Wave Fifty One

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Leira woke with the next tide and rose alongside her friends. As they prepared to leave their chamber, she noticed them watching her warily. Nerida beckoned to her, and Leira swam over, reclining on the stone in front of her. Nerida braided Leira’s unkempt hair into intricate twists and knots which flowed down her back. She began to sweep ink around Leira’s eyes. Leira noticed Nerida’s hands were trembling. Hali settled in next to them, studying Leira’s face, until Nerida was finished. Tal hovered nearby. Wordlessly, they moved to leave the room. Tal swept the shell curtain aside for Leira. They travelled down the tunnel, still silent. Tal kept sneaking surreptitious looks at Leira as they swam, barely looking at where he was swimming. When he nearly crashed into the tunnel wall for the fourth time, Leira stopped and turned.
(OK. What is it?)
Tal looked innocently back at her, stubbornly quiet. Shrugging, Leira continued until they reached the antechamber.
         
They all paused, waiting for Leira to enter the main cavern first. She looked at Hali.
(Seriously, what is it? I never lead! What’s going on?)
Always direct, Hali projected quietly, (We don’t know how to act around you, Leira. One minute you were gone, and now -)
(You’ve come back to us.) Nerida finished. Tal picked up their thought,
(It’s like nothing even happened out there, beyond the Nest. But it did.) His thought seemed to hang in the water before Leira.
(Now you’ve come back to us, and you’re moving on, and that’s great. But we still haven’t had the chance to say -)
(Sorry,) Hali cut in. Tears glistened in her green eyes, making them sparkle. She pressed her tail close to Leira’s, and looked down at the sea bed. (We’re so sorry. Can you forgive us?)
         
The water in the antechamber seemed to close in on Leira and she brought her hand to her throat, feeling her gills contract. She’d been so wrapped up in her grief, she hadn’t thought about her friends. How guilty they must feel. How worried.
(There’s nothing to forgive,) she thought to them, trying to project warmth into her thought. (But if Tal keeps simpering and getting in my way,) Leira added, (then I’ll give you something to really apologise for!) Tal looked shocked, then sensed the humour in Leira’s thought. He flailed in mock pain, throwing his head back and shooting out his tail for balance. In the small space of the antechamber, his tail swiped into Hali’s and sent her flying into the ceiling-orb. She returned with a murderous look upon her face and the pair began bickering. Leira saw Nerida rolling her eyes and smiling. She laughed, and it felt good. It felt normal.
         
The smile soon left her face as she passed through the antechamber and into the main chamber. The bustling atmosphere was overwhelming and Leira felt self-conscious as they joined a group of Scouts who were gathered around a sandbasin. Leira sat on the edge of it and dipped her tail in, unwilling to fully immerse herself. She swirled her tail around in the silky sand and half-heartedly scrubbed some along her arms. A shadow loomed over her. Sol’s face grinned down at her, his round cheeks glowing as red as his tail. He playfully flicked some sand over her lap and then reached down to scoop some into his hand. He began to rub it into Leira’s shoulders and she tensed at the contact, uncomfortable. Perhaps sensing Leira’s discomfort, Sol shifted and lifted his hand away to smooth a strand of dark green hair from his face.
(Good to have you back with us, Guardian,) he thought kindly. Leira looked around and saw the other Scouts smiling at her, nodding their agreement. With her tail submerged in the sandbasin, Leira felt less conscious of the differences between them all. She could have easily passed as another Scout preparing for the day.
         
