It Just Didn't Feel Right

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Lizzie and Bucky both sit down at the kitchen table, ready to talk it out.

Lizzie is the one who decides to get the ball rolling.

"I'm not pregnant," Lizzie says.

"I know," Bucky responds.

Lizzie is surprised to hear this. He seemed positive yesterday.

"What? How?" Lizzie asks.

"Becca came by," Bucky explains.

Rebecca must have come over and explained the situation to him.

"You understand it wasn't my place to tell you her news before she knew, right?" Lizzie asks.

"Of course, none of this is your fault. It's all on me. I'm actually glad you left last night before I said something worse," Bucky admits.

"If I had stayed, would you have said something worse?" Lizzie asks curiously.

Bucky's first impulse is to deny it but then he thinks back to the anger he felt yesterday. If she stayed, he really might've said something worse to her.

"Probably, I was so mad that you would hide something so big from me. We've always promised to be honest with each other. It's something we've been good at the whole time we've been together and it bothered me that you could lie to me so easily," Bucky says.

"I understand why that would make you angry but you still had no right to accuse me of what you did," Lizzie says.

Bucky sighs and puts his head in his hands.

"I'm so sorry I said that Ellie," Bucky says in anguish.

"I know, Bucky but is there a part of you that believes it?" Lizzie asks.

Lizzie is afraid that part of Bucky really believes that she is so ambitious that she would condemn her baby.

Bucky's head shoots up and he immediately begins shaking his head. He moves off his chair and kneels in front of her. He grabs her hands in his.

"Of course not! We've talked about kids before and I know how much you want them. I know we don't even have them yet and you already love them. You have the most beautiful heart and you would never ever do something like that. I'm just an idiot who was attempting to hurt the woman he loves for some stupid reason," Bucky says.

She closes her eyes and tries to keep her composure. She can feel Bucky lift their joined hands and press his lips to her fingers.

She opens her eyes and sees him looking up at her desperately.

"I need you to promise me something Bucky," Lizzie says.

"Anything, it's yours," Bucky says.

"If we have an argument, I need you to listen to my side of things. One of the things I love about you is you are so passionate but sometimes that passion can make you hot headed. I don't want to be in your verbal cross fire every time we have an argument," Lizzie says.

"Done, I promise," Bucky vows.

"Alright, then I forgive you," Lizzie says.

He doesn't deserve her forgiveness. He deserves to grovel at her feet because he knows that he really messed up.

"Is it bad I feel like I got off too easy?" Bucky says.

"What? You want me to stay mad at you?" Lizzie asks.

"Of course not but I still feel horribly guilty," Bucky says.

"Would it make you feel better if I made you do dishes for a week? I could also force you to sleep on the couch tonight," Lizzie says.

Bucky laughs because it is just like Lizzie to try to expunge his guilt. She smiles too because the whole thing is just ridiculous.

Bucky decides to cook her dinner as an apology but she has to stop and help him part way through because he is burning everything. She has tried to teach him over the years but he was still hopeless in the kitchen.

He does however do all the dishes without complaint when they are finished eating.

When Lizzie goes to the living room, she sees that there is already a pillow and blanket on the couch.

She looks at Bucky and gives him a questioning look.

"I couldn't sleep in our bed alone. It just didn't feel right," he says.

Their conversation from earlier left them both exhausted and they both decide they should go to sleep.

Like they agreed, Bucky stayed downstairs to sleep on the couch.

Lizzie tosses and turns for a couple of hours. She understands what Bucky means when he says it didn't feel right to sleep in their bed alone.

She finally decides she's not going to get any rest so she goes downstairs to get some water.

After she drinks a glass, she goes into the living room to check on Bucky.

She is surprised to see when she enters that he is still awake.

"What are you still doing up?" Lizzie asks.

"I couldn't sleep. What about you?" Bucky asks.

"The same, I just came down for a glass of water," Lizzie explains.

"Well, goodnight," Bucky says.

Lizzie can tell this isn't what he wants to say.

"Jaime?" Lizzie asks.

He can't help but smile at the familiar nickname.

"Yes, Ellie?" Bucky responds.

"Can you come to bed? I can't sleep alone," she admits.

He was really hoping she'd say that.

"Of course, doll," Bucky responds.

He gets up from the couch and throws an arm around her shoulder to lead her upstairs.

When they get upstairs they both lay on their sides of the bed, not touching.

Neither of them can sleep but neither knows how to bridge the gap either.

Bucky finally decides to reach out to her.

"Can I hold you?" Bucky whispers.

She feels such relief when he asks the question. She didn't know if she would be able to sleep when they were so close but so far apart at the same time.

Lizzie says nothing but she slides over to his side of the bed and lies her head on his chest. He wraps his arm around her and she places one of her legs on his.

He places a kiss to the top of her head and strokes up and down her back with his hand soothingly.

"I love you so much Ellie. You are the most extraordinary, kind, forgiving, and loving person I have ever met," Bucky says.

"I love you too Jaime. I'll always love you," she says.

And she means it. No matter what happens, she will always love him. Until her dying day, she will love James Buchanan Barnes.

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