29. | The Right Thing To Do

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"Hey there, fallen angel

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"Hey there, fallen angel." Kasey strolls up to my desk.

I smile. "Are you ever gonna let go of that nickname?"

He seems to think about it. "Nope." He leans down on my desk. "I need to ask a favor of you."

"What is it?"

"Mine and Eira's anniversary is today, and we wanted to go out tonight, but we don't have anyone to watch Azzy. I'd ask Rhys, but he's busy. So are you up for it?" He raises a brow.

I shrug. "Sure. I don't mind watching her."

"Great." He snaps his fingers, grinning. "I'll drop her off later today. Message me your address."

He starts to walk away, but I stop him. "I— I don't have your number."

"Right." He grabs a post-it note and a pen, then writes a number on it. "I'll message you when I'm getting her ready."

He slides it over to me, and I take it. "Looking forward to it." I smile at him, and he smiles back before he walks away.

I read the paper. Maybe this will give me the distraction I need.

***

There's a knock at my door.

Opening it, I find Kasey standing beside Eira with Azzy in his arms. "Nomi!" She squeals.

"Hi!" I laugh, taking her from Kasey. "How are you?"

"Amazing!" She grins, kicking her legs. I smile at her.

"Thank you so much for watching her." Eira says.

"Of course. You two enjoy your anniversary." I smile at her, and she smiles back at me in thanks.

Kasey hands me a bag. "Here's her diaper bag. It's got a few toys, her tablet, pullups, pajamas, all that. You got it from here?"

"Of course. I used to babysit my cousins all the time, I'm sure this won't be any different." I smile, close-mouthed, at him.

"Okay. We'll be back later tonight."

"Enjoy."

"Be good for Naomi, okay?" Kasey runs a hand over her hair. She grins as Eira places a kiss to her forehead, waving bye.

"Say bye-bye." I wave, and she follows me, waving at her parents as they get in their car and drive away. I close the door and turn to her. "What do you want to do first?"

She taps her chin, as if thinking about it. She shrugs, holding her hands out, "I don't know."

"Hm... We could bake? Or...watch a movie?"

"Bake! We bake cookies!" She squirms in my grasp.

I chuckle, adjusting her on my hip. "Okay, then. Cookies it is." I carry her to the kitchen, where I set her down on the island. I make sure to take her shoes off and set them on a stool before I begin taking out the supplies.

"We should play music!" She squeals.

"Okay." I giggle. I grab my phone and connect it to the speaker in my kitchen. "You know how to type in music?" She nods excitedly, and I hand her my phone.

"How to spell Taylor Swift?" She questions, tilting her head. I giggle, walking to her.

I take my phone. "Which song?"

"The one where she say build a castle!" She grins.

"New Romantics. Good choice." I smile, typing it in and hitting play before it comes through the speakers.

We dance to the music as I start making the dough for the cookies. Once I start to add chocolate chips and chunks — that she wanted added — into the mix, she starts a conversation.

"We should call Uncle Ree-Ree!" She grabs my phone, but I rush to her.

"Ah, no. Sorry, but, Uncle Ree-Ree is busy, okay?" I set my phone on the counter, where she can't get it.

"But he always hang out with me." She pouts.

I sigh. "Look, Azzy, your uncle and I... We're in the middle of a little...argument."

"About what?" She asks, innocently.

"Your uncle...uhm...wants something with me, that I'm not ready for. He... He wants to be with me, like your daddy is with your mommy."

"So I'd have a baby sibling?" She tilts her head in confusion.

I laugh softly. "Not sibling. It'd be your cousin, but we're not to that stage. This is before a baby comes into play. Your uncle wants to be with me. Like...kissing."

"So why not?"

"Because...I'm not ready to give him that. And I don't want him to wait on me, because I don't know when I'll be ready. Okay? So Uncle Ree-Ree..." My bottom lip trembles. "Cannot come and hang out with us."

"Aww." She frowns.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Is okay." She shrugs with her arms out.

I smile at her. If only things were that simple.

"Here," I hand her my phone. "Watch something on my phone while I go use the bathroom, okay?" I raise a brow at her. She nods, and I slip away, to the bathroom.

Stepping inside, I lean against the sink, my breathing heavy. My eyes swell with tears and they slip down my cheeks as I look up in the mirror.

God, I feel like shit. I hate letting him down. I've wanted to call him. To text him and tell him that I want a relationship with him. That I want to be with him. But that's not fair to him. So I don't. I keep my thoughts to myself and let him live on.

Because that's the right thing to do, right? To let him live and move on? It's better that way, anyway.

That way no one gets hurt.

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