Shut Up Kristyn! | Misc

17 | out of context texts from me pt 2

Honestly I could keep going with this and make a whole series. I text my friends some weird ass shit.

—"i mean i always chop up sofas with an axe when i'm angry"

—"who is the pope" "shakira"

—me: "we're at a lu'au and there are these guys sitting at our table with us who keep staring at me and my friend"
friend: "ew gross, run"
me: "i can't i'm at a lu'au" (pre-Covid)

—"some guy came up to my great uncle raymond at church and went 'you're still alive!'"

—"it doesn't even look like a hickey, it just looks like you got punched in the neck"

—"thanks it's not like i needed that response 26 hours ago or anything"

—"when you have a fetish for small, vulnerable girls who you could crack in half if you wanted to because you have to assert your dominance since you're not threatening❤️"

—"BECAUSE I'M MID-MENTAL BREAKDOWN. BRITNEY SPEARS SHAVED HER HEAD, I TRY TO SEE HOW MANY KAZOOS I CAN PLAY AT ONCE. WE ALL HAVE OUR COPING MECHANISMS"

—"i cried 5 times tonight and once was because of a car commercial"

—"'there was a lingerie item found in the hallway' was just said over the announcements"

—"bitch i am too tired for this"

—"LOVE POPULARITY AND SUCC"

—"if i still had editing software i would make a fancam of king dedede"

—"what are you doing in the middle of a jungle gym looking like you're questioning your entire existence"

—"congratulations! you've completed the act of being an absolute dick! you've automatically claimed your prize of never having a shred of my respect ever again!"

—"we were literally doing a hoedown song and then 10 minutes later we're in a tropical island caribbean setting and i was like 'alright'"

—"i was 11 and an embarrassment to society"

—"[friend] dancing like that is what i see in the corner of my room when i have sleep paralysis"

—"my dad put a knife in the fridge"

—"i was like 'nah fuck this i'm a dragon'"

—"she always said she was going to be famous and i'm like honey the only talent you have is being a bitch"

—"don't you hate when you see an ominous, run-down shack in the middle of the woods with a sign by the open door leading to pitch black darkness that says 'candy' and there isn't any candy inside? preposterous."

—"it wasn't that bad i just closed my eyes and shouted 'fuck me and my entire life' a few times"

—"the newborn son is too ugly' well so is your personality"

—"HELP, MY DAD WON'T STOP SINGING SUPER BASS"

—"you guys have fun fighting, i'm going to bed"

—"my favorite part is the abundance of chickens"

—"we were eating bbq wings and i had my liquid sunscreen by me and some of it spilled onto my hand so i was like 'forbidden ranch' and my dad was like '...what'"

—"i am such a bad cat mom"

—

"^this is what my camera roll looks like rn"

—"we can marry my webkinz"

—"bought a piece of land from scotland"

—"when you try to murder a 12 year old in broad daylight on hogwarts grounds😌just lucius things"

—"EW A NAZI"

—"not me finding a new artist to listen to and making her music my entire personality"

—"i'm feeling bullied so i'm gonna go back to making my ontari sim"

—"i told my dad i'm giving up on my hopes and dreams and marrying rich"

—"i can't stop thinking about madagascar 2"

—"the list of white men to fall in love with is endless. i am a white man's whore"

—"i fell in love with this guy at home depot"

—"'what did you do in prison?' 'got jacked'"

—"i'm gonna go to sleep now because the depression hit for no reason🥰🥰🥰"

—"'honey why is the baby on fire?' 'BUY ME MORE JEWLRY'"

—"queen shït" "shit" "stop censoring me autocorrect"

—"i just KNOW that mcu uncle ben was hot"

—"my uncle just told me that the ceiling has been caving in for the past 10 years and could collapse on us at any point in time and i was like 'oh'"

—"MR KRABS IS SUGAR DADDY"

—"i love how i'm 77% linguini"

Shoutout to my friends for dealing with my bs constantly 😗✌🏻

Also, yesterday I dyed my hair back to its natural color (I'm a brunette and have had highlights since early 2019) and my dad said "I don't like it" like ???? this is my NATURAL HAIR. YOU MADE ME THIS WAY. IT WAS LIKE THIS FOR THE FIRST SEVENTEEN AND A HALF YEARS OF MY LIFE, WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T LIKE IT???

It's a ~little~ darker than my natural hair since it used to be darker at the top and like half a shade lighter at the ends, but now it's all one color. But it'll fade with time & sun exposure.

Here are pics from my highlighted hair and what it looks like now. I just realized I'm wearing the SAME TOP in both versions which is ironic bc the other pics are from like November. Also the older ones have way better lighting, a warm filter, and I'm wearing makeup but in the second ones I'm not & I'm in my room which has v v poor lighting.

So if you've never seen my face before, dis me

Oh yeah I also got layers which is v weird cuz I haven't gotten those in probably 10 years. But here I am trying something new while simultaneously going back to my roots (literally).

OK BYE just wanted to share my new look with y'all :)