Conjuring Fire and Whispers of Air

Ostara

19th March

Today is Ostara, the spring equinox. This is meant to be new beginnings and the official start of spring—fertility, rebirth, and renewal.

But I can't shake off this low mood. I feel empty, and I want to keep crying for no reason.

Scratch that; there is a reason. Have I lost my coven? My friends?

I paused the entry there as a teardrop threatened to smudge the ink and decided to finish it later. I still did not go to school. The thought of potentially seeing them brought nothing but panic and sadness.

Leaning back away from my book, I took a moment to look at my phone. I switched it off. I knew this was avoidance. I did feared seeing hateful and angry text's from the little coven. I put my head in my hands and scratched my scalp as a soothing habit.

I could hear the TV quietly from my bedroom, but there was whispering underneath that. It was close. It was the same whispering I listened to the other night before Leo was tapping.

I listened closely, homing in on it. Turning my head, it was coming from my bed. The voices came from underneath it.

The black velvet pouch sat clear as day in the centre, under the dusty storage/cat hideaway.

'How did it get there?'

I last recalled it on top of my grandma's book. Shuffling under the bed, I reached for it; the voices got louder, almost deafening.

Pulling it out, the voices stopped. It did not feel different from when I found it hidden under the floorboards. It was suspicious; something did not feel right.

I decided it would be better under the stairs. Walking into the room, the candles were in a neat line on the bookshelf, and the altar had been cleaned down. Ready for new decorations. I placed it into the cauldron and placed the lid on top; it and its energy would be trapped until I was prepared to investigate it.

I felt a wave of fatigue wash over me and joined my mum on the sofa. We cuddled as I fell asleep.

I woke alone as the front door opened.

"I'm home!" Alex announced.

"Welcome home," I yawned.

"Oh, you have a visitor..." Alex motioned to the door, and I saw a sheepish Seri standing.

"Seri?" I said groggily.

"Hi," she let herself in, closing the door behind her.

With a sudden burst of energy, I got up to hug her but paused. Did she want me near her?

"I'm sorry, Lexi," she sniffed, and I held my breath, "I am sorry I did nothing. I am sorry you had to keep it a secret. I am sorry you had to deal with this alone," she cried.

I hugged her tightly, shaking my head, "I hated keeping it from you, but I had no choice. It was decided by the coven – by Nixon. That it would be best kept quiet."

"I tried looking for you yesterday at school, but Devan told me you were not well."

"Ah, I am not sick," I revealed, "I was scared to see you all. What you would say..." tears formed in my eyes.

"Oh gosh! I am so sorry," she gushed and held me tighter.

"Stop saying sorry," I laughed and cried.

Happier to have my best friend back, "I am sorry if you tried to call or text. I turned my phone off."