Water

Wave Sixteen

Her eyelids fluttered, but didn’t open. A thought brushed against her mind. It was gentle and didn’t feel invasive, despite being the first contact she’d had for days. The hammock she’d been sleeping in was moulded to the form of her body and smelt of her scent. The yellow sponge was darkening and turning black as it absorbed the toxins of the past few tides. She sighed in her sleep and continued to allow the thought to flit around the outside of her mind.
(Wake, Child.)

          Leira stirred and sat up. Her tail was still anchored in the sponge mattress. She reached out to the Herd, as she’d done countless times, but sensed nothing. Silence. Each new tide had bought more frustration as she became more aware of herself. Her memories felt less fuzzy around the edges and her mind was clearing.  

          Leira clasped a hand to her head. She couldn’t see her reflection, but felt certain she’d injured herself somehow. Wincing, her fingers caught the jagged edges of a wound that was still trying to close.
(Child?)

          Leira started and nearly fell from the hammock into the surrounding waters of her confinement. How could someone be getting through to her? She peered around the hammock. She was alone but for the three orbs, dimmer now she’d been drawing on their energy for sustenance. Still dazed from the effects of the venom, Leira struggled to form her reply,
(Who – who is this?)
(The Seer.)

          Leira smiled at this. It was only Anahita, the Herd’s Seer. She supposedly spoke to the Sources, but everyone knew she was just a relic – a remnant from years gone by when Sources had been abundant. No one believed she could actually speak to them. Still, Leira knew some of the older Mer whispered that Anahita had been present at the Great Attack, and she’d helped the Guardians to conceal their Sources from the enemy. But Anahita only smiled her mysterious smile whenever someone thought this. She'd turn away, pretending she hadn’t heard.

    Leira pictured Anahita now – her hair was, and always had been, a startling white blonde. It flowed down her shimmering white skin and scales. Leira was a little afraid of Anahita. She was different, living in the edge of the Nest, not quite fitting in. And the mass of ugly scars that crisscrossed about her chest and arms didn’t do much to improve that.
(What do you want, Seer?)
(To help.)
(Go on.)
Leira was being blunt, but she didn’t care. She’d been caged in the same room for many tides now and the water around her was starting to taste stale and unclean.
(What happened to you during your Testing?)
Leira closed her eyes to try and focus. (I – I don’t know. I can’t remember.)
(Try.) Anahita was gentle, yet forceful. She communicated with a power Leira hadn’t noticed before.
(I can’t reme-)
(Look! Look at your arms. Look at your tail. What happened to you?)

          Leira looked down at herself and saw the tangle of burn marks and lacerations lacing across her flesh. She saw the streak of white winding around her tail. Nothing. Anahita must have sensed this, and her thought did not disguise her disgust as she hissed,
(We’re running out of time. I thought you’d be stronger than this.)

          Annoyed, Leira tried to cut their connection.
(Child,) Anahita spat. (It won’t work. You’re too weak. I’m too strong. If you can’t remember for yourself, then hear me instead. You found a Source. You spoke to it – you nearly became part of it. You heard -)

          (Sirene!) Leira left her coverings and darted round the room, distressed at the sudden memory. (How did I hear her? Where was she? Can I speak to her again?)
(No, my Child.)
Leira’s heart broke. She’d lost her again. (Was she – how…she was in the Source?)
(Yes.)
(And I heard other whispers too, voices. Were they-) Leira paused. The effort of communicating threatened to overwhelm her. (Were they Mer too?)
(Yes.)
Leira shook her head, trying to absorb the information.
(But how -)

          Leira’s thought trailed off as a new memory surfaced. Cam. He’d followed her to the Source and then he’d – what?
(Cam’s gone.) It was a question, but Anahita didn’t need to answer it.
(I heard his whisper too. How did they get inside the Source? And where did they go? Did they-)

          Leira stopped her thought as she guessed the truth. Sources were souls. Beings. Her Mother hadn’t been inside the Source; she’d been the Source. A part of it, at least. Cam too.

          Bewildered, she reasoned that if Sources fuelled herds, they must be using the souls of their loved ones to survive. The quicker a Source was used, the sooner their deceased would be truly gone. Used up – energy into energy - until the Source was spent.

          And she’d been the one to send Cam to it. Worse - her mother had been languishing there. Waiting in it. Waiting to be given back to the Herd in the form of nourishment, or the building of a new room, or perhaps a stray thought, carelessly generated. The thought of her mother’s soul being used up so callously threatened to overcome Leira. And then it hit her: she had been the one to use up Sirene’s last fragments of energy.

      The grief came in waves. Doubling over with the pain of it, Leira’s tail ripped fresh cuts in her arms as she hugged it to herself. She barely noticed. She sensed Anahita at the back of her mind and knew the Seer was letting her experience the agony without interruption. Exhaustion threatened to overcome her again. The room started to blur. She supposed Anahita sensed it too, for she nudged Leira’s mind.

          (Child. It wasn’t your fault. You were drawing on the Source to survive, even as it tried to drain you.)
(How do you do it?) There was silence as Anahita waited for Leira to elaborate. (How can you speak to the Sources, knowing you're speaking to the dead? Our dead.)
(It’s my duty, Leira. Just as being a Guardian is yours.)
(How can you just, just hide them away – store them to be used up? Those are Mer – living Mer.) Leira’s thought dripped with disdain, but she didn’t care. Let the Seer hear her disgust.
Anahita’s anger coursed through her next thought,
(Child! You couldn’t even begin to understand what I do!)
(That’s why you record all our deaths, isn’t it?) Leira refused to back down. She knew Anahita was the one informed of a Mer’s passing – she’d assumed it was because she oversaw the death rites and the passing ceremony. Now she guessed it was so Anahita could keep track of who had passed in to a Source.

          Leira shuddered at the fresh horror of it as a thought occurred to her. She projected once again.
(I could hear them. Does that make me a Seer, too?)
(No, Child. But it makes you special. Your father couldn’t hear them. None of the others ever can. They sense them sometimes when they’re very close to passing over, but you were drawn straight to it. Yes, you’re special Leira. But dangerous. Even now, I’m outside the meeting of the Council and I fear what they’ll decide. As a Guardian, you might locate another of our Sources – you destroyed the one you found. And yet, you might discover new ones for us. I can’t leave our Nest – it isn’t safe. I need to be here, with Mosel- our Sources.) Anahita’s thought faltered, but Leira didn’t notice.
(You should be here too, protecting them, Leira. And yet, you’ve ruined one. So should we risk you being a Guardian? Or should you be a Scout? You could travel far. Better you destroy the energy of other herds, than ours.)

    Leira shook her head. Why was Anahita even asking that? It was too much. The final effects of the venom kicked in. She heard Anahita’s frustrated gasp as their connection was severed.

          Drifting into a dreamless sleep, Leira floated through the waters as the orbs bobbed around her. When she woke again, she would remember nothing of the day’s events.