Don't Wake Me Up - Shawn Mendes

PART THIRTY THREE

"Hey, did you see the live?"

I reply to Shawn right away:

"Uh yeah, I just did. What was that?"

"Where are you right now? I need to see you. I'll explain."

"I just got out at Summerhill. I can turn back and meet you again if you want."

"Can't wait."

So I head back down into the subway station and catch the one going in the opposite direction. I sit in silence in the almost empty subway car. I'm so confused right now. I don't know what to think. What does the announcement change? Will the thoughts come back? Are they only gone because I ended it with Shawn or would they have passed anyway? Did him telling people (lies!) about me really change anything? Am I mad at that or relieved?

I make it to Shawn's place after a few minutes. I wonder what he'll say. I'm about to text him I'm here when the doors of the building open: he was waiting for me in the lobby. He pulls me in a tight hug that I reciprocate. I still don't know what he's gonna say, but it feels so good to be with him.

We don't say a word as we make our way to the apartment. When we finally get there, Shawn takes my hand and drags me to the living room and we both sit down.

"So, you saw me go live on Instagram, right?" Shawn asks me.

"I did. I was a bit surprised, to be honest," I tell him.

"Good surprised, or?" he asks, a hint of worry in his voice.

"Well, it'll depend on what you say next, I guess. You know I'd give anything to go back to normal, but I can't shake this feeling. And I definitely don't respond well to being forced into anything!" I say.

"Babe, I know you can't shake those thoughts, and I wish I could find the words to tell you you have nothing to worry about. But I realized that anxiety isn't something that can be rationalized. I know it makes you want to shut people out and you thought this would help you not get hurt. But I think you still got hurt. And so did I. But the reason I went live today, the reason why I called you back here, is because I think that if people know about you — or at least about the special person in my life — it should reassure you about the girls coming to my shows. They know I'm off the market, now. They know not to try anything, and that even if they did, I'd be uninterested. And most importantly, I wanted to show you how serious I am about you. Show you I mean it every time I tell you that I love you, that I never want to lose you. That you're the only girl for me. Ever," he pauses. "Did I- does it help?" he finally says, holding my gaze, waiting for me to say something.

I take in all his words. I think for a moment, and I realize that it did make me feel better. That I do know Shawn wouldn't do this, but that if I was worried about the temptations out there, this did take away a lot of them. I mean, Girl Code, right? I stare back up at Shawn, and take his hand in mine.

"I think it did," I say as a shy smile spreads across my face.

Not a second later, I feel Shawn's weight on me. He hurled himself forward to kiss me and knocked us backward. I keep smiling and laughing through the kisses he plants on my lips and cheeks, and I just wrap my arms around his body to hold him close. We stay like this as we finish laughing. My heart feels so full again. The grey cloud has been lifted from my mind, and I'm ready to be happy now.

"Oh! That reminds me!" Shawn says as he sits up, "I got you something."

"What?" I say as I watch him walk to the kitchen. "When did you have time to get me something?"

"This afternoon. Right after you left," he says as he walks back with a beautiful blue box I would recognize anywhere.

"Shawn. You didn't. You didn't have to! Oh my god."

"It's nothing, just a little reminder," he says as he hands it to me.

I give him a puzzled look before opening the Tiffany's box. In there is a beautiful smile pendant necklace, and just underneath, I can see Shawn slipped a little note that says, in his messy hand writing, "You're mine, too."

I look up at him, so moved by this present, but as soon as I see the pure smile on his face, I can't help but smile back.

"This is gorgeous, babe."

I bring myself closer to him and give him a kiss. I pull him into a hug, and whisper in his ear:

"I'll never forget it."

He squeezes me even harder in his arms and kisses me again. When he lets go, he says:

"Okay, turn around! Let me see it on you."

I turn around and lift up my hair so Shawn can secure the necklace around my neck. I can feel his cold fingers on my skin and a shiver travels up my spine. He flips me so I face him, and takes a look at me. I bring my hand to the cold silver and smile. Shawn brings his hand to my chin and lifts it. It's not long before we're kissing again, and all I'm wearing is this necklace. Just as I feel Shawn's hand slide down my side, we're interrupted by the phone ringing.

"Really? The classic ringtone? So basic," I tease him.

"Oh shit. It's Andrew. I better take this," Shawn says, suddenly a tad panicked.

"Yeah, after the stunt you pulled this afternoon!"

Shawn gets up off of me and puts his pants back on. He picks up his phone from the coffee table and answers as he walks to his bedroom.

"Hey! Andrew! My man!" he says in an exaggerated way.

I snicker on the couch as I grab a hoodie from the chair. It was getting cold, naked like that with no one's touch to warm me up. I cup my own boobs to warm my hands — oh come on, we've all done it! — and I realize that I probably won't be able to wait for Shawn to finish that phone call...