Skirt [Yoonmin]

32.

Yoongi stared at the ticking clock on the wall. It felt like an eternity before the handle hit the next minute. He knew he had to work the following morning and he was still wide awake at two forty am.

It was impossible to sleep with his mind racing nonstop. The image of Jimin admitting he liked him in front of a childhood friend circled his mental religiously.

Finally, he sighed and turned the other way closing his eyes. He tried to think of nothing and maybe it would help to get a few hours of rest.

His quietness was abruptly interrupted by a knock on the door. His eyes swung open within seconds as Holly started barking. Visitors at such hours was unusual. 

"Holly, it's okay." He murmured as he tiptoed for the door. In reality he didn't know if it was truly okay. He could be walking to his death.

He nervously peeked through the peek hole to see his visitor. When he saw Jimin, instead of feeling safe his heart started racing.

Another knock made him gasp and he slowly opened the door. "Jimin? What—what are you doing here?" He whispered.

"I can't sleep. I'm sorry to barge in so late. I just really wanted to speak to you."

"O—okay. Do you want to come in?"

"Uhh...I'll rather talk to you elsewhere. Let's go out? Drive around?"

Yoongi looked down at his outfit. Over sized t-shirt, shorts, and fluffy socks. He was one hundred percent sure his hair was a mess. Looking at Jimin, he seemed like he had just gotten out of bed too so he agreed.

"Okay. Let me get my key." He said rushing to get it.

"Thank you for accepting. I know it's a crazy invitation." Jimin commented after they were out the door.

The air outside was very humid and hot. Jimin opened the door for him. When he was in his car he bit the inside of his lip.

Once Jimin got in the other side, he swiped all of his bad thoughts to the back of his mind. They buckled up and headed to nowhere in specific.

"So, what did you need to talk to me about?" Yoongi asked quietly.

"I've been meaning to tell you that even though I want you as a partner...I don't want to force us into a relationship. It has to be mutual and what I'm seeing is that you aren't ready for that step just yet. I don't know what you're going through right now. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry. I apologize for only thinking of myself and not your feelings. I've realized that I have never truly asked you how you felt or what you're going through."

Yoongi stared at the road signs ahead. As they approached a red light he turned to look at Jimin. "I don't know exactly what to say. I'm in a constant battle with myself."

"What kind of battle?"

"I guess whether I should be with you or not."

"Mmm." He replied continuing to drive when the light turned green. "Well, do you know we can talk about it?"

"I really don't know how." He responded.

"We don't have to be lovers, you know? It would make me sad if I don't get to have that with you, but I've decided that I'm not going to be selfish. With all my past relationships, I haven't been the best. I'm pretty hard head and impatient. I tend to be insensitive and impulsive. I don't know how to communicate my emotions and therefore it comes out like I don't care."

No you're perfect. It's me! I'm the problem. Yoongi wanted to scream. His fingernails were digging into his own palms and the knot in his throat got bigger.

"But trust me, I care so much about you. I swear to you I've never loved someone as much as I love you. I never even thought it was possible to feel so much in such a short period of time. I understand these emotions have evolved in four months and that I've known you for years. I just can't explain what changed. One day, you just walked in and woke up these feelings that were dormant. I just wanted you to know this. I needed you to hear me say it. At least once."

Yoongi stared at his lap as he quietly wept. Jimin waited a few seconds until he heard sniffles. "Hey, are you crying?" He asked glancing at him.

When he saw the tears he immediately pulled over on the side of the road. "Yoonji, don't cry. I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry." He whispered leaning closer.

"I don't want to give up." Was all he could say. The lump was too big for him to even get words out.

"Give up on what?"

"On this. I really don't."

"Then don't. I will fight with you. Whatever it is you're going through we will get through it together. I promise. Everything will be okay." He cooed holding his hand.

"How can you say that? You don't know that." He sniffled.

Jimin held his chin and forced him to look up. "I don't know that. You're absolutely right, but what I do know is that I want to be here for you. Today and always. I want to be with you through it all. No matter if it's ugly and dark. I want to be next to you for the rest of my life."

Yoongi swallowed hard and wiped his tears with the back of his hands. "What makes you love me huh?" He asked a bit defensively.

He knew it wasn't Jimin's fault. He had nothing to do with the body switch. It wasn't his fault that he fell in love with him through a female body. Yet, the frustration he felt was nameless.

Before Jimin could answer he spoke up again, "I'll go ahead and tell you the reasons why you shouldn't love me. I'm a messy eater, I'm anxious, an over thinker, and on top of that I have an absurd dream I'll never get. I know you don't want to date a loser like me. You won't be there to catch me if I fail."

Jimin smiled. Yoongi sighed defeatedly as he continued to wipe his tears. "You're—you're not suppose to smile. You're suppose to realize that I'm not the one for you—"

He cut him off by pulling him in for a hug. Yoongi hadn't realized how much he needed him this close. He rested his head against his chest in search of his warmth.

"You're pushing me away because you're scared. It's okay. I've been there before. I'm right here with you by your side. Stop trying to minimize your importance. You know, you're a collection of all my favorite things in this world. Imperfect and all, I still love you. That's not going to change."

They looked at each other for the longest time. As the cars kept passing them the time kept ticking. They didn't have to say much. It was pure evident with only their eyes.

Jimin held his hand like he was holding the entire world. So careful, so gentle, and so loving. Yoongi never thought he'd have the privilege to be loved in such a beautiful way.

He had shown his ugly parts and Jimin didn't leave. He had made him feel like his rusty dark side was filled with rainbows.

It was quite beautiful.

The ties that were holding him back had suddenly loosen up. It was okay to let go of his fears. At least for tonight. He deserved to enjoy this moment without thinking of the what if's. He leaned in closer and pressed his hand against Jimin's cheek.

Breathing was unsteady and hands shaky, but he did not break the eye contact. Not until he pressed his lips against Jimin's.

The kiss was natural. Not forced. Jimin responded to it like it was his instinct. Like their lips were destined to be on each other's. Yoongi smiled in the middle of the kiss as a tear escaped his eyes.

Jimin wasn't just kissing his lips or his skin. He was kissing his soul. Instead of touching his waist first, he had caressed his mind. He had planted this seed of hope that had slowly flourished into a beautiful garden.

A garden that turned his psyche into a peaceful place that was once an ugly battlefield. It's like he had planned it all.

Jimin had molded into his soul mate and Yoongi knew there was no going back. Even if they weren't destined to be.