My Unfortunate Fate

chapter 1

Feelings lead to trust, which often blinds us.

I stared out at the sky of Coruscant as I stood motionless on a balcony of the Jedi Temple. The sun was setting. I'll always love watching one day come to an end before darkness and mystery takes over.

I longed for the day I would be a padawan. After all, my peers were advancing to that rank quickly. With growing tensions in the senate, the possibility of war was something the Jedi, peacekeepers of the galaxy, would not take lightly, enlisting more help from the younger as soon as they are ready.

I knew I was ready, too, but the decision to take the Initiate Trials was not mine to make, only the Council's.

I must not make this harder on myself.
Considering being out of the Youngling Training center at this hour would already be forbidden, I decided to return once my mind was clear and before my absence would be noticed.

I rushed through the tall halls of the Temple, hiding from anyone in my sight, until I reached the entrance of the training centre.

***

At thirteen years old, I considered myself more mature than many fellow learners, even some padawans, which could sometimes be an advantage or lead to my downfall. It wasn't pride per say, more likely confidence and self-awareness.

I think this trait I've found leads from how little I judge others, being willing to hear more than one perspective and consider aspects of a situation. However, I know even many Jedi masters who don't see things the same way, making them seem a bit one-sided.

I knew the trials would be a great challenge, that goes for any aspiring Jedi. But I could sense mine were approaching, through an indescribable feeling, a sixth sense—if you will.

Little to nothing was told of my birth family, only some rumours or tales I had been told in training. The most prevalent being that I was found by Jedi scouters on Alderaan, who compensated my family strongly with both credits and my honour in training. None of my heritage stayed along my path except my name, y/n y/l/n.

Many times, I've been to the archives to find bits of information about my family, however much of it was unavailable to me due to my lower rank and the confidentiality of the Order. Stories were spread about the Alderaan system, how it held so much beauty even from space, it makes me want to see it for myself.

The thought of snow-capped mountains and empty, silent valleys brought me such joy. It was such a peaceful place I would visit in my mind to leave the loud streets and strict order here in the capital.

Sometimes I wish I could have grown up somewhere other than the Jedi Temple.
However, I must recognize the honour I bring to myself and my surroundings and be grateful to fulfill this destiny.

I sat in my quarters with what was left of my youngling clan—Fiester clan—for hours, only thinking. There were an infinity of things I could think about, sometimes I got worked up and had times like these where I would step back and think for a while.

It tired me out and I knew the hour was far too late, so I layed on my mattress and drifted unconscious swiftly. So did my peers, we got quite good at not disturbing each other.

***

The sound of a morning chime woke us up, leading us to the mess hall. We ate while chatting and contemplating our plans for today's training.

"So, y/n, I think I overheard the High Council discussing your advancement," my friend Eyn says.

I almost choked on my food, hearing him say that. I didn't know such whispers would come so soon, and from the most prestigious of the Jedi Councils, as well. I had felt something, some kind of hope, but I wouldn't expect such a thing to manifest so soon. I am only a child, after all.

"And where did you hear that? Did you only sense it?" I put my hands up playfully while saying the last line, mocking him for some divine abilities he claims to have.

"I encountered some of the members leaving the council chamber and I heard your name in their murmurs, since I have such a good ear, so I would only assume this was about your ranking," he says in a confident tone.

"At least I might not have to put up with some of your stunts for much longer then, though I might not even pass the trials."

"Don't kid yourself, young y/l/n, you're probably the wisest of the Fiester clan, and you know how to use your abilities." He always liked joking with my last name, however Eyn Laric isn't much better for a name.

I knew what my friend said to be true. I'm aware of the abilities I possess, and one of those is knowing when to use them. I wouldn't waste my energy on a goal that cannot be achieved. I know many, if not all, actions have consequences.

I must have acquired that trait from Grand Master Yoda. He of all Jedi rarely throws himself into battle on a whim, and, if it does happen, it is only in the interest of protecting others at all costs.

***

We returned to our quarters and got ready for training.

My robe seemed smaller by the day every time I wore it. I knew, one day, it would outgrow me, and that day, I would no longer be a youngling.

I parted my hair down the middle and separated it in halves to braid, I do this most days if I have the time, but I occasionally lack patience and leave it down or in a single ponytail so as to not distract me during training.

The clan left for the training center and waited silently for our training to begin. Master Yoda entered and we respectfully greeted him before we began exercises.

***

Today's lesson was about control, so I picked up my lightsaber and ignited it to reflect into its green hue for a moment.
I then walked over to Eyn as we mutually agreed to partner up for this exercise.

We were instructed to have one person strike first, and the other had to do nothing until provoked. Eyn was attacking for our starting round, while I stood still until he tried to strike me down.

There was no danger of being killed or injured, as we could sense our movements and set our sabers to the lowest power setting.

My partner was a bit headstrong, but I insured my presence would calm him.
And it did, when I struck, I focused more on technique than strength, not letting him take advantage of my energy.

***

After that exercise, which somehow lasted until mid-afternoon, we were sent back to the mess hall.

Once we finished eating, I got up and returned my used dishes when I heard an announcement on the intercom. "Youngling y/n y/l/n of clan Fiester, requested at the Jedi high council, your presence is," Master Yoda says, famously scrambling the order of these words. "Begin in twenty minutes, your trials will."

I stood shocked and excited amongst my friends. I embraced everyone I grew up with, knowing this is probably the last time I'll see them.

Eyn was surprisingly emotional. Out of the clan, I was closest with him. Obviously, Jedi cannot form attachments, but that didn't stop us from having some sort of bond. I'll miss him.

I then parted ways with clan Fiester and wished them the best on their training. It was such a peaceful transition for a big step in my life, and I now knew how to let go.