The first woman | supernatural | book one of the goddess series

13

Dean was confused. He was trying to figure her out but he just couldn't. She was complicated.

When they first saw her she was kind and generous caring for the homeless and healing people but when they went to her hotel room she was hostile towards them.

She completely shut them down, she was snappy and rude and she was honestly a total badass. Then she turned up to help at the hotel with the gods.

She protected them. That was generous of her, she didn't have to. Not only that but she was completely badass.

Then she lost Gabriel and she was down in the dumps for a couple days but she seemed to perk right back up again.

Since then she's been happy and sweet - other then when she saw Crowley. She's been like cas, almost robotic in the sense that she wasn't understanding humour or making any sarcastic remarks - until pestilence when she became the version of her that they first met.

He didn't understand. He didn't understand why she kept switching back and forth. She was inconsistent.

As he was contemplating this he remembered how hard it was for him to lose his father, even if he wasn't the greatest dad in the world, it still felt like a peice of him was missing and he tried to fill it any way he could.
He remembered what it was like for Sam to lose Jess.

And then he understood, her grief. After losing Gabriel she changed, she became quieter for a while still making snarky comments every now and then and then it was almost as if she flipped a switch. Being more positive. She was almost drowning out the negativity.

She had a couple difficult moments where he could see the pain in her eyes, but she almost immediately covered it up.

He thought about when Sam had used the sigil on her and the look of betrayal on her face.

She had built up these walls around her and finally began to let them down around the pair of them and then Sam did what he did and she almost started building them back up again ; just with a different type of brick.

He just wanted her to be herself. He thought she was awesome. The way she stood up for herself. Her backstory. Everything.

"Dean." A voice pulled him out of his thoughts, it was Genevieve.

"Yes, gen?" His eyes flicked back to her in the mirror, she had told them that she couldn't save anyone and from then on she had been quiet. He was rather surprised to hear her talking.

"How long until we get to Bobby's?" She hated car journeys. She knew she could just teleport but she wanted to stay with the brothers, and castiel to protect them in case something happened to them on the way. She may not have been great at protecting others but she would die before she let anything happen to them.

He sighed. "I don't know Gen, a couple hours maybe."

"Okay." She replied, before going back to staring out the window.

Castiel was asleep next to her, and Sam was asleep in the front next to Dean. So Dean took this as an opportunity to talk to her, ask her about what she had been thinking about, what he had been thinking about without anyone thinking he was soft.

"That was uh pretty badass. What you did back there with Pestilence. The way you spoke to him. You're pretty tough." Dean stated, trying to not be too "mushy" but also not too "rough." Emotional vulnerability was not really his thing.

"Thanks." Genevieve murmured. She liked being able to be a "bad ass" as Dean had put it but she also liked being bubbly and happy- sometimes.  The truth was after Gabriel died she wanted to remember him so she thought by smiling and being happy she would always have a part of him.  It was stupid really as it hadn't really worked, but positivity attracts positivity.