All I Ask of You

Chapter 13

He broke away first, and I wasn't sure what to make of the whole encounter. He was breathing through his mouth; his eyes were filling with water; and his whole body was shaking. 

I slowly took my hands off of his face and waited for him to break the deafening silence. He continued staring at me, and I grew more and more nervous. I didn't want to hurt him, and I didn't want to upset him either. 

He tried to blink away the tears and the haze that the wine had created. Finally, I couldn't stand the silence and spoke, "Erik, please say something."

He began to sob. It was reminiscent of Gerard Butler's portrayal of the Phantom's heart break on the roof of the Opera Populaire after Christine and Raoul profess their love for one another. 

He dropped to his knees in front of me and grabbed for my hands. He held them to his face, and he cried. He was breaking my heart. I was scared that I had ruined everything with one little kiss. 

"Please don't hate me," I whispered as I felt tears springing to my eyes.

"Hate you?" he spoke, his voice thick with emotion, "How could I ever hate you?" He was squeezing my hands tightly. 

"I was afraid I upset you..." he looked up at me. His face and his cloth mask soaked in tears, "Oh look, your mask is all wet."

He gave me a pained smile through his tears, "Caroline, I... I just don't know how to... I don't know how to do this."

"Do what, darling?" I asked as tears threatened to fall from my eyes. 

"Make you happy... I want to."

"Erik, I'm happy here with you. Let's just leave it at that for now," I wanted to kiss him again. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, and I wanted to love him. The kiss was already too much... He was so vulnerable. I also knew the wine was getting to him, and now was not the time to discuss our relationship further. 

"I do care about you, Caroline. I hope you know that."

"I do. I care about you as well." 

He cried into my hands again, "It's just that... I've been hidden from society for so long that the simplest things become difficult for me. I've lived in solitude for so long that it seems strange to share such a companionship with a beautiful woman when I'm such a hideous creature."

"Erik, don't speak about yourself in that way. I find you incredibly handsome."

"You wouldn't say that if you could see this," he motioned toward his mask. 

"I think I would," I gazed into his eyes, "You have these enchanting eyes, tender lips, and the sweetest soul..." I ran my fingers along his left side jawline, "Promise you'll never leave me, Erik," I whispered as the thought of being without him suddenly raced through my mind. 

"I promise," he said quietly. He gave my hand a gentle kiss and excused himself to bed. For the rest of the evening, I sat alone and could hear his very soft cries through the night.