All I Ask of You

Chapter 21

Erik and I had finally settled into our married life. We had a system for running the household and a way of communicating with one another. He had forgiven me for keeping my little secret from him, but we swore never to keep another secret from one another. 

We had a few months of blissful married life. We loved one another and everything was going well. However, I was keeping another secret from Erik. I had discovered about a month after our first night together that I was exhibiting signs of pregnancy. I kept my thoughts to myself because I was unsure. Not to mention, I didn't want to cause an unnecessary problem between Erik and myself. 

Finally, I estimated that I was three months along. My once flat stomach was now swollen to the point that I looked more than bloated. It was time that I told Erik. I dreaded it. I know Erik had said that he couldn't have children for fear of passing on his deformity. I had to break the news in the most gentle way possible. 

I prepared dinner for us like usual, and I got ready to tell him the biggest news of his life. He came home from delivering a score to the Opera House and ran toward me, "Hello, my dear. How was your day?" he kissed me and smiled happily. 

"It was good. How was yours? You seem awfully happy!"

"I am happy! I have a surprise! I got contracted to write three more operas for the Opera House! So I have a present for my lovely wife..." he opened up a box to reveal a beautiful new gown, "I hope you like it." 

"Oh, Erik! You didn't need to-"

"Nonsense! You're my beautiful wife. You deserve beautiful things."

"Thank you, darling," I gave him a kiss on the cheek, "The only thing that would make me even happier is if you take that mask off."

"Oh, forgive me, my dear," he apologized taking his mask off. He quickly went and returned his mask to the hook beside the front door. We had agreed that he would not wear his mask inside our home unless we had company, which we never did, so there was a hook at the front door so he remembered to take his mask off when he returned. 

"Thank you," I whispered kissing his right cheek, "I've missed you. Come, let's eat."

We sat down at our table and began eating dinner. I cleared my throat nervously. I was unable to eat because of how nervous I was. Finally, I spoke, "Erik," I reached for his hand, "I have something very important to tell you."

"What's wrong?" he began to panic. 

"No, no. Please listen," I squeezed his hand, "Erik, I know when we first met you said you couldn't have children or didn't want to have children-"

"I did..." he nodded. 

"Well," I let out a slight chuckle, "God had other plans for us, darling. I'm expecting a baby, Erik. Your baby... Our baby."

He began to shake, "No... No... We can't... I can't." 

"Erik," I stood and sat on his lap. He was trembling. I wrapped his arms around me and placed his hands on my swollen abdomen, "Our baby is right there..." 

"Oh no... What have I done..."

"Erik, no.... It's a beautiful thing."

"I need to take a walk." 

"Erik-"

He helped me stand up and then went out the front door, grabbing his mask on the way out. 

I left our dinner on the table and went to our bedroom. I sat down in our bed and began to cry. Laying down, I pulled my dress tightly over my stomach making my bump obvious. Then I began to cry harder, coving my face with my hands. Finally, I curled into a ball and cried myself to sleep. 

When I woke, it was still dusk outside. I decided to grab my shawl and go search for my husband. I had a strong feeling that I knew where he was. Erik loved to walk the beach near our home. I ventured outside and immediately spotted him sitting in the sand. I walked toward him, and sat down next to him, "Do you mind if I join you?" He wouldn't look at me, but he nodded his head, "Erik, it's going to alright."

"What if they look like me?" he asked through a sob. 

"We will love them... We will love them no matter what... I love you no matter what." 

Erik wrapped his arm around me, "I love you too... We're having a baby..." he whispered. 

"We are," I whispered in reply.