𝘾𝙍𝘼𝙎𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙊 𝙔𝙊𝙐 ↣ 𝙊𝙉𝙀 𝘿𝙄𝙍𝙀𝘾𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉

twenty - more than this

[i'm allowed to be hurt
i was thrown away like garbage
that was my worth]

____________________________________

"I can't believe it's over," I said. It was the first thing any of us had said in a good five minutes. We were all in the bus, packing up any loose belongings.

"I can't wait to go back to England and sleep in my own bed," Liam laughed from behind me.

All of the boys had something they missed, something they had been waiting to get back to. But me? The tour bus was the only home I'd ever had. And I wasn't exactly ready to leave it behind.

"Is everyone ready?" Zayn asked from somewhere in the bus. The boys chorused back their yeses. I mumbled mine.

"You coming?" Liam asked. He was in the doorway of the bunk room, looking at me expectantly. I gave him a weak smile.

"Yeah, I am. I'll be right out," I said. He nodded and grabbed my suitcases, before disappearing. I heard the bus door close, confirming that I was alone. I let out a sad sigh.

My head rested against the wall and a tear dropped off my nose. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to pull myself together.

"You coming?" Niall asked, popping his head into the bunk room. I sniffled and nodded. "Hey, woah. What's wrong, Mick?"

"Nothing," I said, wiping my eyes, "It's nothing."

"It's not nothing," Niall said, taking my hands in his and making me sit down. "Do you remember the first night you ever stayed here? You had a nightmare," Niall said. I nodded thoughtfully.

"You were the first person I ever opened up to about anything like that."

"You don't want to leave because this is right where you found a home and a family," Niall said.

"It's dumb."

"No, it isn't. It's okay to want to hold onto good things. Especially after everything it took for you to get here? It's not fair for any of us to expect you to walk away from this like we can. I'm sure it's hard," Niall said.

"I'm scared to death of what comes next," I confessed.

"Then it's a good thing you have your big, strong, incredibly handsome older brother by your side," Niall said seriously. We both broke into a laugh, and I was the first to stand up.

"We should go, I don't want to keep the boys waiting," I said.

"You're sure you're ready?"

"Nothing lasts forever," I said with a shrug. "I'm sure we have even more adventures ahead of us, anyways."

"We definitely do."

-

An hour later, we were at the Portland City airport. Everyone was getting on different flights. We walked together until the first gate, which was Zayns.

"Try to stay out of trouble," He said to me when I hugged him.

"I should be telling you that," I teased. We waved with sad smiles as he disappeared down his terminal.

-

Liam was next. He pulled me into a strong hug and seemed reluctant to let go. "It's only two weeks," He said.

"I'll be fine, Li. Tell your family I said hi," I said, wiggling out of his grip. He nodded and walked away from the remaining four of us.

-