My Unfortunate Fate

chapter 2

Big steps seem smaller as we take them.

I arrived at the council entrance a few minutes before my trials were said to begin, and I was welcomed with open arms. I bowed once I arrived in the center of the Masters' seats, in response, they nodded as a sign of respect.

"Youngling y/l/n," Mace Windu says.
"We have brought you here because your training has exceeded the abilities you need to take the Initiate Trials. The Council has deemed you ready to take these trials, tell me, do you feel the same way?" He leans forward in his seat.

I straighten my posture, playing out the situation in my head, knowing what would happen, somehow. "Yes. I know I am prepared to face these trials, and the challenges of their result."

The members look to each other in acknowledgement before leaning back into their seats, thinking amongst themselves about my response. "Good, good. So begin, we shall," Master Yoda states.

***

Then began the trials themselves.
First, theory. I was asked questions about the history of the Jedi Order, the code of the Jedi, the honour we bring and the morals we follow.

I sensed positive reactions to my answers, which made me optimistic.
I know they felt it too, that I knew their responses, and I think it furthered their trust in my abilities. The masters saw how grown up I was at such a young age, I wasn't sure whether they saw it as good or bad. Anything can go either way, it is only what you make of it.

***

Next was the physical portion.
I was given access to my lightsaber and had to fight off a hologram simulation. I, again, knew this test was not to determine whether I had skill or not, rather which skill I had developed.

My personal fighting style focused more on self-control than actually fighting an enemy, and the Council recognized the potential of my own inner strength to fight off urges. This was a powerful tool to escaping the dark side, to not give into temptation.

But these things can be unlearned and backfire to more lengths than I could imagine. In this moment, the masters recognized my growing fear and worry, and helped me let go.

***

I was sent into the meditation room shortly after so the Council could decide my fate privately, little did I know they were following my every move even while I was closed off, meditating.

"She seems to have much wisdom for a youngling." "There is no reason she would have failed this." I could hear the council speaking in my mind, engulfing me with fear that these words could not be true, that my senses are wrong.

My worry grew into frustration with myself. As I slowly left the peaceful meditated state I was in, I simply hung on to whatever quiet thoughts I had left. I scrunched my face up and tried to get past it.

This wasn't necessary, I think, clenching every muscle I had with all my will, to keep out the bad ideas, to stay focused.

I'm sweating profusely without knowing it, all my energy, all of the Force flowing within me focused on my brain, and I can't hold it anymore. I open my eyes and let out a gasp, looking down at the chair I sit on and seeing the marks in half-moons caused by my nails digging into the fabric.

This was hardly the first time meditation came back on me because of stress, though I would have been embarrassed to know that anyone was watching, much less the people who raised me.

***

I was called back into the Council circle after a few more minutes of catching my breath.

I stood in the center with my hands holding my wrists behind my back with a firm stance.

I was told that I would not advance as a Jedi Padawan, but instead would train to work for the Jedi Temple, either in the archives, as a guard, or elsewhere. I respected their choice, after all, the High Council did make decisions for the Order for a reason, I shall not let my personal greed overpower my self-discipline.

I bowed, paying my respects, and made my way down to the Council of Reassignment, where I was sent to the archival vault to train under Jocasta Nu. I was taught how to manipulate the artifacts, how to use mapping, and how to know where things are, all in my first day.

I adapted easily to the new teachings, though I sometimes glanced back in the direction of the tower of the High Council, wondering what I could have done differently and why I wasn't advancing to be a padawan.

I knew these things couldn't be changed, so I accepted the decision, this went on for a few weeks at most. The assignment was definitely more uneventful than being a Jedi Knight, but I made some friends here.

I actually ran into some of my former peers from clan Fiester and they were actually kind, if not a bit confused on the council's decision.

***

I was filing through some archival documents and had a weird feeling—again. I then turned my head to see Jocasta Nu holding her arm up to her head, as if she had a comlink of some sort.

She came up to me and informed me she had a task for me to complete outside the archives. I hoped it would be guard training of some sort, to diversify my opportunities, however it took me by surprise that I ended up back at the High Council.

"Why didn't the Council request my attendance?" I ask.
"Why bring me here by surprise?"

"They were afraid you might refuse, you seem glad to have this current assignment in the vault," Master Nu answers.

She was actually right. The job grew on me after a while, but I can still adjust to different situations, this one seemed a bit too sketchy. The Council never calls in a training Jedi informally, or so I thought. Perhaps secrecy in the numbers of the Jedi ranks was best if we are to keep the tradition alive in such a time of threat.

I'm not the best with politics, but I had heard the trade federation ordered an attack on the inoffensive capital of Naboo, about four years ago. So war is far from unlikely.

I was shaken from my thoughts as members of the High Council addressed me.

"You have great potential, y/n y/l/n, our final test proved us right."

I knew nothing of a final test, they all read through my puzzled look.

***

Every person in the room addressed me at some point, and the interaction boiled down to a few things; First of all, the meditation they studied from me showed my capacity but also my weakness. That I have the strength to control myself even if it causes me pain.

Second, the temple work assignment was my final trial, to show how I would react to surprise and my skills for adaptation. Finally, master Adi Gallia pledged to take me on as her padawan learner, who shared my skill in Form V combat.

"Welcome to the next stage of your Jedi training, Padawan y/l/n," she says.