Euphoria

Out Of Touch. I

Nate Jacobs was in love. He didn't know how it happened. He didn't know why it happened. But he could just feel it. And it felt so fucking good. But it was complicated. What was it about Cassie Howard that allowed Nate to fully surrender himself? With Maddy, it was always a game. Cassie was the opposite. He knew he wasn't perfect. That he had some... issues. But maybe the reason he had those issues is because Maddy brought out the worst in him. And maybe if he met Cassie when he was a sophomore instead of Maddy... she would've brought out the best in him. How could he have ever overlooked her? Underestimated her? She was everything you could ever want in a woman. He knew it was a little soon to say, but he could imagine spending life with her. He was at home... and in love. She was intuitive and emotional. She was sensitive and vulnerable. She was a strong, powerful woman. Nate began to wonder if he had brain damage. How would he know? He knew he could do a better job than his dad. He wouldn't fuck his kid up the way his dad fucked him up. And the way his granddad fucked his dad up. Except his dad was such a fuckin' idiot. He couldn't even control himself. And had jeopardized everything their family worked for. Sometimes... he just wished that his dad would drop dead of a heart attack... But there's no point in fantasizing about a life with Cassie when he knew that Maddy had that disc. What if he could go back to the beginning? What would he wish? Where would things go? Who would he be? 

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Nyla Anderson was as beautiful as ever. She looked tanner than she had a month ago and I could tell that she had added more to her beautiful collection of tattoos. We had been with each other nearly every day since after new years. She had been nice enough to take me places probably knowing just how uncomfortable I truely was at that house. Cole and I hadn't talked since New Years. We'd barely seen each other at all. It was mostly my fault. I did everything I could to dodge him like a fucking bullet. Except for family dinners. Where Cole would always choose the seat opposite to me. Where he spent most of his dinner trying to share eye contact with me whereas I spent my time avoiding eye contact at all cost. At least it let me gain more information about my food. If I stared hard enough at my plate I swear I could see all the little ingredients put together. The worst encounters with him happened to be from our shared bathroom. I only realised we were sharing a bathroom when I had walked in on him drying his hair. We had both stared at each other with wide eyes before I had finally come to my senses and slammed the door shut. Cole had taken the spare room because obviously I was in his room. He hadn't even mentioned the fact that I was in his room but i did notice things were missing now. There weren't as much clothes in his wardrobe, his jocks were gone, and his PS4 had disappeared. Nyla had told me that Cole had insisted that I stay in his room but I didn't understand why. He had also been acting strange. Not once had he been outside of his room. Not even when Nate came to the house with bruises covering his face, instead Jake had told Nate he was out. Cole was never out these days. My head was spinning from how fucking confusing he was being. What games was he playing?

"I swear we should just turn around now" Nyla whispers and I look over at her with a small smile. The first day of school. Always a shit show. People came in with that ideology of new year, new me. Always trying so hard to be someone they weren't. 

"I do actually want to graduate so lets maybe not turn around" I say with a wink and she rolls her eyes before we jump out of the car. Almost as soon as we had walked into the school I felt crowded and disgusted all at the same time. The hallways smelt like B.O and everyone looked about as dead as I felt. When I spotted Rue she was in some awkward stare between Jules and Elliot. I knew they had been spending a lot of time together recently. He made a ton of money selling music stems online, and I was l almost sure they bought a bunch of drugs with it.

"Um... it was nice to meet you" Jules said quickly before her eyes quickly darted up to look at Nyla and I as we made our way towards the three of them. Jules looked out of place. Anxious. I was almost certain it had something to do with the weird vibes that Rue and Elliot were giving off. Who knows maybe they were attracted to each other or something but to be honest for Rue at least...I think she was scared of getting caught. "Hey guys" Jules says quickly giving us a small smile. I hadn't talked to Jules since New Years. I didn't really want to. I lost most respect for her when she got on that train but who knows? Maybe I'm just a biassed narrator? I place a small smile on my face that I knew would look forced. Nyla nudged me slightly before she gave a bright smile