how to love (Demi Lovato lesbian fanfic)

21: something that we're not

Demi's pov

I look right into beautiful blue eyes.The eyes of my girlfriend, Liz.  Eyes I've known for an half year now. Eyes I've looked into a lot. Eyes I haven't looked really into for the past few weeks and now that I look right into them, I realize I should have looked in them more often because those eyes are full of pain at the moment. \

But isn't it her own fault? She is the one who's acting childish. She is the one who isn't accept me working. She is the one who is jealous that I'm doing other stuff than doing things with her. So it's her fault, right?

"You should go to the dressing room before we can take the pictures." Liz ,the photographer, says.

Photographer. How did it come that I didn't know that she was a photographer? That she got a job as photographer at such a big magazine? Is it because I didn't paid attention or is it because she hasn't told me?

I sigh. I shouldn't ask myself these questions. I should just think about the facts. And the fact is that Liz and I talk way to less.

Liz' pov

I feel my heart skipping some beats as Demi walks in, back from the dressing room. Holy she looks so hot. Yeah I know she looks always hot, but this slays everything. She is wearing a denim shirt with a pink jacket while she has rainbow extensions in her hair and her lips are made red with lipstick.

I want to walk straight  to her and kiss her but right now is not the time since the fight we have ,or actually the not talking we do.

But fow now I should not focus on it. I should focus on shooting pictures of my beautiful girlfriend. I take like a thousand photo's of her in three different outfits and I'm telling you the truth as I say that I'm totally wet after we're done, and no it's not from the rain or whatever you think. It's from Demi.

I walk towards Demi as soon as we are done with the shoot.

"You did an amazing job, beautiful sunshine." I tell her and she gives me a smile back.

My heart is filling itself with warmth. It's been a long time since something like this happened. But the amazing feeling I have is fading away very soon.

I lean towards her and want to kiss her but she walks away.

Okay that hurts. A lot.

Demi's pov

My fake smile disappears from my face as I walk out of the studio from seventeen magazine. Normally I would call Max and tell him to pick me and bring me back to work but at this moment I prefer walking by myself so I have time to think. Think about what just happened.

I refused Liz kiss and no not because I wanted to do it. The shoot was amazing and it made me realize that ,whatever was wrong between me and Liz, we have to fix it because I don't want to lose her. But I don't think we can make it up with a kiss while we are both working. We just need a lot of talking and speaking about our real feelings and I think tonight is the night. The night were Liz and I should really talk and only God knows what happens after that.

I immediately change the direction were I'm walking too as a idea appears on my mind. 

I need to work till 7 pm but after that, the night is gonna be perfect. It's just me and Liz. Or at least that's what I thought but little did I know she was gone as I am coming home?

Liz' pov

I'm staring out of the window from the taxi as tears are welling up in my eyes. You are probably wondering why I am in a taxi and why I am crying? Well I will tell you what happened since I came home an hour ago.

I walk into the house while tears are rolling down my cheeks. I walk straight to the bathroom and pick up the razor, which I break. Yeah you probably thought that my relapse was only once? Well then you thought wrong. Ever since the fight I couldn't stop cutting. Nobody loves me not even Demi. I press the razor on my wrist. She refused my kiss. She hates me. The only person who ever loved me, hates me now and oh she has all the right to. Why would she love a worthless piece of shit like me?

That's when I realize it. I realize I have to go, away from this house. Away from Demi so she can just continue her life without me.

And you can all guess what happened after it. I packed my suitcases and called a cab, which will bring me to the airport. No I didn't saw Demi anymore but I left her a letter, which I hope she will read. 

Love and acceptance was all I needed and Demi gave it to me. As long as she could love me she did. But I understand that she loving me. Everyone else did, so why wouldn't she?