Water

Wave Six

Eli shivered despite the warmer waters as he and Dale swam steadily up. He glanced at Dale; his face was a mask. Eli knew he was shielding his thoughts – a practice the Guardians constantly enforced. Eli yearned to reach out to Dale, to stem the tide of loneliness that threatened to engulf him. He’d never enjoyed being cut off from the Herd. None of the Guardians did. It was why they imposed these mental silences. It was why he, and the Guardians before him, had been drilled again and again at cutting themselves off from their loved ones. It was why he hadn’t been able to save Sirene.

          Thoughts of his mate began to course through Eli. They danced before his eyes as he projected them. As always, Eli winced, trying to stop the memories. Before he could, Dale dropped his shield and saw what Eli was doing. He cannoned into Eli’s mind, forcing the memory to play. The two were plunged into Eli’s vision, transfixed as it unfolded.

(Why are you doing this?) Eli struggled to pull himself from the memory as Sirene’s brilliant amethyst tail, pitted with deep scars, swirled into view.
(It's time, Eli. You've put it off for too long. You owe it to her to remember. And to grieve.)
(But what about Leira? The Test-)
Dale grinned mischievously as Eli winced. (The Test can wait! Besides, she needs a head start now we know where she's gone.) Dale's thought faded as Sirene came into view and the vision drew them in.

          It took Eli a moment for his eyes to adjust to the memory, worn and faded as it was. And then it was if he were really there, reliving it.

She’d been assigned to him on her first day of training. Sirene bristled outwardly at being paired with a Mer only a few broods older. They were alone on the Guardian’s training meadow. The sea grass rustled around them, disturbed by the movement of their tails. Sirene’s dark gold hair was harshly pulled back and secured with lengths of seaweed. She wore none of the adornments typical of most Mer.  

      Eli observed her delicate torso and reached out tentatively with a kindly thought, not wanting to startle her. He was completely blocked out! She was shielding, a skill that such a new trainee was not expected to have. He saw her smile triumphantly to herself, revelling in his obvious astonishment. That smile cost her. Her concentration faltered and Eli poured everything into his attack, knowing he could easily breach her mind. His irritation at being blocked out overrode any concern for her privacy. Her smile froze as she realised what was happening. Instead of submitting to her superior, she continued to try to block him. A flicker of fear edged into Eli's chest – surely she knew how dangerous it was to use up this much energy just to block him?

          Just as he was beginning to worry that he couldn't break her, her memories began to flow through him. In trying to prevent him from accessing her thoughts, Sirene had created a dam of them. Eli’s onslaught had broken into her personal cache of memories. Her thoughts surged into his mind and she could do nothing to stop them.

        Agony flooded her eyes. Eli had total control over her as he realised her innermost desires and memories: she’d yearned to be a Scout, and explore beyond the Nest. She had fought savagely in the place of her birthing, killing most of her birthmates within hours of being born. He felt her shame as he accessed that memory, seeing through her eyes the way she’d fought with the other newly hatched Mer. Each of them had tried to snatch enough Source to sustain them for the long swim down to their Nest. Scales were ripped from her body as she clamoured to access the energy.

          It wasn’t her fault of course. In these uncertain times, Mer were forced to ration the amount of energy they left with their eggs, vulnerable and unprotected. They couldn’t leave enough Source to sustain an entire batch of hatchlings, so only the strongest survived. Few enough of them hatched anyway. The ones who did had to fight. Strange, then, that she’d stored such a memory when they’d all been through it. He drifted almost lazily onto her next memory, trying not to relish the complete control he had over her, and saw-
Crunch!

          Somehow, she managed to summon enough energy to bring up her great tail and swipe it powerfully into him. Dazed, he saw several purple scales fly through the water. He looked down at himself to assess the damage to his tail. Sirene took advantage of his lapse and positioned herself above him. She swiped down at him again and her razor-sharp fin sliced through his thick skin. The water around him filled with swirls of deep red droplets. They shimmered in the rays of light beaming down from the posts surrounding the training meadow.

          Furious, Eli turned to retaliate, until he saw two pearlescent tears trace down her cheek. Sirene turned her face to his and Eli held her gaze for as long as he could. The memory began to flicker. It dissolved in the waters before them and Sirene faded away.

            Trailing his fingers along the deep, white scar embedded in his chest, Eli snapped back to the present. He continued to reel through the water, relieved Dale had freed him from the memory.

          (You're shaking.)
Eli gritted his teeth as Dale’s concern reached him.
(You need to heal, Eli. Keeping her memory stored inside like that isn't healthy. It'll consume you. I want my old friend back.)
Eli continued to tremble as a slow rage burned within him.

          (The memory’s all I have.)
Silence followed. Dale was waiting for him to project. Eli swallowed, gathering his thoughts.
(I could've saved her; I could-)
(How? You’ve got to stop torturing yourself! She was swimming alone to the birthing place. She was unprotected and -)
(Exactly!) Eli fumed. (I wasn't connected to her because we're Guardians. I didn't even sense her die. Didn't hear her goodbye.) A sob threatened to rise in his throat. He swallowed and tasted bile.
(I only found out she was gone when I reconnected to the Herd. She'd been dead for hours by then.)
(I can't imagine what that must've been like.)
(No, you can't. But try. Try and picture it. You spend the day training, as always. Disconnected, as always. You reconnect, and search for your heartmate to find...silence. Gone. Leira and I were left completely alone.)

          Shaking with anger, Eli noticed Dale peering at him. He swallowed his rage, feeling it burn deep into his throat.

          (I still can’t sense Leira.) Eli’s thought rang across the space between them forcing Dale to drop the subject. As their minds connected, Eli knew Dale sensed the remnants of his anger, but his friend didn’t push him.
(We came up further than even the old Nest. She’s running out of places to hide.) It was true. The seascape up here, although teeming with life, was far more open than the deeper waters. Their Nest was sheltered in a bed of rock. It had been hastily constructed after the Herd had dived deeper following the Great Attack. Carvers had called forth tunnels and caverns from the surrounding cliffs and jutting rocks. The higher Eli and Dale swam, the sparser these hiding places became, with caves and gorges becoming corals and smaller alcoves.

          Eli fleetingly admired the beauty surrounding them: the schools of darting colours, the lazy current swirling around them dragging reluctant plankton with it. His Herd had sacrificed much by retreating so far down. He wondered whether hostile Mer still existed up here, or had the other herds all died out? It wasn’t beyond the realms of possibility - Sources weren’t limitless and, up here, other dangers beside Mer swam freely. Eli felt Dale assessing his thoughts and knew he agreed with Eli.
(But we’re safer down there,) Dale projected.
(I know it.)
(She isn’t here.)
(She must be. She - )

          Eli’s thoughts died before they left his mind. He and Dale recoiled with the force of the projection that hit them. No words came through, but a clear emotion of distress washed over them. Eli knew instantly whose signal it was.

Leira.

He searched frantically for a connection to her. Nothing. Dale touched his arm, trying to soothe him. Eli shrugged him away causing a rush of bubbles. Leira’s signal had been weak. He sensed it had cost her much to project it over such a vast distance. And it hadn’t come from above them. It had come from below.

Agitated now, thoughts focussed on his daughter, Eli swiped his tail and span desperately back down. He left Dale to follow in his wake.