Don't Wake Me Up - Shawn Mendes

PART THIRTY NINE

 We wake up the next morning still on the couch. We must've fallen asleep talking in each other's arms. I guess we didn't want the night to end. I mean, I know Shawn is excited for tour, but I know a piece of him will still stay behind with me.

I make us one last breakfast — I may have brought my waffle iron from home — and we eat at the kitchen table.

"What time are you leaving for the airport, again?" I ask Shawn.

"Uhm, the car should be here around 10, but Andrew's gonna text me. You're coming, right?"

"Uh can I? Will there be room for me in the car? I don't wanna be any trouble."

"Alice, I don't care if Brian has to be in the trunk, you're coming with me to the airport," he says with a straight face.

I laugh. I guess I have to get dressed now!

"Oh and Alice?" Shawn says as I make my way to his bedroom.

"Yeah?"

"I know you have a key an everything, and a lot of your stuff is here already..." he trails off.

"Yeah...?" I say, hiding that I know where he's going with this.

"Well, this is kinda last minute, I mean, you're already house sitting, but I mean..." he pauses again.

I hide a smile. He continues:

"Just, like, if you want to move more stuff here. I mean, that's cool with me."

"Oh it's cool with you, eh?" I tease him.

"Alice!" he says, looking at me with a face pleading me to stop teasing him. "Look, I know it's early. I know you like to have your space. But while I'm gone, if you want to make my place a bit more your home,"

"It's cool with you!" I cut him off and laugh.

"Ugh, you're making it so hard to be cute!" he jokes. "I'm just saying that I'd love to come home to you, Alice."

Wow. I feel like an asshole for teasing him, now. Like he said, it's still soon to move in here completely, but I'm not against the idea. I feel tears well up in my eyes.

"Oh no, honey, don't cry!" Shawn says as he pulls me into a hug.

I smile against his chest as I hug him back.

"I'm sorry babe, I'm emotional! But I love that. I'll always be your home."

We share a kiss and let go of our embrace to get ready to leave. A few minutes later, Shawn gets a text that the van is downstairs. We gather all his luggage and head down. We get in the van, and no one is surprised to see me. I guess that makes sense; they expected me to stay til the very end.

The drive to Pearson is about a half hour, and Shawn and I hold hands the whole time. I can feel him getting pumped with the guys, I mean, this is a big adventure he's embarking on! I love to see his face lit up like that. But I also feel his hand squeeze mine a bit tighter at every sign on the road that indicates we're heading to the airport.

We finally get there. There's already a lot of fans waiting outside for a selfie. Shawn and I stay in the van a bit longer while the rest of the guys unload everything.

"So. This is it," I say through a bitter smile.

"God, I'll miss you," Shawn says, and I see he's trying to hide it, but he's also getting emotional.

"You won't even have time to miss me!" I try to joke to reassure him. "Come here."

I pull him into another kiss. His lips are strongly pressing against mine, and his jaw moves passionately. I smile through the kiss and Shawn feels it. We're interrupted by someone banging on the car frame.

"Alright lovebirds, we have to go!" we hear Brian's muffled voice say from outside.

"Coming!" Shawn yells. "Alice, I love you. I'll text you when I land. I love you."

He gives me a quick smooch.

"I love you too, Shawn. You can read my letter on the plane. On the plane, only!" I insist. "Have a safe flight. Now go! Go! Go!" I send him off with a smile.

I watch him exit the van, and walk towards the girls that had gathered at the entrance. He takes a few steps and looks back towards me. I know he can't see me through the tinted windows, but I smile at him anyway. And the driver takes off.

I ask him to drop me off at my apartment. When I get there, I take a look around, and I realize that I'm fine leaving this place behind. Sure, I've had a lot of good times here, made nice memories, but I'm excited to give Shawn and I a new start. A step in the serious direction.

I pack a bag with some of the most important stuff — that isn't already at Shawn's place — and the food I still had and needed to eat soon. I take the subway to Shawn's place, and unpack. It seems empty without him. But as soon as I unpack my food in the fridge, I'm reminded of how much of a dream this kitchen is, and I feel better. I start a movie on the big TV, and spend the morning in. I text Shawn, knowing I shouldn't expect a reply anytime soon, but he did say I should blow up his phone...

"Hi babe, I hope you're having a safe flight. I just got back to your place and, I guess I should start calling it our place! Text me when you land, love you."

I get my computer and my notebook out. I write out a list of Shawn's tour dates and which city he's gonna be in at that time. I try to line it up with my personal schedule, and immediately send an email to my boss asking for a bit of time off. I mean, I've been banking a lot of overtime, thinking one day I'll have a good reason to use it: what better reason than to visit my boyfriend on the European leg of his World Tour? Now, I know I won't hear from her until Monday, but just the thought of surprising Shawn puts me in a cheerful mood.

My notebook is already out, so might as well keep making lists! I start writing about what I can do around Shawn's place to make it a bit more my own without completely changing it. I also list the stuff I have in my apartment that I won't need anymore and need to sell. All in all, a productive day.

The evening plunged the apartment in darkness, but I didn't realize it until it was pitch black. I light a lamp in the living room. I'm just starting a new episode when my phone quacks. I never get used to the first quack breaking the silence, but I've now associated the sound with Shawn — he's the only one I talk to on the phone, really — so I hurriedly pick up:

"Hi baby! How are you?"

"Hi Alice! I'm good, just landed! We're on the way to the hotel now. Just trying to get used to the time difference. What time is it for you?"

"Nuh-uh! Don't check that! You have to trick your body and your mind into thinking it's the time it really is!"

"Okay, fine!" he laughs, "How was your day? Night?"

"My day was good. I don't know if you saw my text? But I've already started settling into our place."

"Yeah, like your crap isn't already all over the apartment!" he teases me.

I laugh with him. At least he already knew I was a bit messy before asking me to move in!

"Well, now that I can have my own storage space and stuff like that, I'll be much better, promise!"

"Kay, thanks!" Shawn yells in the phone. "Babe, sorry, we just made it to the hotel, I have to hang up. I love you, keep texting me. I'll talk to you tomorrow!"

"Okay, bye!" and I smack my lips to send him a kiss.

I hang up and I realize I still haven't listened to my song. Your Song. I get up in a hurry and go grab the flash drive from my bag. I plug it into my computer and open the only file on there: Your_Song.MP3

If I didn't listen to it 35 times in a row, I didn't listen to it at all. I laughed, I cried, I danced, I sat with my eyes closed. I felt all possible emotions. Happiness, sadness, disbelief, gratitude, guilt, pride. I know the song will be a single, and a success. And I can't believe I inspired it. I can't wait to hear it on the radio, and for Shawn to perform it live. I can't wait to see his smile and feel his energy. I keep it on repeat as I fall asleep.

*And you'll never see, you sing me to sleep every night from the radio*