Don't Wake Me Up - Shawn Mendes

PART TWENTY

 I rest my forehead on his for a few seconds. Then I switch the blinker to indicate that I'm gonna get back on the road. There are no other cars around at this hour, so I can easily get back to the normal highway speed. I take the next exit to get back on the road in the other direction. We haven't said a word since the declaration, but the silence is comfortable. Shawn's hand is on my thigh as I drive, and he's tracing an imaginary drawing.

"I love your hair, your beautiful curls," I start saying, still looking at the road. "I love your eyes. I didn't use to notice brown eyes, 'cause I have brown eyes and thought they were so normal. But you have amazing brown eyes and I could get lost in them anytime. I lov-"

Shawn cuts me off:

"Don't get me wrong, I don't want to stop this, but where is this all coming from?"

"Well, now that that little 4-letter word is finally out, I'm free to shower my Leo with it. Just enjoy."

"Okay!" Shawn says, excited. "Hit me," he says as he puts his leg up on the dashboard and throws his head back on the headrest.

"I love... your brain - the way your mind works, the way you think. Sometimes we can be so different, yet other times exactly the same. I love learning from you. I love your jaw! I have said some obscene things about your jaw to my friends! And no! Before you ask — I could see him about to say something from the corner of my eye — I will not repeat it. I love your smile. I love being the reason for it. I love your broad shoulders and your arms. I don't know how I feel about choking, but ay papacito, we might find out!"

We both laugh.

"I love your heart - how it beats so passionately, both metaphorically and literally, for your music and your art, but also when I lay my head on your chest and hear it beat a bit faster. Speaking of, I love your chest. I love your butt. Great butt!" I end with a chuckle.

Shawn looks at me. He wants to act embarrassed but I know he's feeling great.

"Thanks. I mean, you're pretty cool, too, I guess," and he laughs and kisses my cheek.

I drive us back home and we keep listening to his playlist. I drop myself home, and kiss Shawn again before leaving. I thank him for the weird yet great day we had, and watch him drive off.

I get home and immediately get into my PJs, and start my skincare routine. The song I was playing on my phone stops, so I go to check what's happening, but it actually just paused to play the *Quack! Quack! Quack!* sound, and my heart jumps again. Shawn is calling me.

"Hey, did I forget something?"

"Hey babe, uh, yeah actually. Can you let me in?"

I buzz him in, and go get the spare key my landlord gave me when I first moved in, as I think it only makes sense to give it to Shawn now. I hear a knock on the door, and open it. I don't have time to say a word that I feel arms wrapped around me, picking me up, and soft supple lips on mine.

Shawn must've felt something sticky on his face, because he puts me down and looks at me. I can see some of my mud mask on his nose and chin. We both laugh, and I finally let him in.

"Hey babe, I also wanted to give you a key," I say as I hand it to him. "So you don't have to call me every time you wanna be let in."

"Oh thanks! Still have that ringtone, eh?"

"It's funny! Except that it scares the living hell out of me every time... But it's funny," I try to justify — to him and to myself — why I keep it.

Shawn makes his way to my bathroom, I guess to wash off, so I follow him and ask:

"So, what did I forget?"

"Uh?" Shawn replies in confusion.

"On the phone, I asked if I forgot something and you said yes. Why did you come up here?"

"I- I didn't want to leave you," he says as he turns to face me. "I didn't want to spend the night apart. Not after we just had a fight, and made up, and asked all those serious questions, and said 'I love you' for the first time."

"Well, that's fair. I didn't want to leave you either, but I needed to get out of these clothes."

"Also fair," Shawn replies as he takes off his shirt.

I stand there, not complaining, but puzzled.

"What else did you need to do?" he asks.

"Well, I needed to wash my face and put my hair up."

I find a headband Shawn can wear to push his locks away, and I start my whole skincare routine on him. Cleanser, toner, mask. Some more toner because I was supposed to spray it on after the mask. A little vitamin C serum for blemishes, and some moisturizer. And Shawn lets me do all of this to him, while singing along to some old school tunes. And I have honestly never felt more like I belong. I usually love 'me-time' because I'm free to be myself and not feel like I'm being judged and compared every second. And I never thought in a million years a boy would make me feel like this, would allow me to be myself.

It was already a bit late when we got home, so we just went to bed after that. We cuddle, and I realize that normally, I'd be worried about my breathing, or my movements, or my hair being in the way... But not anymore. That's how I knew I was really in love.

We wake up the next morning, and as promised, I make delicious crêpes. Then, I send Shawn on his way, because I have plans with Mateo and Thom. I get ready and head out of the house.

A short subway ride and I'm over at their apartment. I go up and I don't know if my friends are super perceptive or if something actually changed, but the first thing Mateo asks me is if anything happened, 'cause I look different.

"What do you mean different?" I ask him.

"I don't know, like, different! You're happy, glowing!" he says as he claps his hands close to his face and gives me this familiar look.

I give him a strange look of my own to shake it off, but Thom also mentions it, and now I'm spilling all the tea.

"Well, things are just going super well with Shawn. Yesterday was super weird, but also super good. Like, he had a weird night at the club with his friends on Friday and called me in a panic at 2am. So I woke up yesterday and brought him coffee to talk again, now that he was sober. And we talked about cheating and what it means to us and he was very sweet. And then we kinda had a fight, but it was my fault. You're gonna drag me for this, Mateo, like-"

"What! Why do you always think that, Alice!" he cuts me off.

"Because! You'll say you knew or something. I know you! Anyways, he called me out on being too independent and not opening up to him enough. And we had a real talk. And dealt with it like adults? It was very refreshing. And then, we had a cute little afternoon together, and then went for a drive in the evening. And he told me he loved me."

They both gasp and 'aw' and look so happy for me. It feels a bit odd to be on the receiving end of it all, but I can get used to that!

"So yeah! That's pretty much all that's new with me. How about you guys, what's up?" I ask, trying to steer the conversation away from me.

We talk about the guys' school, and work, and the latest Drag Race elimination. We spend the afternoon hanging out, and then the Sunday night blues hit. I thank my friends for a great day and leave to go back home.

I really love my friends, and I love Shawn, but I feel so good back on my own. I make myself supper and relax, getting ready for a new week at work.