I Missed You (Bucky x Reader)

~Chapter 31~

He had to do it. He hated himself for it but he had to do it. It was the only way he'd get you to leave.
He lied to you by saying he barely remembered what you two had. The thing is, he did remember, he remembered a lot, maybe not everything, but enough to know you almost as well as back in the 40s. It was hard saying those words, and when he saw the hurt in your eyes he wanted nothing more than to take them back and to wrap you in his arms tightly. Part of him was also scared to go with you, not because he didn't trust you or Steve, he did, but because he didn't trust himself.

He was now back in his small apartment. Your visit had made him a lot more paranoid, knowing that if you had found him it meant that more people would be able to find him. This voice in his head kept telling him that he should find a new place to hide, that he wasn't safe anymore, but there was also another voice in his head telling him to trust you.
After walking through the door, he takes his jacket off and hangs it on a hanger next to the door. Just as he does so, something falls from the pocket of his worn out jacket. He frowns, confused, before slowly crouching down and cautiously taking the small picture in his hand. His tensed up muscles relax the second he sees it. It was a picture of you and him back in the 40s. You had probably slipped it in his pocket without him noticing. A smile appears on his face as he analyzes the black and white image. You and Bucky both had a bright smile on your face as Bucky held you close with his hand around your waist, and you rested your head on his shoulder. You were both wearing elegant clothes, meaning it was probably one of those nights when he used to take you dancing. God, he loved those nights. He loved seeing you laugh when he spun you around and the way your hair would flow as you moved. He loved looking into your y/e/c eyes after dancing to an upbeat song and seeing the enthusiasm and energy shine through them. He loved the electricity he would feel from just a slight touch of your fingers and the way your lips felt perfectly on his. He loved your spontaneity and the times when you said "I love you" out of nowhere, earning a bright smile and a kiss from Bucky. He loved the way you said his name and especially those nights together when you would just cuddle and you played with his short curls as he stroked your cheek. He loved every single thing about you.
Bucky sighs as he takes a seat on a chair in the kitchen as he keeps remembering more details. He turns the picture around mostly unconsciously and sees something written on it: I'm not giving up on you, Buck. Cause I'm with you till the end of the line, remember? Here's my number if you decide to change your mind, jerk. He chuckles and shakes his head at your new attempt at making him change his mind. Something hadn't changed; you were still as stubborn and determined as before.

Bucky lightly strokes your face in the picture before standing up to grab a small notebook on the top of his fridge. He started this notebook when the memories started coming back, and he wrote every single thing he remembered, not wanting to forget again.
He opens it and flicks through the word-filled pages until he reaches the end where he keeps a few more pictures. One is of Steve and the other one of you. The both of you wearing your suits. He was able to get ahold of these pictures when he visited The Smithsonian, not long after he had pulled you and Steve from the river. He places the new picture you gave him in between the pages before sighing and closing the notebook.

~•~

You sit on one of the couches in the living room skipping through the TV channels trying to find something to kill the time. You were trying to distract yourself with anything you could to take your mind off Bucky at least for a while, and not having the rest of the team around made it ten times harder. The thing is, even though you've known Bucky was alive for two years now, your brain is still trying to come to terms with the fact that you talked to him barely 15 hours ago.
You were able to slip the picture of the two of you with your phone number on it without Bucky realizing. You knew he had probably found it by now, and part of you really expected him to call.