With a reluctant sigh, she heaved her tail from the basin and swivelled round to face the chamber. Firth had moved to within touching distance of her. The other Scouts seemed to melt away in his presence.
(Leira.) He thought her name as a statement, without any of his usual warmth.
(Firth,) she replied, trying to keep her projection steady. Firth’s sapphire eyes appraised Leira and she returned his gaze. The tiny orbs in his hair clinked and glittered as he moved closer to her.
(The jellyfish!) Leira stammered, not wanting their conversation to draw to a close. (We didn’t-)
(That was tides and tides ago, Leira,) Firth thought to her, a note of amusement edging into his thought. (Your team reported back and we know all about it.) He raised an eyebrow at her, then his gaze travelled down her body. Leira followed it. She saw that his eyes rested on her tail, and the streaks of white that now ran through it, snaking their way across her amethyst scales. Firth’s lips scrunched in revulsion, barely concealing his disgust at her unusual markings.
(It’s not, it’s just-) Leira grasped for the right words, unable to describe the patterns without revealing her knowledge of Sources, and her training with Anahita.
(Damage.) The thought left Firth and hit Leira with force, revealing his loathing of anything that wasn’t beautiful.
         
Another Mer swam over to them, and she put her hand gracefully around Firth’s waist. She was slender, with sparkling tawny hair glittering with orbs that matched Firth’s. Her tail was perfect: long, smooth and a gleaming shade of deep burgundy that shimmered scarlet in the light of her orbs as she moved. She paid no attention to Leira, as if she wasn’t even there. She drew Firth over to a different sandbasin, and he left Leira without a backward glance.
         
Leira used the heel of her hand to brush away a tear that was forming, then used her fingernail to scratch her eyelid, pretending to have an itch. She saw Nerida looking at her sympathetically and smiled brightly to cover her humiliation. Hali swept over, unaware of the exchange with Firth.
(Come. Back to the chambers. We have filing to do,) she projected wryly. They’d been demoted then, Leira thought dully. As they reached the chamber, Leira could smell the dust within: the smell of the ageing records, dutifully stored by the Scouts. They settled in to the small alcove to work. It was an arduous process. They began by picking up small slivers of rock from a messy pile. Each stone tablet contained etchings, scribbles or maps and needed to be glanced at before being wrapped in seaweed and stored away safely. Occasionally other Mer would swim in and request a map, or a piece of information, and Leira would have to retrieve it and hand it over. After a while, Leira’s thoughts began to wander.
         
(I can’t do this.) Leira’s words surprised her, but she thought them aloud to the others. She felt their curiosity.
(I need to get out, to swim. I can’t stay here.) Leira’s eyes flashed with determination. She needed to leave, to get away from Firth, and the memory of her parents. In that moment, she knew she had to leave the Nest.
(Come with me.)
(Where?) asked Nerida, sceptical. Leira cast her mind out, trying to think about where she really wanted to go. She wanted to get as far away as possible. And if she found a Source, all the better.
(Up. To the Surface.)
Tal snickered, thinking Leira was joking. His laughter softened when he saw her grave expression.
(You can’t be serious,) Hali projected. (There’s no way they’ll let us leave after, after…) Her thought faded, not needing to be projected. After what happened last time.
         
Leira contemplated Hali’s words. She was right; they wouldn’t be able to leave the Nest if they thought Firth would forbid it. Unless…
(The Herd is in danger,) she gushed, resolving to tell some, if not all, of the truth. (Our energy is running out. Anahita won’t tell me how many Sources we have left, but she says I need to find another. I can’t do it alone.)
Hali’s eyes narrowed into dark slits.
(Why you? How would you even know how to find a Source?)
Leira swallowed. She wanted to tell her friends the truth: she’d made a regrettable deal with Darya, and had been trained by Anahita. The words wouldn’t come. Instead she found herself lying,
(It’s a Guardian thing. We have to have some knowledge of the Sources we protect.) Hali continued to stare at Leira, but didn’t challenge her.
Tal thought gently, (Hali, something strange is happening up there. Firth is sending Scouts further and further out each day. Something’s got him worried.) He held up a pile of mission reports. (The waters are changing. We don’t know why.)
(We could maybe help to check it out,) Nerida added. (And Leira can search for a Source along the way?)
Hali exhaled, a rush of bubbles escaping from her lips. She bowed her head in defeat, and then nodded her agreement. Leira heard Hali think quietly to herself,
(Guardians!)

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