Come Back With Me

He Wants So Many Things With Her

Bucky tossed and turned all night thinking about what Steve was proposing. He knew that he should stay. He could stay here and pick up where Steve left off. He could attempt to fill the hole of Captain America even though he already knew he would fail miserably. He knew that this is what he should do but that doesn't mean he isn't tempted. Of course he's tempted.

If he could be selfish, he could see her in two days. He could hold her in two days.

If he was honest with himself, he was jealous of Steve. He was so sure in his conviction to go back. He knew he could make Peggy happy.
He knew he couldn't give her all the happiness she deserves and she deserves so much.

She would be happy with her husband and would get Steve back. Steve would take care of her and make sure to keep the husband in line. He would be the best uncle to James and Steven. That is the most happiness he could give her.

But he still wants to go back. He wants Steve to make sure he's treating his sister right. He wants to watch Steve walk his sister down the isle. He wants to marry her and go on trips with her, Steve, And Peggy. He wants to father her children. He wants to grow old with her.

He wants so many things with her.

He thought that part of him died when he fell of the train. The man who wants the domestic life. He had managed to bury her memory in the back of his mind and rarely touch it.

In the years since he and Steve reunited, they hadn't muttered her name once. They hadn't even talked about her until today. As far as he knows, Steve hasn't even told the rest of the team about his sister. He's sure they all know he had a sister, a twin, but know nothing about her. It was too painful for both of them to talk about her.

He's jealous that Steve will get her back. He gets to have her light shine on him again. A voice in the back of his head tells him he could have that too if he wasn't such a stubborn jackass.

The thing is he wants to protect her but is selfish enough where he could take up Steve's offer of staying close-by so she won't get hurt. The thing that is really stopping him is how scared he is.

What if she doesn't want him anymore? Steve said that they would be returning to the girls in 1949. They needed to make sure the world thought they were really dead before reappearing. They didn't want the world to discover that Captain America and Sergeant James Barnes had survived. That would just invite people to try to pull them out of retirement.

While he understood that, there was so much time between when he left her and 1949. He left for the war in 1943. It will have been 6 since she saw him.

Steve reassured him that she'll still love him just as much but will she be in love with him?

He's still in love with her after all these years but how long will she hold on to a deadman?

He's not the man that left her. He's broken beyond compare and the only thing he's good for is destruction. How can he inflict that on her?

He knows her and Peggy both married in 1953 in a double wedding. They mourned Steve and him together and ended up becoming like sisters.

That's another reason Steve wants to wait until 1949. He wants the girls to build that bond that could only come with our death. The first time Peggy met her was when she told her they were dead. She lost a brother and fiancé in one day. She was already an orphan so she lost every single person she ever carried about. Peggy became her family and he will be forever thankful to her for that.

He look at the clock and sees that it's 6 AM. He decides it's best to get up. He sees Steve's notebook sitting on the counter and gets an idea.

He's too much of a coward to go to her in person but he can't resist telling her how much he loves her.

He opens the notebook to the very last page. He knows it will take Steve awhile to work his way to that page and by the time he does, he should be able to give it to her.

Dear Elizabeth,