sides of the bed in frustration, wanting some kind of explanation for his odd behavior. "clinton, did you hear me correctly? i fucking had sex with lara. mitchel's ex."

he nodded through his laughter, finally managing to quiet himself down a bit. "yes, i heard you. believe me, i heard you loud and clear. man, mitchel is the luckiest man ever. he just found the answer to all of his problems, and i wonder how the hell it even happens."

i sighed, instantly regretting telling clinton. i had no actual idea what he was talking about but he seemed delusional. i stood up, my legs propelling me out of his door before his voice stopped me in my tracks.

"jesse no wait. come back, i swear i'll explain it."

i hesitated but managed to swivel around on my heel, wanting at least an explanation on how me banging mitchel's soulmate made him the luckiest man ever.

i sat back down, shaking my head. "tell me."

he laughed quietly and looked at me. "mitchel fucked jessie. the other jessie, the annoying one that's obsessed with him and used to be friends with lara. jessie has been threatening to tell laralyn what happened and mitchel is way too ashamed to admit what happened to laralyn, but now he found the answer to all of his problems. you see, she fucked up just as bad as he did, and now all can be forgiven and they can be cool with each other again and mitchel won't get his scrawny ass kicked. the end. now, doesn't my laughing make sense to you?"

i wanted to tell him i was in love with lara, i swear i did. but something about this situation told me i didn't need to tell him, and part of me knew laralyn would never bring that up to anyone. so i did what was best.

i sucked it up and forced out a choked laugh. "damn, you're right. mitchel got a lucky break."

clinton nodded, smiling to himself. "i know right? now, mitch might be kind of angry when he finds this out, but he's gonna thank you later okay? don't worry dude. it will all work out."

i fake smiled, pretending to be amused. "oh, mitchel couldn't beat my ass if he tried anyway. i was totally drunk when i fucked her anyway, i can barely remember a thing," i lied, leaning back in a nonchalant way as if this was suddenly the most normal topic in the world.

clinton grinned and stood up, patting me on the shoulder.

"you've made mitchel and laralyn's shot at true love again, a lot easier. that can help you sleep at night for sure."

and that was the exact opposite of everything i wanted.

________

bitchhhh omg😫 i don't know what to say but damn imagine clinton with his hair down wow i think i imaginary nutted WOO. anyway, vote it up for more and i'll see u guys on the next update!! leave me some comments maybe?? ❤️❤️