Of Knights and Men - Jack Whitehall x Y/N fanfic.

12

"Do you really like Phillip?" Mum asks me, sitting at the table.

"Phillip?" I take a sip of tea.

"Th-That boy you brought with you..."

"Jack?" I put my mug back down.

"Yes! Him."

I shake my head laughing, "Yes, Mum. Why do you think I brought him home? I knew as soon as you heard his voice you would fecking hate him."

"I don't know what your talking about. It's all your Da. I thought Phillip was a very nice boy when I met him."

"Jack, Mum. His name is Jack."

She doesn't even bother to listen to my correction, "I will say, I had been dicey at the beginning, in defense of you. Are you being safe? Like, in the bedroom."

"You did not just ask me that question."

"I just want to make sure. I don't want you coming home next christmas with a baby bump. Or aids. Jesus, that was the only british man I liked, Freddie, what's his last name?"

"Mercury?"

"Yes! Yes Freddie Mercury," She delicately crosses her hands and looks outside to the cloudy Irish morning. "And Phillip of course."

"His name is still Jack, Mum."

She looks at me confused, "What did I say?"

"Phillip, you've been saying Phillip."

"No I haven't," She scoffs. "Jesus I know his name, Y/N."

Then the phone rings. She uses her stout legs to hop over to the house phone hung on the wall. I always found hilarious how she was so short she was shorter than the house phones mount on the wall.

"Hello?...Oh, she's just here drinking tea...Yep,
she brought him...Oh Jesus no...Yes, yes. I'll send her and Phillip down..."

I sigh. "Jack!" I angrily stand up.

"I'm on the phone with Mary, Y/N what do you want?"

I shake my head and walk into the living room, "I want nothing."

I sit on the couch, careful not to spill my tea.

"So where is Phillip?" Michel looks over to me laughing.

"Ja-" I look over at his smirk. "Sleeping. Not everyone one of wakes up to the sound of Da's foot steps."

"Those footsteps are terrifying, I don't know how the entire county doesn't."

"He wakes up the sheep that's for sure."

•••

By Thursday the family had started to warm up to him. Mum was still calling him Phillip, and I gave up on correcting her.

"Tell me Phillip, do you know anything about cars?" Da asks us sitting at the dining room table.

"No sir. I don't drive."

"Did you're parents neglect to teach you?"

"Well I grew up in the city, there was never any need to. I always had someone to get me where I was going," He looks at me waiting for me to laugh with him, but I just shake my head. Da sits back in his chair almost disappointed.

He sits up, "But I'd be honored to be taught by you, though. Mr...Sir."

"Well, we'll have to see if we get a car that you can wreck in the shop," He looks at me laughing. Jack laughs, in a peer pressured way, I just roll my eyes at them both.

"HelloooooOoo?" Daniel says walking through the front door. He leaves luggage on the ground and hugs Mum.

Da stands up, "Hey Son," they pat each others back in a hug. "Nice to have you home."

"Well it's only for a bit."

Then behind him, comes her. Tanya. The anything in law of our parents dreams.

I pull him over to me, "You brought it with you?"

"Well, I see you brought yours."

"Yes, Daniel, what a great observation," I cross my arms. "Mine will win."

"Yes, but yours is English. Or, as I heard London English. Mine is Scottish."

"Still the UK, eejit."

"How many times has Phillip been called an eejit this week?"

"His name is Jack!" I throw my arms up.

Tanya walks up next to Daniel, "Hey Y/N! It's so good to see you!" She comes in to hug me, and I have to hug her back.

"Hey Tanya! I heard you got that job in Dubai."

She smiles, "I guess it was just time to get out of Glasgow, huh?" She nobly looks up at Daniel, wrapping her arm around his. "But I heard you brought your boyfriend?"

I call Jack over to us, "Yeah, yeah. This is Jack."

He shakes Tanya's hand, "Hi," She sweetly smiles to him. "It's good to finally meet you. I've only ever seen the pictures."

"That's the first time I heard that one out here," Jack laughs, Tanya politely does.

"Y/N!" Mum calls to us. "Your Uncle wants you to go help at the farm."

"With what?" I call back.

"He said something about Sofie..."

"Her Baby?!" I jump.

She shakes her head, "Take Phillip with you."

I grab his hand, "Come on!" And run to my bedroom. "You're gonna want to wear crappy clothes."

•••

I jump out of the car and run to the barn, "Uncle Charlie?!" I yell, looking into barn stalls. I can hear Jack pant as he tries to keep up with me.

"We're in 5!" I hear him yell. I run to the farthest stall where the moans are coming from. I run in and sit next to her, petting her head.

"Sofie, is a, donkey?" Jack asks me, coming in view of the barn.

"If you're not going to help stay quiet you english prick," Uncle Charlie gives him a single glance.

"Ok..." I can hear his volume change to look at the ground.

"You know what to do?" Uncle nods to me. I nod in response.

"Ok Sofie. You got this. We've been waiting for a little donkey, right? We knew it was going to be painful. But I mean, isn't everything."

I can hear Jack laugh at my conversation, and shut up as soon as the birth happens. By the end Jacks eyes are shut tight and his hands are covering his ears.

He slowly releases them, "Are you done?"

"Mmhmm," I answer, feeding the baby milk while Sofie rests.

"I better go put him in the books before I forget," Uncle Charlie waddles out of the barn. When he leaves Jack enters the stable. He leans on the wall and smiles at me on the ground covered in Donkey juices.

"What?" I laugh, looking up at him.

"I just watched my girlfriend birth an Ass."

I shake my head laughing, "What am I supposed to name this ass then?"

He laughs and sits next to me, "He looks like a Jack."

I put my head on his chest, the baby in my arms drinking the formula milk. "What about Jackass?"

He laughs, "I love it."

I look up at him, and smile. I look back at Jackass chugging his bottle. "Is my home everything you hoped it would be."

"Well, besides the fact everyone hates me, it's nice."

I let my eyes close, "Well, that's a side effect to the accent."

"At least I'm not American."

"No, I think it would be better if you were American."